Child with adhd
Previous  1, 2
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

View latest: 24h 48h 72h



Post  Fri, Jun 23 2006, 2:37 pm
to anonymous about saying this has to do with hte parents, that is so fundamentally wrong. he has a neurological disoreder as explaied by all of his therapist. they have clearly stated that he was born like this and they beoeive we are extremely dedicated parents. as he has seen some others and it was bad. for all those all would like to blame parents, this is just an ignorant comment. I do see his pschologist weekly and I speak with the pshychiatrist at lenth in person and on the phone. this is a DISORDER this is not what parents give thier children. so I would appreicate if you did not hurt me with ignorant comments. this has been a hellish road and comments such as yours are what make parents like us want to scream.
thank you for listeining. my son is getting better but he has limitations and I am accepting those.
Back to top



Post  Fri, Jun 23 2006, 2:41 pm
elmofood wrote:
they have clearly stated that he was born like this

Did you notice problems from the very beginning then? Sad
Back to top



Post  Fri, Jun 23 2006, 2:43 pm
elmofood- thats great that he is doing better, kudos to you on this success!!
Back to top



Post  Fri, Jun 23 2006, 2:58 pm
amother wrote:
elmofood, I love your screen name, puts me in a playful mood...
About your ds leaving the fridge open, etc. here's my opinion based on my experience with my ds who has been diagnosed with add, odd, pdd, the list goes on.

elmo - I'm confused

This amother describes a child with at least two of the same diagnoses as your son and she writes that without medication she has worked very hard on how she handles her son and that her psychologist was "the most critical factor" in her son's improvement.

So maybe the answer is no two children (or parents) are the same and what is working for her son might or might not work for yours.

I just don't get it because it sounds like it was hard middos work on the PARENTS' part in the amother's situation, in addition to chinuch guidance, rather than a medical disorder that needs to be handled medically.
Back to top



Post  Fri, Jun 23 2006, 4:11 pm
There are certainly behaviours in any child which we can work on and responses on our own part which we can improve and change. However, in children with neurologically- or endoctrinologically- or chemically-based issues, there will still be behaviours or patterns which no amount of middos improvement or response change on our behalf or the child's will change.

My son does have add and behaviour issues. His brain is malformed as are other parts of his neurologic systems (in his case I am not just assuming this, the nerves and brain are abnormal and we have pictures and other evidence) and his endocrine system. He has a chromosome deletion as well. We do work on not getting angry with him about his impulse control problems, and responding to him and teaching him as he needs not just we we wish he needed. He still benefits from medication (we can tell if he has not had it), special education, and special responses. No amount of training will make his brain have the missing tissues or his endocrine system produce the right hormones, though, no matter how much we might wish it.

Please don't insist that every child with adhd just needs "better" parenting and middos training; nor should anyone insist that every child with behaviour or impulse control issues needs medication or psychiatric treatment. Every child is different, every situation requires appropriate action. Pathologies do exist, OTOH not every child has one and not every situation is a pathology.
Back to top



Post  Fri, Jun 23 2006, 4:12 pm
I'm the amother who claims the most critical factor has been in modifying my discipline techniques, having weekly sessions with ds's psychologist, etc.
In defense of elmofood and her daily stuggles with her child, I want to reiterate what Motek has stated, that no two children are alike. There are children with mild symptoms and then there are those with severe symptoms. I would hate to minimize the tremendous challenge that elmofood has been granted by the Ribono Shel Olam. Elmo, keep up your hard work, remember to take time for yourself, and may you see lots of yidishe nachas!
I cannot compare my child to yours, as I haven't seen yours in action. My child has also been to psychiatric visits, been on meds, etc. I used to view my ds's condition as a mental/physiological disorder. Until I came across this book, "Should I Medicate My Child?" by Lawrence H. Diller M.D.
And I learned that there was much that I as a parent could do to help matters. It's good, informative reading.
Then again, my ds may be on the milder end of the spectrum.
My ds takes the Shaklee protein shake among other good nutritional support products and I believe these are helpful. In fact, there's a noticeable difference in terms of hyperactivity when he's off them, as sometimes happens, (when I'm just not in the mood of reminding him to take them)
There is a post somewhere on natachews, where Tulips writes about the impressive standards of Shaklee, and I am glad I'm giving my ds good stuff.
And btw, never mind......well, maybe I should mention it.... so here goes: If I take my ds to a psychiatrist (which I had done), I'm essentially asking the psychiatrist to provide a diagnosis and a cure. I'm coming to the psychiatrist because I'm looking for help in dealing with the situation. So NATURALLY (or rather unnaturally....) the psychiatrist will prescribe meds so that I can go home and finally be able to DO something about this child of mine. But before a psychiatrist can prescribe meds he/she needs to come up with a diagnosis, which is easy to do. IMHO going to a psychiatrist (for a problem that's difficult enough to warrant a trip to the psychiatrist) will always produce a prescription for meds. The psychiatrist knows you came for relief, and he/she willingly delivers it in the form of a prescription.
I have nothing against a parent choosing to medicate, I do understand there are situations that warrant it, and I believe in being an educated parent. There are no simple answers to the stuggles we encounter in life, and so I believe it's not for anyone to pass judgement on others regarding their choice of treatment for their child. May Hashem Yisborach be "chonen daas" to all of us, and whatever decisions we do make regarding the needs of our children and family and ourselves should be with hatzlacha!
Back to top



Post  Fri, Jun 23 2006, 5:26 pm
amother wrote:
IMHO going to a psychiatrist (for a problem that's difficult enough to warrant a trip to the psychiatrist) will always produce a prescription for meds. The psychiatrist knows you came for relief, and he/she willingly delivers it in the form of a prescription.


Quite damning of the psychiatric profession!

And do surgeons always recommend cutting? (I think they're more likely to!)

Is this true, do you think, for all doctors, whatever their specialty - that if you come to consult with them, they will never send you home and tell you you've come to the wrong place?

One would expect that doctors would be honest and if they don't think a situation warrants a medical diagnosis and medical intervention, they would say so! Naive me!

But if what you say is true, oh boy! Scary!
Back to top



Post  Sun, Jun 25 2006, 12:43 am
Oh Motek...
This is in response to your previous post/reply.
May the One Above spare you the heartache and challenge and turmoil of having a child as Elmofood and Elisecohen have described. May he spare us all! It is a challenge no outsider can begin to comprehend; and would be wise to refrain from making judgments about parents' choice of treatment/intervention.
Of course there are children, and adults for that matter, who are being overmedicated, undermedicated, and mismedicated. But the parents mean well, they are doing the best they can with the tools they've got.
Let us offer them support and empathy for the struggles they endure daily!
I've a dear friend who has an ill child r''l. At times she is confronted with treatment options etc. and asks me for my uneducated opinion. And this is what I usually tell her, " How can I offer you an opinion when I'm not the one experiencing the daily hardships of caring for this child, when I'm not the one who's depleted to the level that you are, when I'm not struggling with all the emotional turmoil that is exclusively yours! I can help you by being here as you talk about all the options, how you feel about each of them, and support you in either way."
May the One Above protect us and guide us....
Back to top



Post  Sun, Jun 25 2006, 12:59 am
elisecohen, excelent response, thank you. Amother who thinks all psychiatrists medicate- this is not true.The first time I took ds he didn't medicate, suggested other behavioral things & examining the foods he ate. It was only maybe 2 yrs later that we did medicate.I think I had mentioneed before that my ds is 17 & he knows when he needs the meds when he wakes upin the am. He doesn't take it everyday.He is very intuned to his body.
Back to top



Post  Sun, Jun 25 2006, 12:34 pm
What did Motek say that was so offensive (this time ;-) )?
Back to top



Post  Mon, Jun 26 2006, 12:29 am
Crayon, it was supposed to be "Oy, Motek....." It's kind of a collaborative sigh for the hardships we witness in other people's lives, as they present on this forum.....
Amother above, a psychiatrist who recommends behavioral interventions -woohoo, you've come to the right place over there all right! I'm assuming you gave no indication of frustration or otherwise looking for a quick fix. It's just an assumption.
Back to top



Post  Mon, Jun 26 2006, 12:30 am
thank you elise for explaining that. it is so easy for others to blame parents, environment, etc. this is just pure ignorance in my opinion. my son's school was so negative about his issues. they continually blame my husband and I for all the problems. I have left no stone unturned to help my son. however there are times when all you want to do is just not think about problems and relax a little. I rarely get that because there is always something going on with him. I wish people were more tolerant or understandeing of children with various issues. also has anyone applied and been approve for ssi for a diagnosis of add or adhd?
Back to top



Post  Tue, Jun 27 2006, 12:51 am
Elmofood, I have applied for ssi for my child and been approved as well. It could take about 4-6 months from the day you apply. So fill out an application pronto and I'll pm you with further details. The money is such a huuuuge help, as I use it to pay a high school girl to come over a few times a week. I also use part of the money for recreation for my child, for ex. swimming, keyboard lessons, various arts & crafts, toys. I also use part of it to pay for behavior management by child's psychologist. What a helpful resource!
Back to top
Previous  1, 2 Recent Topics

Page 2 of 2 View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Do I take child to a psychiatrist or a neurologist for ADHD?
by amother
5 Yesterday at 11:09 am View last post
Do you have experience with a child on Lamictal?
by amother
4 Tue, May 19 2020, 11:37 am View last post
My child has all the symptoms
by amother
18 Thu, May 14 2020, 11:31 pm View last post
ADHD - new to this - please help me :)
by LO
21 Tue, May 12 2020, 7:06 pm View last post
Online resource for painfully shy child
by amother
4 Mon, May 11 2020, 7:26 am View last post

Jump to: