Longest Serving 'Agunah' Finally Breaks Free After 48 Years

Ima2NYM_LTR

Thu, Feb 18 2010, 9:36 pm

http://www.vosizneias.com/4971.....years

Tel Aviv, Israel - Susan Zinkin divorced her husband in 1962 but was forbidden from looking for new love for almost 50 years. Only when he died an old man this week was she released from being a "chained wife" under Jewish law.
Ms Zinkin, 73, a retired Orthodox Jewish teacher from north London, divorced Israel Errol Elias in Britain's civil courts 48 years ago but she was never able to obtain a Jewish divorce (known as a "get") from him. And yesterday she spoke of her relief at finally being freed from her status as the world's longest-serving "chained wife".
"As awful as it may sound my ex-husband's death is a great relief and a huge weight off my shoulders – to be stuck like that was so cruel," she said yesterday in an interview with The Independent. "I'm quite convinced that had the rabbis wanted to get their act together they could have done something within Jewish law and found a solution."
She had made repeated attempts to get her former husband to grant her a Jewish divorce, which would have allowed her to remarry. She, and many others, even resorted to regular protests outside his house in Golders Green, north London, in a bid to publicly shame him into granting her a religiously sanctioned separation, but the protests only seemed to strengthen his resolve.
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But despite widespread public outcry, her "agunah" (literally "chained") status remained in force until earlier this week when Mr Elias, 86, died.
Speaking from her home in Kfar Saba, near Tel Aviv, Ms Zinkin called on Britain's network of beth dins (Jewish courts) to do more to help chained women and to speak out against husbands who refuse to grant divorces. "The Jewish religious authorities come together to talk about and solve all sorts of religious and social problems but they never seem to get around to discussing [agunahs]," she said. "It is time they did."
Under halakha (Jewish law) only men have the power to grant a get. Women who cannot persuade their husbands to free them from marriage become known as "agunahs" or chained wives. Although they are legally divorced under British law, chained wives (particularly those within Orthodox and Ultra-Orthodox Jewish communities) often find themselves ostracised if they dare to remarry or speak out.
Ms Zinkin, who describes herself as "mainstream Orthodox", said she felt unable to find a new husband because, without a get from her first partner, any new marriage would be considered unlawful by the wider community. Her children – and any of her future offspring – would also be shunned as mamzers, a halakhic term to describe the offspring of adulterous or incestuous relationships. "That's a terrible stigma for the child," she explained. "They're illegitimate for Jewish purposes and I just couldn't do that to any child of mine. Even Jews who aren't very religious wouldn't necessarily want to marry someone and have children born with mamzer status."
Attempts by rabbinical authorities to tackle recalcitrant husbands has been met with varying degrees of success. Rabbis from the Liberal and Reform schools of Judaism will often issue gets to women if a husband refuses three times, but the more orthodox branches are notoriously reluctant to intervene, believing that any sort of coercion would invalidate the get.
In the United States, some Orthodox rabbis have encouraged the use of pre-nuptial agreements which financially penalise a stubborn husband. Jewish courts in Israel have even gone as far as placing intractable husbands in prison until they grant a get. But campaigners say the Orthodox beth din courts in Britain have been much slower to look for solutions.
"It's a very frustrating process," says Sandra Blackman, a co-founder of the Agunot Campaign who regularly used to protest outside Mr Elias's house alongside Ms Zinkin. "We need the Orthodox beth dins to be courageous and recognise the appalling injustices that are being carried out by some husbands. Other countries have found solutions but people seem afraid to implement them here."
One academic hoping to find a way out of the impasse is Professor Bernard Jackson, an expert in Jewish law who until last year was head of the Agunah Research Unit at the University of Manchester. Last summer he published proposals which offered courts viable alternatives that still conformed to Jewish law, including the promotion of pre-nuptials, provisional gets that would be issued in advance of marriage, and the retrospective annulment of a marriage by a rabbi. The response from the Orthodox community has been limited.
"I can only say that meetings have been initiated, and there clearly is some willingness to look at our work and discuss it with us," he said. "The problem is that batei din are generally reluctant to go out on a limb alone, for fear of appearing 'divisive'. They are looking either for a consensus or for a lead from the greatest rabbinic scholars of the generation."
Hopes for such a lead were dashed in 2006 when an international conference to discuss agunahs was called off by Israel's chief rabbi, Shlomo Amar, just five days before it was due to begin. It was widely reported in Israel that pressure from the Ultra-Orthodox community led to the cancellation.
"I'm convinced there is a way," said Ms Zinkin. "We need to get all the rabbis together to reach some sort of consensus on how to solve this problem within Jewish law."
Until rabbis take a stand, there is little that chained women can do, other than resort to public protests in a bid to shame their former husbands. "I just hit a brick wall and there didn't seem to be anything I could do," she recalled. "I knew I just had to carry on with my life and try to forget about it."
Few women dare to speak out about their agunah status for fear of reducing their chances of ever obtaining a get, or because they are worried about how the community might react to such public criticism. Ms Zinkin did speak out. By the end of the 1990s she was approached by a small group of Jewish women who, like her, had either been or still were chained women. The first the mainstream press in Britain heard about agunahs was when a devoted band of Jewish women bewildered north London motorists with regular protests outside Mr Elias's home in Golders Green, calling on him to free his wife. Week after week they met outside his home but Mr Elias dug his heels in. The public coverage of the protests did, however, spur the rabbinical authorities into trying to persuade Mr Elias.
"Prior to [those protests] the Jewish authorities hadn't even been prepared to make a phonecall or approach him in any way," she said. "Whenever I approached Jewish judges they just said they couldn't do anything. So the protests might not have worked in my case, but they did with others."
The demonstrations also thrust the issue firmly into the wider public's consciousness: "People just didn't realise that this sort of thing can drag on for so many years. When I told people what had happened they were absolutely stunned that you can be an agunah in Britain for more than 40 years. I just hope I'm the last of a long line of agunahs."
For the meantime, Ms Zinkin is happy just to reflect on the fact that – for the first time in nearly five decades – she is officially free. "I suppose it is a bit of a record but it's not exactly one I'm proud to hold," she said. "I'm just glad it's finally over. I feel a great sense of relief, but also sadness because it was all so unnecessary. I just hope that other men will think twice about the enormous distress they can cause by not granting their wife a get."

gold21

Thu, Feb 18 2010, 9:44 pm

sounds like a sickening perverted evil ex-husband. I dont see how she didnt just go off the derech and forget the whole thing if the rabbis didnt work hard enough to help her.

Raisin

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 6:43 am

my goodness, she has been seperated since she was 25! shock

what a sad sad story. I'd like to think that it is easier now to aquire a get then it used to be - people are more aware and I know there are people who specialise in persuading evil husbands.

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

shalhevet

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 6:55 am

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

It's not theoretically possible. If a woman is unable to accept a get/ disappears/ is physically or mentally ill/ refuses to accept a get under what rabbonim consider unreasonable circumstances, the man can get a heter 100 rabbonim - which technically means he's married to both women.

Ruchel

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 7:21 am

shalhevet wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

But in practice it can be impossible to find these 100 heterim. I know (of) male agunim (?).

50 years and started so young and she's still frum... kol hakavod.

Raisin

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 7:24 am

shalhevet wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

I don't think I've heard of a man who had to get the 100 signatures. It rarely seems to go that far.

ora_43

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 7:27 am

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

In Israel at least, there are actually slightly more men whose wives refuse to accept a grant than women whose husbands refuse to grant one.

But it's not the same. Even if a man doesn't have permission to remarry, if he starts a new relationship it's not an aveira of arayot, and if he has children with another woman they aren't mamzerim.

Sherri

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 7:59 am

Raisin wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

I don't think I've heard of a man who had to get the 100 signatures. It rarely seems to go that far.

O know of at least one, and I think a second.

louche

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 9:36 am

Ruchel wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

But in practice it can be impossible to find these 100 heterim. I know (of) male agunim (?).

Doesn't matter, because bigamy is not adultery under Jewish law and any children of such a union are not mamzerim. There may be problems with civil courts if they didn't have a civil divorce (is "civil divorce" an oxymoron? Usually.) but under Jewish law the children of a bigamous marriage are 100% legit.

BeershevaBubby

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 9:39 am

Sorry, but I think the title "Finally Breaks Free" is misleading... the guy died! It's not like he finally gave her a Get.

shalhevet

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 9:41 am

louche wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

But in practice it can be impossible to find these 100 heterim. I know (of) male agunim (?).

Of course it matters - he is breaking cherem d'Rabbeinu Gershom - pretty serious stuff, ya know.

freidasima

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 9:42 am

There ARE agunim.
Getting a heter 100 rabbonim these days costs over $100,000
most won't sign unless they got paid.
I know two men who got it. One paid half a million (shekel). The other had protektzia.
The whole beit din system today is a travesty of what Jewish law was supposed to be all about.

Raisin

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 9:56 am

shalhevet wrote:

louche wrote:

Ruchel wrote:

shalhevet wrote:

Raisin wrote:

Funny how you never hear of male agunas, although it is theoretically possible. I guess women are just nicer people.

But in practice it can be impossible to find these 100 heterim. I know (of) male agunim (?).

Of course it matters - he is breaking cherem d'Rabbeinu Gershom - pretty serious stuff, ya know.

any really frum or even traditional guy who wants to get remarried will care about it, or a guy who wants to be socially accepted within the frum community. If he is not frum at all, then I doubt he will care either way.

FS, what about a guy who legitamely needs the heter eg his wife disappears or whatever. Will he find it easy to get the signatures?

mominlkwd

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 10:07 am

gold21 wrote:

I dont see how she didnt just go off the derech and forget the whole thing if the rabbis didnt work hard enough to help her.

I agree. This is such a sad situation. I am amazed that she stayed frum and didn't sound bitter about what she went through. We can all learn something from how she handled this horrible situation. B"H I don't know any agunahs, however I do know that husbands often hold child support etc. over the wives head to get what they want before they will give a get.

I know that when my sister got married recently they had her husband sign that if Ch"v they would divorce he would have to pay her a certain amount until he gave her a get. The Rav refused to marry them unless they agreed to sign it. Even though that puts a bit of a damper on the wedding atmosphere I think it's a great idea.

Mama Bear

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 11:20 am

I know of sevreal people who got Heter Meah Rabbanim. Most of them had wives who were medically/psychotically incapable of accepting a get. Only in one or two cases is it where the woman refuses to accept a get for wahtever vindictive or financial reasons.

mirror

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 12:33 pm

I know of a case where a man held his first wife an aguna for two years. The Rabbi involved with the Get the first time made every effort humanly possible to stop this man from getting married a second time. Believe it or not, there are Rabbonim who do care.

Last edited by mirror on Thu, Dec 31 2015, 2:08 pm; edited 1 time in total

kollel wife

Fri, Feb 19 2010, 12:40 pm

I know of one situation where there was a heter from 100 rabbonim. I think Rabbi Peretz Steinberg (Queens) is very involved in these things and may have been involved in the heter I know of.

HindaRochel

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 11:38 am

freidasima wrote:

I agree with that.
Men who can make trouble do so, with impunity.

I have ideas, but I don't know if they would work, and they are probably not doable outside of Israel.

Short of beating some men up till they cry "I WANT TO..." what else can we do?

freidasima

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 12:41 pm

Raisin, Mamabear is right. I know a case where a man's young wife suddenly became insane and then a vegetable. Turned out she had a horrible disease that no one knew about except her parents, and the poor guy married her not knowing. A few months later she was no longer able to accept a get. It took him two years but the rabbonim here in EY were understanding as they heard from her doctors that this was irreversable and she could remain a vegetable for years before dying (which she did about 10 years later actually) and so he got the heter. It did cost him money but nowhere near $100,000

OTOH in cases where the wife is vindictive and the court has granted her all the money she wants and she STILL won't accept the get, the rabbonim insist on getting paid. The full sum mentioned above.

You need "mazel" in this case as well unfortunately.

Ruchel

Sat, Feb 20 2010, 1:50 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

The nature of a man is to have an ego - to be obsessed with self.

sorry, but you don't know the right guys...