working fulltime | Imamother

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Working fulltime

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amother

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 3:11 pm

Would you work fulltime when your husband doesn't earn enough?

Cookies n Cream

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 3:13 pm

I know many people that do.
They need to in order to survive.

Last edited by Cookies n Cream on Wed, Jun 02 2010, 3:23 pm; edited 1 time in total

ysydmom

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 5:30 pm

I do. You need more than 1 income in this economy sometimes even 2 side jobs with 2 full time jobs works well to.

However you need to survive do it.

nicole81

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 5:36 pm

If your husband doesn't earn enough and you've tried to cut back, then you have only 2 options: work or become a societal leech. I would choose the former.

mommalah

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 8:33 pm

nicole81 wrote:

If your husband doesn't earn enough and you've tried to cut back, then you have only 2 options: work or become a societal leech. I would choose the former.

My thoughts exactly! What option is there other than to work f/t?

MaBelleVie

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 9:06 pm

Yeah. . . as opposed to what? That's just one of those situations in life when ya really don't have a choice. . .

chocolate moose

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 9:32 pm

I do - I know some prefer to live with less.

catonmylap

Wed, Jun 02 2010, 11:37 pm

I do...

we just couldn't make it on one salary....and we were struggling when I worked part time...

JollyMommy

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 12:13 am

of course, BTDT. when you need more money you work. staying at home is a luxury, as is working part time.

TwinsMommy

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 12:22 am

my husband won't be working at all this summer but I still won't be working fulltime. but then again, I'm nuts. what I can get done in part time hours is enough-- I want the time with my kiddos when they're home.

cinnamon

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 2:42 am

of course. What else can you do?

louche

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 8:00 am

Of course. Even if I didn't mind starving, which I do, very much, there are the children to consider.

smilingmom

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 8:10 am

You do not always need a two income household especially if you don't try 'keeping up with the Jones' and prioritize your needs and wants.

My kids wore hand me downs and eat a lot of macaroni. Our family vacations were spent in Prospect Park and my kids were never at Great Adventures.

We are a one income family, and we are not leeches.
BTW, What is a leech?
Getting food stamps or WIC if you qualify?
Getting a scholarship or financial aid to send our kids to Yeshiva?

amother

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 10:00 am

smilingmom wrote:

Yes, well....we have no problem prioritizing, and we're not keeping up with anyone. We struggle to keep a (rented) roof over our head, (plain) food on the table, and our kids in yeshiva till they finish HS. all my clothes come from thrift shops, and not the kind where you get a designer evening gown for $2500. I extend the life of dh shirts by turning the collars and our kids have been to every free attraction in our city so many times they know the guided tours by heart. Not only do we eat a lot of pasta, but it's store-brand pasta and bought on sale. fleishik on shabbos and yontiff only and then it's the cheapest cut of chicken I can get.

Dh works like a slave and earns about 12K a year, not a month, no benefits. Even if we lived on a farm in Yehupetz and grew all our own food, we couldn't live on that, nor is it even enough to cover reduced tuition for our kids. So I am the primary breadwinner, and I can only do that by working fulltime.

I would still work for many reasons even if I didn't "have to" , but that's moot because I can't foresee a time that I wouldn't have to. Even if dh made more $, he has no benefits, so w/o my job we'd have no health insurance.

helena

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 10:55 am

Right now I am working full time, and my husband is in kollel.
He is planning to leave kollel after 1-2 years and go work.
But I do think that even when he will work, I will continue to work ful time!
I like luxury (holiday in hotel, new cloth, traveling alote...) so I have to do something for it:-)
My husband and I agreed right after our wedding that when we have extra money, we can go on holiday.... but when we dont have extra, we dont go.
I have friends that borrow money from a gemachim to go on holiday!
I would never do it!!

amother

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 10:57 am

no I would not. kids need thier mom around.

amother

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 10:59 am

im the amother above, what I might do is work full time in a job I didnt have to leave my children. Like open a playgroup or something like that. You can make alot of money that way, and if leaving your children is not something you want to do, It can work.

Fox

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 11:25 am

I've always worked 3/4- or full-time, and I think it's been a very positive experience for my kids, especially when I compare their attitudes to those of many kids with SAHMs.

First, I'll admit that my situation is a little unusual: my DH and I both work from home. On one hand, this makes us fabulously available. It's never a problem to pick up a sick kid at school or check on someone at home. On the other hand, we are at work, which means the kids have learned that they can't disturb us for every little thing. We have phone meetings, online training sessions, and lots of other tasks that can't be easily interrupted.

Would I work full-time if it meant a long commute? Possibly not. Even if I had to do so temporarily to make ends meet, I would probably be looking for something closer to home so that I could minimize the hours I spent commuting as well as being more easily available in the event of even minor emergencies.

However, I have come to believe that kids need to see their parents work! My own mother worked full-time, and DH's mother was a SAHM. Ninety percent of our shalom bayis problems result from this. My DH has household standards are are consistent with a SAHM. That doesn't mean he wasn't expected to help at home as he was growing up; simply that he expects a lifestyle in which there is a full-time homemaker juggling all the little day-to-day tasks as well as delegating labor.

Since we cannot afford for me to be a SAHM, this causes a lot of tension. I feel put upon because of his expectations, and he doesn't realize his expectations are unreasonable. Truthfully, I expect that one of my "crazy" questions about shidduchim for my DDs will be about the potential chosson's mother's work. I really don't want to put my daughters into a no-win situation where their husbands will (a) be unable to afford for them to stay at home; and (b) not realize that life without a SAHM is a whole different kettle of fish!

Tamiri

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 11:53 am

This is such a difficult question to answer. As others noted, it does depend on how little "too little" is, as far as DH's earnings go. Many women (myself included) could juggle a little bit of money to death, and squeak by without having to go out to work. It comes at great financial cost, but if [u]you want to be[/u] a SAHM (and I am not going into whether the kids benefit or not because great/not-so-great kids can emerge from either scenario) and are able to pay for your basics (that means nourishment, housing and tuition within reason) then by all means stay at home. If you can't feed the family, and your DH has no way to move up in salary, then I guess you have to go work. But from what I have seen, if you are earning so little between the two of you, it's better to just stay home and enjoy the "leeching" benefits available. Food, heat, WIC etc.
I read about so many families on the cusp of poverty, and they miss out by a few dollars on a lot of benefits even though they are killing themselves working.
I think that if "minorities" of all sorts are getting benefits from my tax dollars, a Jewish family may as well get them too.
Having said that, I believe that the "leeching" period should be minimal, until a couple gets on it's feet. Getting on your feet means you earn enough to pay for housing (whatever is less, rent or buying), nourishment, tuition, medical. For that, people have to plan in advance.

saw50st8

Thu, Jun 03 2010, 12:03 pm

If I couldn't survive on one salary (and we can't), I would work.

Its important to provide very basics for your family - food, shelter, basic clothing. Tuition is a luxury that you need to decide if you can afford.

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