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Wearing Shoes Indoors - rude to ask to remove shoes?
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Raisin









  


Post  Wed, Dec 09 2009, 6:56 pm
in scandanavia they do it too. hence all the shoe racks ikea sells!
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mums_the_word









  


Post  Wed, Dec 09 2009, 8:24 pm
I don't think I could bring myself to ask people to take off their shoes (have had negative experiences with that in the past, holes in socks, etc.)
but would find it incredibly rude to track mud and snow into someone else's house.
If someone asks me when I come to their house, it's their territory, they can ask what they want
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amother






Post  Wed, Dec 09 2009, 8:52 pm
No, it's not rude. It's YOUR home. I am uncomfortable asking but usually I will. It's rude when people track their muddy/wet shoes throughout your home and don't even have the decency to know to take them off on their own!
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Fox









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 10:21 am
This is one of the most fascinating topics we've had here in a while! It's funny to see such incredible variations in people's practices in an area that isn't really about halacha or hashkafa!

Although I wear shoes in the house, I'll share a humorous story from a few weeks ago:

DH and DD were away at a convention for Shabbos. DD#2 and DD#3 were at a Shabbaton. DS, age 10, and I were alone for Shabbos, so I accepted an invitation from the daughter-in-law of an old friend. Apparently my friend's husband was also away that Shabbos, so they thought it would be fun to get together. Nice, yes?

So I arrived, and I noticed a whole rack of men's, women's, and children's shoes right by the front door. "No problem," I thought, "I'm not rigid about this." I slipped off my shoes, as did my son, and we placed them neatly on the rack. The seuda proceeded, and everyone was having a wonderful time. But when we went to wash, I noticed that DS and I were the only ones not wearing shoes! I was both confused and mortified! What was that rack for if not to hold shoes? And whose shoes were those on the rack?

My relationship with the extended family was close enough that I just asked: "Adina, I feel like an idiot. But did you mean for us to take off our shoes and put them on that rack?" The whole group burst into laughter, and the balabusta said, "Oh, no. We usually wear shoes around the house. I just put a rack there because DH and the kids leave their shoes all over the place, and I don't always feel like taking them upstairs."

Whoops! My bad! Like I said, I've know the extended family forever, so it was more funny than embarrassing -- thank goodness!
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Raisin









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 10:26 am
my dh is so fed up of the morning shoe hunt ritual he makes the kids take off their shoes when they come in the house and leave them in the porch.

One of these days I'll go and buy us a shoe rack.
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Tehilla









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 10:26 am
that is so cute and funny, Fox! thanks for a bright little story for the day. Very Happy
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Tehilla









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 10:28 am
Raisin wrote:
my dh is so fed up of the morning shoe hunt ritual he makes the kids take off their shoes when they come in the house and leave them in the porch.

One of these days I'll go and buy us a shoe rack.


for now I have a drawer for each child dedicated to their shoes (they have 3 pairs each cause my MIL bought an extra fun pair for them). it works...but don't know what I'd do when there are Be"H more kids & shoes to keep track of.

I have a friend who has a bucket/stand thing right by the door.
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amother






Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 10:31 am
Another native Torontonian here- it's a basic given usually to remove your shoes. I think many people do offer slippers to the guests. And certainly the people who live in the house wear the slippers- it's not expected for anyone to walk around in socks, for numerous reasons mentioned here already.
(And yeah, my NY dh also has issues with this!)
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greenfire









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 10:31 am
yes cute & funny foxy woxy ...

but it is torture to search for shoes and that is the best place for them - whether or not you have a rack ... just don't make it a tripping hazard ...
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overthehill









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 10:40 am
amother wrote:
No, it's not rude. It's YOUR home. I am uncomfortable asking but usually I will. It's rude when people track their muddy/wet shoes throughout your home and don't even have the decency to know to take them off on their own!


Yes its YOUR home but wouldnt you want people to be comfortable in your home? Lets say they put on their worst pair of socks with holes in the front, not knowing that you had such a "policy". Would you like to take the risk of embarrasing the visitor by them having to wear "holey socks" or putting them in the position of not wanting to take them off?

I keep a big junky towel in the front when you walk in from a really messy day and people are more than happy to rub their feet on it.
Some people, especially older ones might have difficulty taking on and off boots.
I personally cannot stand it when someone makes me take off my shoes. I provide therapy/services to a child on a weekly basis and the mother makes me take off my shoes as soon as I come in because she doesnt want to clean her carpets often. Her carpets are filthy anyhow. I have to walk around barefoot on her filthy carpets and my clean white socks get filthy. Besides I dont like to plop myself down on her couch afterwards and tie my laced shoes. It makes ME feel uncomfortable.
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chocolate moose









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 11:11 am
I get Athlete's foot pretty easily. I woldn't want to share slippers.
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the world's best mom









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 12:18 pm
I don't get athlete's foot that often, but I still wouldn't want to share slippers. Someone else's sweaty feet were once in there, and I'm not putting them on. I also won't walk barefoot for the same reason- even if everyone takes off their shoes at the door, they're leaving sweaty footprints on the floor. Yuk.
By my in-laws, everyone takes off their shoes at the door, except for me. I do try to leave my own crocs by the door so I can put them on when I come in, but if they're not there I leave my shoes on. I'm sure it bothers my mil, but I don't really care. I also refuse to sit all of my kids down and get all of their shoes off, only to put them back on again five minutes later when they want to go out and play. I dont' think it's very nice to welcome a family in with "Wait! Take off your shoes before you come in!"
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Seraph









  


Post  Thu, Dec 10 2009, 1:01 pm
If you provide slippers, what do people with abnormally large feet do?

I think its rude to ask someone to remove their shoes. If my shoes are muddy, I will wipe them very well before I'd walk in and perhaps offer to take them off myself. If my shoes are wet, I'll ask for a towel to wipe them with.
Walking around on someone else's floor can ruin socks/tights and its not nice to require it of others.
In fact, when people's shoes are off, it bugs me. I even let kids jump on the couch with shoes on so long as they arent muddy...
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levial









  


Post  Fri, Dec 11 2009, 11:30 am
In Cleveland, most people take their shoes off without being asked. I also make sure to have a chair, a junky towel and lots of floor mats, both indoors and out. That way people make a choice (to sit and remove shoes, to wipe, or not.) Most people see my carpet (which we don't have money to replace) that is cream colored and do it automatically. I usually say no, you can help me get a new floor if it looks bad fast!

Must be a snow/carpet/Northern thing?
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amother






Post  Fri, Dec 11 2009, 11:47 am
If you can't afford socks, it's one thing. But as my mother always told me growing up, there's no excuse to walk around with holes in your socks. Do it for yourself, but also to save yourself from the embarassing situation that many of you are so worried about.
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bubs









  


Post  Sat, Dec 12 2009, 10:51 pm
This is one of my pet peeves. My dh is from new york and they never take off their shoes or boots no matter what the weather. I made a simcha in the winter and his parents and aunts, etc. came into my home and the home of my friend who was hosting them, in their snowy boots. I was amazed. They didn't even think about it. They wiped their feet but that doesn't cut it- their boots are still dirty and traipse all the junk in my home. My mil is a neat freak so it amazes me but, as they live in an apartment, by the time they get inside their suite, the mud and slush has melted and been left in the hallway. New Yorkers are generally inconsiderate about these things.
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Mommastuff









  


Post  Mon, Dec 14 2009, 8:42 pm
amother wrote:
If you can't afford socks, it's one thing. But as my mother always told me growing up, there's no excuse to walk around with holes in your socks. Do it for yourself, but also to save yourself from the embarassing situation that many of you are so worried about.


and what if you put on socks with no holes but you get a hole later?? Holes come about some time or another... Confused
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amother






Post  Mon, Dec 14 2009, 8:58 pm
I wish it were the custom here to take off shoes when entering someones home. I would have no problem providing clean socks or slippers for guests. I hate that people come in here with the shoes they wore out in the dirty street and get filth and germs all over the floors my babies crawl on and children sit and play on. Feh! First thing any of us do when we come home is take off our shoes. But I have not gotten up the nerve to tell my guests to remove their shoes as that is NOT the custom here at all.
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chocolate moose









  


Post  Sun, Mar 21 2010, 7:21 pm
bump
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