Shopping disaster | Imamother

amother

Thu, Feb 26 2009, 9:39 pm

Tonight my husband and 2 young children went shopping for shobbas at a well known supermarket. My daughter started throwing apples on the floor and my husband gave her a smack. Many people gave shocked looks and I felt really embarrassed since I know some of them. My husband says that he is the parent and there is nothing wrong with discipline a kid. I have 2 questions I believe discipline should be done at home only. Am I wrong for believing this? For the future how can I convince him that making a scene is not the route to go?

greenfire

Thu, Feb 26 2009, 9:43 pm

slapping doesn't help anybody in or out of the home !!! you sound more embarrassed for yourself than sad for your little daughter ... she needs to be watched and redirected ...

bubby

Thu, Feb 26 2009, 9:54 pm

You know what ticks me off? To see kids behaving badly & watching ineffectual parents say,"Oh, sweetie, we don't behave like that." Well guess what? Sweetie does!!

Having said that, I think your DH went in the opposite direction. It probably would have been smarter to have scolded her quietly, moved her aside, perhaps sat her in the shopping cart if she's young enough, & picked up all the apples. And if they're bruised, buy them so the owner isn't out a few apples.

Then tell her she can't go shopping until she can behave nicely. And no treats...we don't reward bad behavior, even in little ones. As a general rule I don't believe in smacking. Strangling, maybe. If the circumstances merit it. Wink

Mrs Bissli

Mon, Mar 02 2009, 3:24 pm

I think there are two separate issues..

Your DH (whom I think is a high priority case here): You need to have an agreement in what is acceptable/not acceptable in disciplining children. Personally, I don't think smacking or any physical discipline helps, with the sole exception that the child is in danger. Would he hit you if you diagree/misbehave (ch'l)? How would he feel if your DD learns it's ok to hit her friends at kindergarten/school as a mode of communication?

Your DD: First of all, how old is she? Is she old enough to understand there are things that can be and should not be done? If she's too young to understand, DH should have taken her out of the store as soon as realistically possible. I believe a child needs to understand the boundary of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour, WHY this is so (because the apples in the store do not belong to her, and because apples get booboo and it is wrong to damage foods) so she can apply her thinking in future (no throwing food or things that can get damaged on the floor).

realeez

Mon, Mar 02 2009, 3:34 pm

bubby wrote:

As a general rule I don't believe in smacking. Strangling, maybe. If the circumstances merit it. Wink

Thanks - I really needed that laugh!

back to topic, if a kid is going to be ruining things in a store, they have to be removed from the situation pronto.