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Bedtime troubles!!!

 
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momtomany




 
 
 


Post  Mon, May 22 2006, 7:18 pm
I am going crazy!
Bedtime is just getting tooo difficult in my house.
first of all I usually sing my twin boys a few songs at bedtime to get them relaxed, but lately I find that while I am singing they are busy talking, giggling, jumping around. they are getting older, and what used to work when they were toddlers doesnt work anymore.
what should I do? continue singing while they talk?
give up the singing entirely?
they love the songs, they just love gigling together even more.
as cute as they are when they plan and scheme together, its also very difficult.
I hate to be too strict with them b/c then one especially cries alot, and cant calm down till I "forgive" him, and come back to comfort him.
I usually end up yelling, and threatening, then going back to give the kisses, and lie down together, and hold hands, etc. and it takes forever.
is it normal to take so long to calm down?
any suggestions for calm down rituals?
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micki




 
 
 


Post  Mon, May 22 2006, 7:29 pm
how old are they? for 2 -3 yr olds, this works.
start with a bath (if needed) then pj's
keep the room neat, lights low.
read to them 3 books, the same ones every night.
tuck them in, close the lights, say shema and sing to them 1 song. kiss gnihght
close lights leave room.
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morningstar




 
 
 


Post  Mon, May 22 2006, 7:31 pm
Sounds like it is definitely time for an update in the routine.
I would not give up the songs entirely, because it seems like they bring you and the children a great deal of pleasure, but they are not setting the proper mood for bed-time, though it sounds like they would be a great part of a wake-up routine!!!
Perhaps a bedtime story would provide more incentive for them to settle down, especially if you use a low voice.
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goldrose




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 23 2006, 10:16 am
micki wrote:
how old are they? for 2 -3 yr olds, this works.
start with a bath (if needed) then pj's
keep the room neat, lights low.
read to them 3 books, the same ones every night.
tuck them in, close the lights, say shema and sing to them 1 song. kiss gnihght
close lights leave room.


micki, sounds really lovely you know! but what about questions? kids have TONS of them, and they have TONS of things they *need* to tell you! AND they need a drink, need to use the bathroom (again), got uncovered, are scared etc etc....they're not machines, b"h!
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momtomany




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 23 2006, 7:45 pm
thanks for your replies.
tonight I tried reading them a book, saying shema with them on my lap in a rocking chair, (they like it better that way) and letting them look at books for 5 min. with the lights on. no singing.
that worked great, they were so calm, though during the book reading they kept on adding their comments on every page. I guess my boys just like to talk alot, anyone else have that?

well after 5 minutes I came back and closed the lights. my son wanted a song so we agreed to sing 2 songs (out of the usual 7) as long as he doesnt make a peep the whole time I sing. he peeped once so I gave a warning then he did it again, so I stopped mid-song, and left the room. he cried hysterically as I thought he would.
so then I had the idea to close the door a few inches each time he talks or cries. it took a couple of times till he calmed down.
I ended up sitting next to him for 5 minutes holding his hand.
(notice the whole time I am refferring to only one boy, the other is so easy going and calm. never cries or makes trouble at bedtime unless his brother tells him to.)

well I think that was quickest I have ever put them to sleep in a long time!!
it probably took only 20-25 minutes. (not counting putting pjs)

we'll see how it goes tomorrow.
thanks for being here, and listening.
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Tefila




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 23 2006, 7:51 pm
Quote:
notice the whole time I am refferring to only one boy, the other is so easy going and calm. never cries or makes trouble at bedtime unless his brother tells him to

Very interesting is he the younger twin, you see though mine r just under two my son the older twin is easy going calm happy etc. Whereas my dd the younger twin, when she is happy she is exhuberant but when she is upset she is hysterical I have to literally stroke her and hold her untill she calms down Confused
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momtomany




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 23 2006, 8:00 pm
sounds the same! except the calm one is the younger one.
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momtomany




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jun 19 2006, 8:16 pm
aaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

my kids are jumping and running all over the place.
they are just not tired and its almost 8:30!!!!!
how do I get them to settle down?
I've read stories already, put on the music, turned off the music as a punishment for jumping on their beds. closed the door to their room. what else is there?
they are currently playing with blocks as I type this... Mad
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Health is a Virture




 
 
 


Post  Tue, May 15 2007, 3:20 pm
when all else fails and it is possible to get them calm, I throw them in the stroller and go for a walk...they're out in a jiffy. At some point though this stopped working with my older son when he was about 4 :-).

Every so often we have to change the way bedtime works. Where is your dh? Can he put one to bed while you do the other? You can have one lie down in your bed, the other in his bed (rotating nights) and stand in the middle why you read or sing.

Make sure the kids are active enough during the day, and they don't eat anythign that is stimulating at aall during day, or too close to bed (depending on child)

You might want to put one to sleep while the other one plays quietly in another room and then do the second one.

What I find helpful is that when children start to get silly it means that they just don't know what to do with themselves. The stroy or song is not relaxing them and now what? Come on, you never get overtired too? Or, the song or story is relaxing them and they are afraid of going to sleep. Don't worry, tonight was horrid with all 3 overtired, and definitely a lot of yelling (that I of course regret.)

The worst thing to do is threaten or scream...this does absolutely nothing! First rule of thumb is thinking along the lines of 2 hours for bedtime :_)....when I am trying out a new method, I ignore the clock. It doesn't matter if it takes till 9 or 10 for them to fall asleep, the key is to get them used to this new schedule.

and then wake them up (depending on child if this is the right thing),a nd trying to be consistant with naps and waking them up from naps, etc. again, some children do worse if they are lacking sleep, so you have to figure it out.

what are the ages of the twins? But, you might want to start a sticker chart for each of them and if they cooperate, like are quiet during story time, then they can have a sticker.

I am thinking that maybe, you should first put the easier child to sleep while the harder one plays quietly in another room...giving that child special "special" time, and then give the other one "special" time.

Very importatn is consistancy (depeding on child....some children need slight variations) and stay on schedule, at least until they get used to the new routine.

You can tell them an interesting stories. First story, you can tell them they can ask questions, but then tell them a very long and drawn out story. I repeat over and over that it's okay to fall asleep because I can always tell the story again the next day. Tonight when my kids were so hyper I couldn't get them to calm down, I put my 3 year old to sleep while my 5 year old was playing in his room with a "special" toy, and she just couldn't calm down, so I went through her body to relax this, relax this, she calmed down. And then again, an hour later same thing had to be repated with my 5 year old bec. nothing else was working (singing, story, etc.)---to my 5 year old after reading suitable stories, I read to him from an adult book, and when he was 3, I would read to him from like a fifth grade reading level :-)...understands a little to keep him interested, but boring enough to put him to sleep :-).

My baby at a year and a half, I put in the crib (and she rarely even sleeps in it), and I sang while I straightened up in my room. She would lie down and was kvetchy, but not really crying, but finally, after like 10-15 minutes? I took her out and nursed her to sleep (she was so hyper she couldn't even do that before!)

Next time, I take my kids to the playground even when they are tired!! Best thing is really to just physically exhaust them :-)

THE NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION is a great book...think she wrote a book for older kids too....gr8 solutions!
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