How I got DS to fall asleep on his own (response thread)

pinkbubbles

Wed, Feb 11 2009, 3:29 pm

response to
http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....71351

DS used to fall asleep on his own as a newborn, but then we somehow found ourselves having to rock/bounce/sway/walk him to sleep and then having to hold him until he was in a deep sleep before attempting to put him down. After all day of doing this for naps and then again at bedtime, I couldn't handle it.
In additon, we were co sleeping for about 3 months, but I couldn't do it anymore - I can't sleep well with him in my bed (its too small!)

I read up on different 'sleep training' methods, and each just did not sit well with 100%, so I made up my own thing. This is some of what I learned:

- I dont reccomend starting anything like this until you feel your baby can understand and respond. I didn't even try before 3.5 months. Some say 6 months, but its not CIO so I started earlier.
- Log your baby's sleep activity, night and day, for 10 days (I did about 8). Using their tired times and sleepy signals, implement a nap/night bed routine and try to follow it the best you can, then re-log 10 days later to see if it is working.
- Babies need an EARLY bedtime. This does not mean they will wake up early. You can put a baby to sleep at 11 pm and he'll still wake up for the day at 6 am.
- Be careful about what sleep associations you give your child. I stay away from boucing, rocking, etc unless he really is not calming down. I only had to rock him a few times since stopping. I try to put him in the crib as soon as he is tired, like if he falls sleep in his swing or something.
- I can't say enough about a good routine. An example would be quiet time for an hour, then bath, massage, book, singing, sleep. It should relax your child, if not then try other things.
- PAITENCE, LOVE, AND RESPECT are the absolute keys to helping change your baby's sleep. The second I felt upset or stressed out I switch off with my husband, otherwise DS feels it and cries. Try something when you are somewhat rested so you have more patience.
- Swaddling works wonders, if your baby likes it. DS does not like it anymore. It works wonders for helping them stay asleep, it stops the reflex that makes them 'jump' and wake them up.
- I try to schedule his naps so he is not sleeping too close to his bedtime. Also not to let him sleep too much in the day (depends on age)
- I'm sure theres more, I can't remember it all right now.

CIO would not work for me, though I realized he would not go to sleep on his own if he didn't cry at all. Now that he is on a routine he gets tired by 7.30 and is usually asleep by 7.45. Nap times I am still working on, but I don't mind being flexible with that, nightime is more important.
Basically the first time I put him down (sleepy) he cried with me coming back every two, yes TWO minutes - I waited outside the door, then went in and soothed him for about one minute. When he was calm I went back out. It took less than an hour for him to fall asleep, and he was not crying the whole time at all, since he knew I kept coming back. I also knew that he was fed, dry, and burped. I was by his side when he fell asleep, and I am still by his side when he falls asleep (been doing this for a month)- but less and less as the time goes by. I am aiming for him to relax with just my voice from the hallway. This will probably happen as he gets older and learns I am still nearby even though he cannot see me. The second time I did this - I do it for naps too, by the way - he cried a LOT less, maybe 15 minutes. Now it takes about 10 minutes of him in his crib to fall asleep, usually with no crying at all. When he starts fussing I go in to him and he falls asleep in under a minute knowing I am nearby. He sometimes opens his eyes just to check that I am still there and then relaxes completely.
I want to mention that sometimes he would get hysterical if I was in the room, so I would go out and come back in a minute. If he continued to get hysterical I would pick him up and soothe him, but put him down as soon as I felt he was ready - and start again. I never leave him to cry hysterically.
I discovered (especially for naps) that he has a mini awakening about 30 minutes after going to sleep. If I can catch him before this happens, or during, then he goes straight back to sleep. If this is the case for you then sit in his room and settle him as soon as he wakes.

There have been several times since starting this that he has fallen asleep without my presence, and no crying at all.