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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
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Sun, Nov 02 2008, 12:26 pm
In todays world, nearly every family has someone either at risk, off the derech, or somewhat not exactly how the parents wished they would have turned out.
Withstanding the pressures of the world is really tough.
When you see a family, that even in todays world, all their kids are good, frum yidden, do you ever ask them what their tricks are, how they got their family to remain strong?
Have you heard any tips from such people, and if so, can you share?
What do you suspect their secret is?
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Ruchel
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Sun, Nov 02 2008, 12:35 pm
There will be exceptions to all the rules, but generally these people are:
-nice and warm and loving
-confident enough to permit what is ok, in order to be confident enough to forbid what is not
-consistent
-not crazy strict in their community's standard, also not laxist and complacent (in the same scale) - those who want or have to forget this rule must have a good explanation, and show the sources as well as the beauty and interest
-acknowledge their mistakes and defects, Hashem only is perfect but we try
-are happy when their child does good, but their love isn't dependent on it, and especially things not in their control (gemara kop, etc)
-cultured in Jewish matters, and also cultured enough in chol to be able not to fall in the traps of haskala
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