Wearing Shoes Indoors - rude to ask to remove shoes?

the world's best mom

Tue, Dec 08 2009, 7:50 pm

I remember the story as a woman complaining that her husband had many Rabanim over all the time so they could learn, and they tracked mud on her floor. Then she had a dream that Hashem was weighing her Mitzvos and Aveiros- The Aveira side of the scale was heavier until Hashem added all of the mud that she kept cleaning. That made the Mitzvah side heavier.
With this story in mind, I welcome people in with shoes, whatever the weather.

Tehilla

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 6:18 am

I haven't heard that version, although I don't doubt it! Smile

I happened to have just read the one I mentioned last week in a book in my house...just can't remember which one.

gem

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 6:29 am

We don't wear our outside/street shoes in our home. We have indoors shoes, but I'm not opposed to socks or bare feet (I wear slippers). Even though we don't wear our street shoes in our house, I wouldn't think of asking guests (or anyone else entering my home) to remove their shoes-- it seems rude.

We rent our house, and it has white carpets throughout (not in the bedrooms, bathroom or kitchen) so I cringe every time mud gets tracked across the living room. We have rugs by the front and side doors, but in wet/muddy weather, those don't seem to make much of a difference. I would not choose to carpet a house (certainly not a rental property!) in white! A few weeks ago we needed the internet/phone company to come out and repair a problem with our line. The repair guy noticed our white carpets and without asking me, removed his boots. I was grateful.

amother

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 7:35 am

We have a no shoes in the house rule. We are as American as apple pie, btw. We ask family, including parents to remove shoes. I ask kids and babysitters to remove shoes and have found that workers and non Jews ask if they should remove shoes. I don't usually ask adults to remove shoes, but I cringe inside and when we IY"H buy a house I might. Here is my reasoning. I have allergies and a crawling baby, as well as other little kids who play on the floor. So, that animal urine and poo and the chemicals on the lawn and pollin etc., my baby is going to crawl where you just walked and then put her hands in her mouth. YUCK! Plus we don't find it comfy.

Marion

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 7:47 am

I remember going to a bar mitzvah in Montreal in December. The ba'alei simcha had put together a package for the out of town guests, most of whom were being put up (very generously) by friends in the neighbourhood. I got a kick out of the following comment:

"You may be asked to remove your shoes upon entering the house. In Montreal this is not a sign of mourning, just a sign of winter."

While this would have been obvious to me, clearly it's a cultural norm.

happy2beme

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 8:03 am

This is quite funny. I'm on the opposite side of the coin. I have a guest who comes quite often for a Shabbos meal. He always takes off his shoes & leaves it in the middle of the living room. I always thought it was a little rude, like a little too comfy for my taste! Smile

frumie

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 8:11 am

It's different to take shoes off in the middle of your house and put your feet up on the furniture vs. taking them off at the door.

amother

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 8:15 am

My DH worked by someones house once & they told him that he must take off his shoes & leave them at the door.
He was so mad cuz, 1. the house wasnt clean at all that he should feel like hes bringing in dirt, & 2. He has shoes that r made for work (big bulky shoes). Now every time he needed something from his truck, he had to put it back on & when he came back in with tools, latter.... he had to stop there to take off his shoes. & forget about the fact that he couldnt eat all day cuz he kept on touching his shoes/feet so he couldnt make a brocho.

We just felt it was pretty rude. Exploding anger

ClaRivka

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 8:24 am

I would b totally uncomfortable taking my shoes off at someone else's house if I didnt have slippers to put on.
And I would never bother someone to take their shoes off to come in. (but I dont have a baby crawling on the ground yet)

amother

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 8:40 am

lol... I'm from Toronto so I was totally brought up like this- u NEVER wear shoes in the house. Now- I dont live there anymore but its more comfy for me without shoes and NOONE is allowed to wear shoes on the carpet. (still working on my NY hubbie on that one)
The carpet gets so gross when you walk on them with dirty shoes.

amother

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 9:08 am

lol. I'm from a big family with lots of brothers. house always flying and messy/dirty. (shall we say neglected?!)
when our then canadian future sil came to visit, she was about to remove her shoes, and we told her she dare not, the floors are dirty!!

Annie

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 12:26 pm

I never did this or asked except in Europe, until I had twin boys who spent most of their time on my living room floor, and it was winter time in Chicago, which meant slush and salt was on everyone's shoes. Now we do it, but we don't ask others to do it. Most kids who come visit will do it when they see my kids taking off their shoes. I should have a bunch of slippers or something for people.

For me it was never about the mess, or the clean carpet, just about keeping dangerous things from my babies. Maybe as this baby gets more mobile, or spends more time on the floor I'll be more vigilant about it. If someone asks me if I want them to take their shoes off, I say "only if you're comfortable."

Isramom8

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 12:45 pm

Cultural. My kids have come home from friends' houses (American olim) and told me in shock that no one there wears shoes in the house. I said that some families do that. As far as us, just please don't stand on the kitchen counters with shoes - most of my kids learned this already... (don't worry, I spray the Clorox if they do)

canadamom

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 1:43 pm

Tefila wrote:

B'h
Actually now I have started encouraging people to keep their shoes on but wiping well on the mat 1. I can't take the odour of smelly feet Twisted Evil

2. Perhaps to help me justify it I heard only people in mourning do that.

here it's an accepted practice to take off your shoes (even in the summer) and I have been many times at ppls houses at a meeting etc where I couldnt think straight b/c of the bad smelly feet Mad

btw: I keep a small basket of slippers at my door in the winter...

amother

Wed, Dec 09 2009, 2:35 pm

We have friends who do this. She is Japanese so we assume it is a cultural reason. They have the most amazing collection of fun slippers which they offer their guests so it does not feel like too much of an imposition. I really like tiger slippers personally....

The reason for the anonymity is I believe this friend posts on here and would prefer to remain anonymous.