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Wearing Shoes Indoors - rude to ask to remove shoes?
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 7:34 pm
I am useto taking off my shoes when I enter someones home. Now, in the community that I live in, noone takes there shoes off when they enter anyones home (even if it is fully light carpeted). I am getting useto this but I was just wondering the reason why this is so.I feel like it is even rude to remove your shoes. Halachic sources? Just different custom? Are seeing someones socks/feet considered untzniut?
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 7:39 pm
several issues ... there are those who say that walking with socks is similar to mourning and it's not a good idea

however, if you do wish for someone to remove their shoes one must have either nice clean floors or little footsie socks to put over their socks so they don't get dirty or ripped ...

and just because one has a nice carpet in the living room doesn't mean the kitchen, bathroom or even dining room floors are cushy and clean too ...

yeah I've been asked to do this and refused till I got a pair of socks which could get dirty
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flowerpower




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 8:03 pm
There are many people that do not walk around without shoes or slippers. It's because an aveilos walks around like that.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 8:39 pm
If anyone were to tell me that, I would not set foot into his/her home. What a horrible thing to do. Hospitality at its worst.
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ChutzPAh




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 8:56 pm
OP, are you from Canada by any chance?
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msym




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 8:58 pm
are u canadian- this seems to be a trend up there Very Happy
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Mommastuff




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:02 pm
YES it IS rude to ask!! My dh and I went to someone's house for a Shabbos meal where we were asked to take off our shoes. My dh was very uncomfortsble with this but did it anyway to not make a big deal out of it. Maybe he also had a hole in his sock from our long walk there and both of our feet stunk cuz it was really hot out.

Needless to say he does not want to go back cuz of that.

At least have slippers or something for company!
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the world's best mom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:04 pm
I would never ask anyone to take off their shoes when they come into my house! I want guests to feel welcome, like I care about having them there more than I care about having clean floors. If a guest is made to feel like they are ruining your house by coming in with shoes on, they may be unable to enjoy their stay so well because they will be too worried about leaving dirt anywhere.
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amother


 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:30 pm
Hi,
Thanks for your responses. Yes I am Canadian and in my community it was considered a little rude to walk in with your shoes on especially if it was snowy, muddy etc.. so I guess I am not the only one wondering this. Thanks everyone for your replies.. I never have asked anyone to remove their shoes when coming over because I figured it would be rude, I was just wondering if people would actually get offended, and I guess that is a yes. So even when I go into someones house, is it rude if I take my shoes off? What if there is mud or something all over my shoes? I think this will take some getting useto.
Thanks :)
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:33 pm
B'h
Actually now I have started encouraging people to keep their shoes on but wiping well on the mat 1. I can't take the odour of smelly feet Twisted Evil 2. Perhaps to help me justify it I heard only people in mourning do that.
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Tehilla




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:35 pm
Growing up, I was taught to always take your shoes off in the house. I am much more comfortable barefoot (or stocking-foot these days). It was a difficult habit to break, which I did because I was told about the same things as others regarding aveilus.

I do however, almost instantly change into house slippers as soon as possible.

I would not think it's appropriate to require others to do so, unless the Jewish community you currently live in has this as the norm.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:39 pm
my mother is most certainly NOT canadian and that is what we did in her house - and my sister still holds by this minhag ... when you think about it - you are dragging on your clean floors the dirt & grime from the street - who wants to even walk barefoot on a floor that a shoe that stepped on a dog doo - even if gone from site and blechhhhhhhh ... but I still prefer shoes at the door in snowy season but can tolerate it otherwise ... maybe I'm a slob What
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Tehilla




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:41 pm
I doubt you're a slob, and my house is NOT as neat as I would like it to be.

sigh.

(edited for typo. I hate making a typo.)


Last edited by Tehilla on Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:45 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:44 pm
B'h
Come see mine and then we'll take a survey Tongue Out
Gone were the days before Imamother(had to blame someone) Twisted Evil
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solo




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:47 pm
in my own house I always take of my shoes. so do other family members. we have slippers in the front closet. although I am not opposed to anyone walking round in socks or bare feet.

when entering other peoples homes I leave my shoes on. unless im at the home of a close relative or friend who also prefers no shoes in the house.
unless its wet and rainy outside id find it odd if someone took thier shoes off when entering my house.
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greenfire




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:48 pm
tehilla - I AM a slob

tefila - you're blaming everyone tonight ... take some credit Wink
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:54 pm
B'h

Me blaming others???? NOOOOOOOOOOO that can't be right LOL
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yihyetov




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:55 pm
yea, but what if its really snowy and slushy outside and your house will be all muddy..is it okay to ask the guest to remove boots if u have slippers/flip flops waiting for them?
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Tehilla




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:55 pm
I don't know, but there's a whole lot of this:

Wink

going on from Tefila's end, and I'm highly suspicious.
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Tehilla




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 08 2009, 9:58 pm
yihyetov wrote:
yea, but what if its really snowy and slushy outside and your house will be all muddy..is it okay to ask the guest to remove boots if u have slippers/flip flops waiting for them?


Oh my, I wish I knew where this story is! There's an amazing story of a wealthy chossid who was so upset because chassidim visiting the Rebbe (don't remember which one) were trekking mud through his house. The end result was a story about when someone else went to Gan Eden, and were being judged, how the mud swung everything in favor for a good result.

I'm so mixing/abridging it cause I don't have it in front of me...but your question reminded me of that.

I think it would really, really depend on who it was and how well you knew them.
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