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PARENT - Job Description

 
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basmalkah




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 09 2006, 7:00 pm
This is hysterical. If it had been presented this way, none of us
would have done it!!!!

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging permanent work in
an, often chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent
communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable
hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour
shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to
primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities! Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life. Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5. Must be willing to bite tongue
repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and
be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time,
the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf. Must be
willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget
repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers. Must screen
phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple
homework projects. Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks. Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next. Must handle
assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys,
and battery operated devices. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product. Responsibilities also include floor
maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None. Your job is to remain in the same position for years,
without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that
those in your charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this! You pay them! Offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that
college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you
give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary
scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered; this
job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for
life if you play your cards right.
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goldrose




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Jul 09 2006, 7:03 pm
wouldnt it be easier to just pay someone for a daily hug or two??! LOL
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willow




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Jul 10 2006, 3:13 am
Very cute Very Happy Goldrose lol LOL
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