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In this week's Jewish Press...what do you think?
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amother






Post  Sun, Jul 02 2006, 10:56 pm
mali wrote:
amother wrote:
to the last amother, maybe you and your children would be BETTER off if you DID get yourself a part time job?
I thought the same as I read your post. The best proof will be, that all your daughters will work full time, to make sure their families don't go through the same difficulties they did.

Please note that I do not convey to my children that we are not materially wealthy. They get the message you give them. If they had a loving environment filled with acceptance, love, kindness, and proper chinuch, they will grow up wanting to emulate that. And that is my hope for them. When my daughter comes home and tells me about the girl in her class that lives in that nice big mansion who’s mother is never home, and she doesn’t even feel so connected to her, and how she thinks that my daughters mother is "so great", well, I guess were doing something right here.

I ask myself, do I want the childhood that my children are having right now?
If its yes, than I am doing great. If its no, then why is that. The answer almost always is that I may not be there for them like I should be. But thank G-d, that is not the case, because I am the mother that is there for them, despite the fact that we have no money. I make sure to convey to them that they are more precious to me than diamonds and pearls.

Please don’t make such cut and dry assumptions like the one you made.
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hisorerus




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 3:15 am
mommyabc123 wrote:
Here's what I always wondered...

What about the mothers who leave their children on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur with non-Jewish nannies so they could go to shul?


I'm surprised nobody mentioned that Chana (mother of Shmuel Hanavi) stayed home from the Mishkan for 2 years (yes, we're talking about not seeing the Kohen Gadol, bringing a korbon, hearing the Shem Hameforash...) to take care of her son.

How could we think that Shul is more important than taking care of our special neshamos?
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hisorerus




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 3:20 am
Last amother (the one everyone is telling to go to work part-time shock ):

I'm very inspired by your attitude. Keep it up! It's true, it's not the things you have, but how you see them. If you're a good role model of being happy with what you have and not needing to be jealous of others, your kids will feel the same.

Hashem should bless you with more, seeing that you know how to take care of it!
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amother






Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 3:38 am
Thank you hisorerus. That was very kind.
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mali




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 4:44 am
roza wrote:
after reading this whole thread, I think: eilu ve'eilu...
LOL
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realeez




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 7:34 am
hisorerus wrote:
mommyabc123 wrote:
Here's what I always wondered...

What about the mothers who leave their children on Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur with non-Jewish nannies so they could go to shul?


I'm surprised nobody mentioned that Chana (mother of Shmuel Hanavi) stayed home from the Mishkan for 2 years (yes, we're talking about not seeing the Kohen Gadol, bringing a korbon, hearing the Shem Hameforash...) to take care of her son.

How could we think that Shul is more important than taking care of our special neshamos?


Thank you for thinking of this, hisorerus!
I will remember this for next year when I am one of the very few mothers out with her own children (as opposed to a nanny).
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willow




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 8:19 am
mali wrote:
roza wrote:
after reading this whole thread, I think: eilu ve'eilu...
LOL

What is eilu ve'eilu?
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shalhevet




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 8:22 am
both points of view are valid

eilu v'eilu divrei elokim chayim = both ways are the words of the living G-d; used often in halachic discussions to mean that although they are different opinions, both have their place in Torah
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willow




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 11:31 am
Thanx Very Happy
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miriam




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 10:43 pm
Crayon210 wrote:
Don't worry about my offspring, thanks.


Yeah, but your offspring may one day be someone's inlaw.
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Crayon210




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 11:28 pm
Excuse me?
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miriam




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 11:41 pm
Crayon210 wrote:
amother wrote:
Crayon210 wrote:
I can't imagine that the women on this site don't check out the baby-sitters and make sure everything is okay. I think people are more responsible than you're giving them credit for. I also think you're needlessly scaring a lot of women and making them feel bad.

I think you should stop picking on happymom. do you have some personal issue going on here???
she brought up very valid points. and if you think that the woman on this site are so fragile that what she says can so damage them, than they should step out of the kitchen.
getting too hot for you here?
crayon, did you stay home with your kids?


Don't worry about my offspring, thanks.

I am aware that it's a supersensitive topic for a lot of women, and I think it's best to proceed accordingly, that's all.


Just what came to mind when I read your post.
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happy




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 03 2006, 11:43 pm
www.aish.com/family/mensch/Who.....$.asp
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baby's mom




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 04 2006, 12:40 am
Excellent article Happy, thanks for posting.
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JRKmommy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jul 04 2006, 11:03 am
When dd#1 was a baby, I used to stress about this issue and think about all the horrible things Dr. Laura said about working mothers.

Things got better when I turned off the radio - and looked at my own family instead.

I look at what BOTH parents are doing, 24/7, and what the child is doing 24/7. Focusing on just what mom is doing, M-F, 9-5 doesn't make sense. Neither does ignoring whether the babysitter or daycare is a positive or negative experience for the child.

There is also the question of what the alternative would be. For example, I know that by working after having dd#1, we were able to afford to move out of the downtown apt and buy a home in a Jewish neighborhood.

Ultimately, it's about what works for the child, and what works for the family, keeping in mind the goals of raising little mentshes and having shalom bayis.

As well, work has changed and it's not a matter of a stark choice between working full-time with no stops and staying at home forever. I figure I've had a bit of both perspectives, since I was lucky enough to be able to stay home 7 mos with #1, 11 mos with #2 and 14 mos with #3.
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