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Becoming a SAHM

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amother

Fri, Apr 23 2010, 1:22 pm

next year I will be able to be a SAHM and I wanted to make sure I use the year wisely so I wanted to ask for tips.

I feel the need to cut $100 a month from our budget. what are some simple ways that I could cut costs?

I also want to strive to be the best possible homemaker. Do you have any tips to help me out with this? Should big jobs be spread out over a few days or dedicate one day towards it? Is it important to keep a daily schedule (if so can you give me a sample schedule)? its it important to make sure I eat 3 meals a day or that's just a plus? how about exercise?

chocolate moose

Fri, Apr 23 2010, 1:37 pm

amother wrote:

I feel the need to cut $100 a month from our budget. what are some simple ways that I could cut costs?

Buying less take out/frozen/prepared foods and making more yourself.

amother wrote:

Should big jobs be spread out over a few days or dedicate one day towards it?

That's up to you.

amother wrote:

Is it important to keep a daily schedule (if so can you give me a sample schedule)?

Well ... who are you going to have at h ome? Whose schedule do you have to work around ?

amother wrote:

its it important to make sure I eat 3 meals a day or that's just a plus?

Is this a joke? Do you expect your car to run without gasoline ?

amother wrote:

how about exercise?

Well, how about it - are you going to be out walking with the stroller, or do you want to take an exercise class? Exercise is social too.

amother

Fri, Apr 23 2010, 1:47 pm

OP here

chocolate moose,

to answer your questions, I will have a baby home with me (right now 2 months old), I will be working around her schedule of naps of food, but other than that, do I schedule in shopping same time every week or it doesnt matter? schedule in trips? etc

and about the food I'm not joking, I usually live off of breakfast and dinner, I remember one of the first times my husband stayed home from work and I was going to work that day and it was 11:30 and he was like, "whats for lunch", and I was like "umm nothing", I realized then that in his head he things I have a gourmet lunch (or at least not a PB sandwich like him) everyday, when in reality I'm lucky if I remember to grab a string cheese for lunch.

I guess maybe I'll change my exercise question a bit, because I guess you can fit exercise into your life easily by walking verse driving everywhere, so my question is, are you better off using the 2 hours between naps to walk and do one errand so you accomplish 2 things at once (exercise and errands) or drive so you can get more done in that hour? maybe the answer is a personal preference, but what is your (or any other poster's) opinion?

saw50st8

Fri, Apr 23 2010, 2:58 pm

The routine thing is up to you.

Do you like routines better than flexibility?

I was a SAHP for 6 months on maternity leave. I liked to do one big chore in the morning and a few little ones. Then devote a lot of time to play/park. Then another big chore in the afternoon. Plus doing little things all day long.

zigi

Fri, Apr 23 2010, 3:52 pm

if your baby will nap in the stroller while you are out you don't have to run home for her to sleep.

for me it works out that some days I'm at home and the other days I go to a shuir and then do grocery shopping.

if you have a washing machine it might be good to do one load a day. then its easier to put it away.

walking vs driving it depends are things close to each other. driving also wastes time looking for parking if you are in the city. but its good if you are going to do a big shopping and you can't get it delivered.

do you only have a baby at home? it will depend how much cleaning that you need to do.

happymom

Sat, Apr 24 2010, 9:37 pm

I like having a schedule with does change according to nmy babies schedule because different ages have diff sleeping and eaitn schedules. I wake up at six to excersize before my husband leaves to shul and then shower and get dressed. (unless I went to bed way too late then I do it with my baby watching me or napping hile my kids are in school) then in my babues first nap I clean the house and do whatever I can (laundry, dishes, phone calls, daven etc..) I make sure to eat three meals and two snacks a day. I try and go to bed early so I have engery to work out and I pick up my three year old from school at twelve and so things with him from twelve to 2 (like the park, lunch with a friend, library, food shopping...) then at home he loves helping me with dinner, and I give him jobs like drying the lettuce, stirring the meat, he loves it... on wednesdays we make challah and sometimes cookies... then my daughter comes home at three and we play till my husband gets home then its bath and bed time.....

thats basically my day... ive been home since I had my first, five years. the most important advice I have is to keep in mind why you are dong it. then you will have some hard days and some days you feel you are doing nothing and maybe should be working BUT if you realize what you are doing is so good for your child. and you make sure to create positive memories, laugh with your kids, have fun with them and even when chores dont get done, remember that you are home to be with your child. the other things can wait.. (unfortunately they arent running away... this is what helps me keep going.

goodluck!!

curlyhead

Sun, Apr 25 2010, 12:36 am

If your a SAHM you have more time to shop around for the cheapest prices and more time to prepare food which is cheeper then prepared foods and take out.

Schedule. Depends on how many kids you have and their ages. My toddler sleeps in the morning so I do my housework then and schedule appointments, shopping, and errands in the afternoons.

Exercise if you want to walk go with a friend as then you have to go.

OF course 3 meals a day is a must. Does not have to be anything fancy a sandwich or a bowl of soup reheated in microwave is perfect for lunch.

chocolate moose

Sun, Apr 25 2010, 1:39 pm

Is there a reason that you're taking a whole year off? You won't get social security if you aren't getting a salary. Also, your life insurance status might change. It's a huge gap in your resume, also.

gryp

Sun, Apr 25 2010, 2:03 pm

I guess I'm the only one whose babies change schedule so often, I make to-do lists for the week, not for the day.

curlyhead

Sun, Apr 25 2010, 4:29 pm

GR - I find once they are 8 months they could go on schedule. It makes life so much easier and it is good for the babies/toddlers. It does not always work. Before 8 months - forget it.

amother

Mon, Apr 26 2010, 11:47 pm

OP here.

thanks everyone for your comments.

happymom, I use to do exercise at 6am also, I think I might start that up again as soon as her sleeping gets a bit more regulated, she's almost there just needs another few days, 2 weeks top (hopefully G-d willing).

I now feel more confident that I can do what I need to do and make the best of the time and not waste it.

and chocolate moose to answer your question....

chocolate moose wrote:

I took off a year with my last one and it was amazing, and I want that for this child also. During the first year things change and develop so fast and often that I dont want to miss it and I dont want someone else deciding things for my child. Thank G-d we can basically make it financially without me working. I dont make that much money that it makes a difference for social security (assuming the government still has money by the time I qualify), I am being paid way less than I should be making. I get no benefits from my job so I'm not loosing anything like that. And resume wise I'm not worried. I have a pretty strong resume and I have no problem saying straight out that I didnt work because I felt that I needed to do what was in the best interest of my child and I took a year off. That is who I am so if it doesnt allow me to get a job then the job probably wouldnt be a good fit either way (in the sense of they probably wouldnt be happy if I called in sick cause my kid needs to go to the doctor) Thanks for bringing it up, most people tend to look at one aspect of their lives and not from all angles, so thanks for the double checking

chocolate moose

Tue, Apr 27 2010, 11:14 am

it's not only a hole in your resume, your potential employer knows the exact age of your child. It really could work against you.

JollyMommy

Tue, May 04 2010, 10:14 pm

when you go from working full time to SAHM like I did, you are used to schedules. it is a big adjustment to own your own time. I am still getting my groove with this, but my quality of life is so much better and our home functions so much better it is unbelievable. you are giving yourself and your family a tremendous gift.

I walk everywhere- I am becoming well known because I really get around. I put the baby in his stroller and do as many errands as possible, up to 2 miles away. this will keep you happy and fit.

a typical day is:

7 am- 9 am get everyone ready including myself, feed kids breakfast
9 am- I drive older kid to school. I often eat in the car to be honest, breakfast for me is usually a health bar and diet snapple. if I don't have time even for that, then when I come home I make oatmeal for myself.
the baby almost always falls asleep in the car with a bottle.
9:30 am- baby is still asleep, I straighten up. I am lucky to have a housekeeper 4 days a week, so she does heavy cleaning and laundry, but if I didn't I would do everything during this time. 2 days a week I have a boot camp I go to, otherwise I putter around, read, get dinner ready, make phone calls, go on internet and daven.
10:30 am- boot camp is over on the days I go, and I take a shower and get ready
11:00 am- baby wakes up I feed him brunch and we go out with the stroller. I shop 2x a week for food, the other days we are lucky enough to go to the park, duck pond, kid's gym or bookstore
12:30 pm- 3x a week I pick up my other kid this time, otherwise I stay out longer with the baby.
12:45 pm- bring other kid home, he eats at school but very little so I make lunch for everyone. lunch is any combo of the following (obviously separate meat and milk): cold cuts, pita, yogurt, cheese, corn, bananas, oranges, melon, pasta, beans, pizza, guacamole, matza ball soup. my older kid is the type that likes a lot of little portions in those plates that have sections so I put a little in each and he's happy. my baby is old enough to eat the same things just cut up very small. I eat what they eat but bigger portions Smile

1:00 pm- we all go out together, often the park, library, mall playground... I try to do free things 4 days a week and I'll spend on entertainment 1x a week and do a kid's playground
3:00 pm- we're home, kids have a snack- bamba, peanut butter pretzels, fruit cups. kids play outside with housekeeper watching or on days she's not here they play on the floor in the kitchen. I make dinner.
4:00 pm- I play with them and read with them.
5:00 pm- we eat dinner whether DH is home or not- usually he is except in busy seasons.
6:00 pm- bathe the baby while older kid plays
6:15 pm- offer baby food one more time, usually he eats but not always and put him to sleep by 6:30
6:30 pm- bathe older kid and DH plays with him
7:30 pm- lights out for older kid

so, if you don't have help then the morning is still your main time slot to clean up.

I find I spend a lot LESS than when I worked because taking care of kids takes up a lot of time. you have to find free things for you to do with your baby/kids that you all like.

a way to save money is by making menus in the beginning of the week and shopping only 1x or 2x a week. you'll have more time to figure out which places have the best prices and go there. I find that making the same scheduled dinners for a few weeks makes things cheaper.

hopefully you'll love it as much as I do!

Happy Mom

Thu, May 13 2010, 9:14 pm

esteec, I just wanted to how much I enjoyed your post. Your kids are very lucky to have a mother like you who clearly enjoys being with them (you already know how lucky you are, right? Smile

JollyMommy

Sun, May 16 2010, 3:16 am

Happy mom- as a reader of your blog I take that as a huge compliment!

4ofus

Sun, May 16 2010, 8:10 am

GR wrote:

I guess I'm the only one whose babies change schedule so often, I make to-do lists for the week, not for the day.

Nope, not the only one! Smile

Every time I try to make a schedule, something comes up or my 11 month old decides that , nope, that schedule just won't do for him. LOL

I write out a list of things I have to get done on a big dry erase board and every night before I go to sleep I plan out the next day, including which supper I'll make. If I'm going to be out most of the day so I pack the baby bag the night before.

mummiedearest

Sun, May 16 2010, 9:58 pm

I did not read the whole thread.

first and foremost:

YES, op, you need THREE MEALS A DAY!!! I cannot emphasize this enough. make this a priority. you'll function a lot better. you need energy to keep a household in place, and you can't afford high/low blood sugar due to lack of food during the day. eat with your baby. it's totally doable.

scheduling works differently for everyone. I recommend that you work on a regular sleep schedule when the baby's old enough. it'll make your life easier, though it will change from time to time.

household chores: do you have a house or apartment?

when I had one baby at home, I found the best way to start the day was by getting dressed upon rising and making the beds as soon as I could. then I'd get the baby dressed, feed him, play with him for a while, put him down for his nap, and make supper in the crockpot. then I'd clean the bathroom (toilet and sink, tub and floor were cleaned less frequently), wash the dishes, relax a bit, clean the living room, etc. baby napped for two hours, so I was able to get a lot done and still have my relaxation time. this was a medium sized apartment, so it was less work to clean than a full house. certain things should get cleaned more frequently than others. laundry should be done daily to prevent an avalanche. toilets should be cleaned daily if possible. dishes should be done daily. the rest is up to you and your situation.

saving money-- you're doing that by staying home. you don't have to pay childcare costs. if you want to save on the grocery bill, I suggest you make your own challah and yogurt. I make 1/2 gallon of yogurt at a time, and it costs me under $5. if you eat a lot of yogurt, it's definitely a money saver. I also advise you clip lots of coupons. definitely cut down on frozen items and takeout. and it's totally not worth it to pay for the pre-made skewers that you just have to grill. or those pre-packaged "soup kits" with the veggies packaged together. it's also worth it to learn how to check certain veggies rather than buying bodek. all those veggies are checkable at home. you'll save a lot of money that way.

exercise- take baby for a walk every day. get a good rain cover. a half hour walk is good exercise. if you're cleaning your home and running after the baby indoors as well, you're pretty darn active.

enjoy mommyhood at home!

Merrymom

Sun, May 23 2010, 10:24 pm

I do not eat three meals a day. I nibble throughout the day, a little yogurt, a little granola, a cup of tea etc. My main meal is dinner.

I save a ton of money by getting the weekend paper and using coupons and buying what's on sale that week. I easily save $10-$30 a week on my shopping this way.
Try to get a family plan for your cell phone, sometimes you can share minutes with your parents or in-laws.
You can get Netflix if you watch movies at home but if you want to eliminate that cost just watch movies on Hulu and borrow from your local library.
Dye your own hair, it's easy and mine always comes out great.
Learn to tweeze your own eyebrows instead of waxing. You can also shave your legs instead of waxing. If you use the Venus brand, it's really great.
Buy a percolator to make the same quality coffee as the expensive Starbuck's drinks. Mine cost about $40 and we use it all the time. Instant coffee doesn't come close. Of course you'll save alot of money on whitening strips if you just stay away from the coffee completely Smile

.
Don't use credit cards unless you need to buy something online or it has a 0% interest offer. If you don't have the money in your pocket just don't buy it. The interest is a killer.
Buy clothing on sale. Be open-minded about where to shop. I used to hate Sears. They had ugly Bubby clothing until about two years ago when I noticed that they got very fashionable. Just as an example I found adorable little toddler skirts for $4 each for my two year old a couple of weeks ago. Even my teenagers who are obsessed with shopping at Justice found lots of cute tops there and I pay "bupkes" for everything there as long as I wait for the sales.
I'm sure I can go on but I don't want to bore you.

Above all though, spend some money and time on yourself though or you'll have major burnout. Just because you're trying to save some money doesn't mean you shouldn't ever go out or have some fun.

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