How much does your environment influence you?

shalhevet

Sun, May 14 2006, 5:39 pm

Do you think the mentality of the Jews/non jews in the country you live in affects your mentality and/or priorities in life?

Do you think the community you live in has an effect on how frum/idealistic etc you are?

Do you think you would be different and/or have different priorities if you lived somewhere else?

If you are very frum and are living in a community which is "weaker" religiously, do you think you are weakened or strengthened by this?

Ruchel

Sun, May 14 2006, 6:14 pm

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Do you think the mentality of the Jews/non jews in the country you live in affects your mentality and/or priorities in life?

I take the good things and try to leave the bad ones... Most people here are non jews, and most Jews are North African, and I feel different from them, so I probably "resist" well lol (not to mention I went to public school and was often the only one in the class not to smoke/go out/flirt)

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Do you think the community you live in has an effect on how frum/idealistic etc you are?

No, but if I was constantly around them maybe it would.

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Do you think you would be different and/or have different priorities if you lived somewhere else?

Not really. I am not easy to influence.

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If you are very frum and are living in a community which is "weaker" religiously, do you think you are weakened or strengthened by this?

I am not very frum, but the community is still "weaker" and although it doesn't weaken me, it definitely doesn't help me "grow".

red sea

Sun, May 14 2006, 6:40 pm

For me the answers are Yes, Yes, No, and Strengthened.

To elaborate, the people that surround you, be it country or religion or whatever, have an influence on who you are, but it depends who you are, which way you are influenced. ( Now that I got you real confused Wink

) - I might be inspired and try to emulate it, or I might feel disgusted and rebel in the opposite direction. If you hate some of your country's ideas you go the opposite direction, or if you agree with them they become a part of you.

Some people would spiritually grow in a very frum environment and weaken in a lesser one, Others would feel stifled and rebel in a frummer community, and strengthen in a weak one where they knew that they are more religious than everyone else and not like that.

I guess that what I am trying to get across is your inborn personality has a whole lot to do with how your surroundings influence you.

Motek

Wed, May 17 2006, 9:34 am

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Do you think the community you live in has an effect on how frum/idealistic etc you are?

Rambam in Hilchos Dei'os, chapter 6, Halacha 1 says:

By nature, a person is drawn - in his way of thinking and his actions - after his friends and acquaintances and does as the people of his country/city do. Therefore, a person ought to associate with tzaddikim and constantly sit among chachamim, in order to learn from their ways; and keep far away from the wicked who walk in darkness, so he doesn't learn from their ways.

mummyof6 wrote:

Do you think the mentality of the Jews/non jews in the country you live in affects your mentality and/or priorities in life?

Yes. Those in Western countries have a different mentality than those who grew up under communism. The American mentality is different than the European mentality. Sefardim are affected by the Arab mentality. Israelis have their mentality.

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Do you think you would be different and/or have different priorities if you lived somewhere else?

I've wondered about this - in connection with Americans who raise their children in Israel, and what it's like for those with an American mentality to be raising children growing up in a different culture.

So yes, I think I would be somewhat different and have different priorities depending on where I lived. But that would also be the case if I grew up in a different family even in the same place!

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If you are very frum and are living in a community which is "weaker" religiously, do you think you are weakened or strengthened by this?

See Rambam quoted above. The only way you can avoid being weakened by a weak environment is if your role there is to teach others and raise them up, being an example they can emulate such as a rav, person involved in kiruv/a shliach.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, May 22 2006, 6:29 am

mummyof6 wrote:

Do you think the mentality of the Jews/non jews in the country you live in affects your mentality and/or priorities in life?

for me, living in Israel, the non jews are mostly arabs and so they have not effected my way of life at all. the Jews in this country, I think that I have learned to be more respectfull of all types of Jews since living here.

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Do you think the community you live in has an effect on how frum/idealistic etc you are?

sometimes yes and sometimes no. I know that right now my husband and I are not living in a community of our hashkafa (it is for convenience) and so it rally does not effect me at all. for exaple, most women here wear wigs and stockings or socks in summer. I never wear a wig, only barettes and never wear socks with sandals. I know my level of yiddishkeit and dont let others dictate it to me.

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Do you think you would be different and/or have different priorities if you lived somewhere else?

no@ as I said above, I know my priorities and that is what keeps me going on the level that I am.

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If you are very frum and are living in a community which is "weaker" religiously, do you think you are weakened or strengthened by this?

I have the opposite example. I would say that I live in a "stronger" community (I would not like that word b/c we are all striving to get dvaikut HaShem and we each do it how we know best) and I am the weaker one and I have not gotten "stronger" b/c of it. personally, my examples, wig and socks in summer, I dont think that those things make you more frum than someone who wears a barette and sandals with no socks....

shabbatiscoming

Thu, May 25 2006, 4:07 am

Motek wrote:

what do you mean by "more frum"?

by this I mean that ppl who wear stockings and wigs think or feel that they are more religious than myself who covers her hair, wears skirts below my knee and keeps halacha to the best of my ability. so, it really drives me crazy when such ppl think that they are more frum, religious, than myself.

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and I'm also wondering what do you mean by "barrette" in reference to hair - isn't a barrette a clip for the hair to hold it or for decoration (or both) and nothing to do with hair covering?

mommy912, you are correct, I spelled it wrong, I meant baret, but you can cover all of your hair with them. I do sometimes, not always, sometimes I leave a tefach out.