Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Household Management
I'm just not a housekeeper...



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 17 2009, 7:44 pm
Never was but I thought marriage might change that. Or something. Or maybe I overestimated my husband's potential contribution -- he's very helpful, for a guy, but still it's up to me to make sure everything works the way it should (re. food, cleaning, shopping, laundry, finances, etc)

For a little while after we got married, my mother was doting on us quite a lot -- dinners a couple of times a week, after which I could just raid the fridge for groceries and leftovers. Then beyond that I was all into it, astonished at what I could actually do being that I'd never been into housekeeping before. But it's been about a month of that and I'm already starting to feel burnt out.

It's not like it's too hard for me. I just don't like it. I'm sure this is a common feeling. I need some chizuk here -- how to you keep life spicy when hours of your day is spent on errands and housekeeping? I'm used to more time for intellectual and liesure pursuits (never mind that this is squeezed in between work and school)

Asking DH for more help is not the answer. He's already quite helpful given how hard he works out of the house too. I really don't mind pulling this weight, I just wish it wasn't so boring and drudgy.
Back to top

BusyBeeMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 17 2009, 7:47 pm
I would love to hear some chizuk too. I'm pretty much in the same place as you, plus two kids, which means more cleaning. I don't enjoy it one bit, and I'd rather be on imamother.
Back to top

chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 17 2009, 7:49 pm
When I moved into a new apt, and things actually got sparky clean, it was a lot more "fun" to do the washing up.
Back to top

ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 17 2009, 8:14 pm
I'm totally with you seeker.
I try to have things delivered to me so that I don't have to do extra errands. (Free pick up and delivery for cleaners, fax in orders with delivery for supermarket, free pharmacy deliveries - including for over the counter items...)
And I also try to do things in advance, so that I am preparing for a short couple of hours once a week, instead of constantly doing the same old thing over and over again.
And I use papergoods, even though I feel guilty about the cost.
Hugs!
Back to top

acccdac




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 17 2009, 8:20 pm
from what I'm getting is you are a homemaker, basically the whole house is up to you, plus you take care of finances, and I'm not sure but it seems like your newly married and kids are not in the picture but that you are not liking this "job" in life.

if I understand correctly here is what I have to say.

First, one way of making you "enjoy" it is to take pride in it.

Second, another way of makign you "enjoy" it, is to realize that you could also be working, and have all this responsibility, you could also be working, taking care of kids and all this responsibility. Sometimes realizing that your side of the grass is greener helps you enjoy your side better.

Third, if you dont "like" it dont let it define you, let your homemaker self be part of who you are but decide to do other stuff with your time.
Back to top

mummiedearest




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 17 2009, 9:13 pm
you just need to get organized. that way it'll take less of your time, so you can still have your intellectual pursuits. once you're used to always cooking, keep a running grocery list. make sure to buy everything for the week so you don't have to go shopping again until next week. shopping should take one hour at a local grocery, probably two hours if you go to a shop rite type place.

everyday maintenance-- if you have a small apartment, the whole thing should really take under two hours to clean for shabbos. to me that means clean counters, swept floor, scrubbed bathroom (tub included), made beds, clutter put away, dishes washed. and if I recall correctly, cooking was included in the two hour shabbos prep when I was newly married. in order to be able to do this, dedicate 15 minutes a day to general cleanup. if you have an unusually large mess, don't include that in the 15 minutes. you'll probably have to do a half hour on those days.

tips for shabbos cleaning-- shpritz up the whole bathroom and let it soak while you do something else. if you let cleaning agents sit for a while they do your scrubbing for you. so you can come back to the bathroom and just give everything a quick wipe rather than getting down on your knees to scrub the bathtub. this works well with counters too. I used to let the bathroom soak while I cleaned up the bedroom.

laundry-- keep more than one hamper. I don't know how you sort your laundry. I used to do just colors and whites and an occasional towel/linen load. now I have color, white, towels, linens, kids, and whatever needs laundering on the main floor (yup, they all go in the machine together. this includes tablecloths, kids clothing, and couch slipcovers to name a few things). so I have a triple laundry sorter in my bedroom, a basket in my son's room, a basket in the bathroom, and a hamper on the main floor in a convenient spot. if you have enough baskets, you'll never have to sort the laundry before washing it. I sort the clean laundry on my couch while I watch my kids. then I pile the neatly folded stacks on the stairs so I can take up an armload whenever I happen to be going up anyway. multitasking seriously cuts down your chore time.

have enough storage space. either buy some bins if you need them or get rid of some junk. getting rid of junk is usually the better thing to do Smile

probably too late for this, but the less furniture you have, the easier housekeeping is. less dusting, and it's easier to sweep/vacuum when you don't have to shove things out of the way.

cooking can be fun, especially if you do it with your husband. try to keep him involved in that.

garbage disposal is the guy's job, in my book.

keep a nice supply of cleaning stuff. buy them on sale. you'll use it eventually. and make sure you have a good mop and a sturdy dustpan (preferably a tall one). when you have good supplies, everything's easier to do.

and yes, you need a good attitude about it all. cleaning a house is a huge accomplishment. it really does involve using your brain.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Household Management

Related Topics Replies Last Post
How do you find a nanny/housekeeper? Please help me!
by amother
6 Tue, Jan 23 2024, 3:08 pm View last post
My housekeeper stole dd seminary camera
by amother
25 Sun, Aug 27 2023, 12:35 am View last post
Are you having your housekeeper on the nine days
by amother
12 Wed, Jul 19 2023, 1:50 am View last post
Nanny/housekeeper from rock a bye
by ctgal20
3 Sun, Apr 16 2023, 4:49 pm View last post