My son abuses the baby. loosing my mind..

amother

Wed, Nov 12 2008, 2:42 pm

although time out can work I fuind it completey unescessary when they are 2 and younger.. there are so many more positive ways to deal with it!

Firstly distraction.. second dont put your little one in a situation where they will hurt baby.. try your hardest to always be watching.. to put baby higher up so the little one wont reach her while your cooking.. etc..

one amother mentioned she tried everything and nthing works... negative is a lot faster results because the child is scared to do it but posotve takes longer and TEACHES proper behavior..
it takes at least a few months until you will see results.. be consostant.. try momamias advice .. I think t can work.. and do it consostantly for a long time..

Tefila

Thu, Nov 13 2008, 12:27 am

When my dd was 2 and the twins were born I made her feel so special that she helped me with them then the other way around. I would say you are big you can do this and this, the are babies cannot do things by themselves like you. Yo u are big you and I are going out later they are still babies , you can sit whilst mummy reads your fav story they are still so little so they don't understand.
She loved them to earth, now they do get into fights I admit, however they idolize her most of the time and she takes on a mummy role with them. B"H.
Summary, make your son feel like he is your big boy abd deserves to be treated as such. Hatzlacha Smile

otoh

Boys sometimes show wird ways of affection unlike girls so my advice may or may not help.

amother

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 8:13 pm

I am still having such a hard time with my 2.5 year old. I tried different things, also did what a expert told me in my case, but it is not working. its only getting worse. my dd kiks now, not only her sister and me but also the guests!!!
it makes me so sad, do not know what to do anymore Sad

Beauty and the Beast

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 9:08 pm

oh my, my son has off from school for a week now, and I am really trying hard to keep my cool.. its so hard when the 2 kids are together the whole day. He does not let the poor kid live..
I tried time outs, he thinks if he says I'm sorry to the baby, then he has a liscence to do it again later. How do I get it thru to him that the action itself is a no-no? He doesn't seem to get it..

mimivan

Mon, Jan 26 2009, 10:29 pm

Beauty and the Beast wrote:

I could have written this post!
How old is the older one and what does he do to the baby?
I think I'm going to stop fighting so many battles. My 5 year old ds (he did the same thing when he was 3) just grits his teeth and jumps around the baby...he grabs teh baby's hand and makes him "dance" (without picking him up) and tosses (soft) things at the baby. Well, he's five, reasonably intelligent ba'h and knows a baby can't catch...I say "Why are you doing these things!" and was going out of my mind. He wouldn't stop!!!

Then I realized that I am "awfulizing" his behavior alot of the time. So I ask myself. "Is it dangerous?" As long as I am watching him,, 75% of the time not really (and that 25% of the time, I'm stepping in).."Is the baby crying." No, the baby likes it and giggles. I decided it was less annoying than the baby crying which he usually does out of boredom. What was annoying me was I couldn't leave them and go cook something, but I guess I just can't. It beats getting angry.

This is my take on the "weird way older boys give affection or act around babies"
and not hitting and the like. I guess I'm going t put up with the annoyance because it is better than getting angry all the time.