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Forum -> Household Management -> Kosher Kitchen
Husband served Milchig margarine with Fleishig meal!!
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 6:34 pm
Last night we had a nice Shabbos dinner- the works, plus corn as a special treat.

Today, as we sat down to lunch I noticed that the Smart Balance margarine DH had bought at the store yesterday and we had served last night was milchig (they have both milchig and pareve margarine, and the containers look similar except for the D next to the OU)!!!!!

OMG!!!!

Yes, we will be getting in touch with our LOR.

I am so embarrassed:
a) we ate basar v'chalav
b) we served it to our children
c) we served it to our guests
d) it got on our knives and out good plates

So of course I will ask the Rabbi what to do about the aveira, about the dishes, and about informing the guests, but I feel horrible.

Furthermore our guests were a) a conservative family that keeps 'kosher in the home' and looks to us sometimes for kosher advice b) a woman who doesnt see herself as Jewish, even though her 'mothers parents were Jewish' and we are trying to set a good example for her and give her an enriching and kosher Shabbos experience and c) a teenager from a psudo-frum home who is no longer shomer Shabbos except when forced to be.

Its just a mess
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 7:26 pm
insert chizzuk here please
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 7:31 pm
You're lor will tell you what to do, but did you check the ingredients? Is it actually milichig?
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c.c.cookie




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 7:32 pm
Oy vey! Crying I'm so sorry, that's tough! As far as chizzuk - it was an accident! Totally shogeg! It happened, do teshuva, learn for next time. (And don't knock your husband, or he'll never cook again - don't want that!)
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 7:34 pm
Spoke with LOR and since no cooking involved and it want that hot, its all ok. he said no need to tell guests and just rinse the plates by hand b4 using the dishwasher.

Dh looked and it contains less than 2% whey

Dont have to worry about Dh being turned off from cooking- I cant keep him out of the kitchen he loves it so much
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 7:43 pm
Would it make you feel any better to know that:
I once accidentally served gebrokhts cookies to my family and guests (none of whom would ever intentionally eat it) on Pesach.
I once served a risotto dish made with fish to my guests with turkey (I set out leftovers from shabbos and let everyone help themselves, assuming they knew the risotto was fish, but it seems some of them didn't).
We once were served the most delicious "parve" chocolate truffles for dessert at the end of a shabbos meal at our rabbi's house. We were later informed they were milchigs.
These things happen. We're human. Just talk to your LOR about what needs to be done and be more careful about margarine in the future.
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Mommastuff




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 7:48 pm
For that reason I stopped buying any milchig margerine.

But mistakes happen. Feel bad, learn what to do better and move on.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 7:55 pm
We were married 4 months when I came down with an awful cold. Dh made me chicken soup from a can. He looked at the label which said OU-P. Thinking the "P" stood for pareve, he put it in a milchig bowl. (Not sure why he thought chicken soup was pareve!) He proudly served me the soup in a fancy china dairy bowl and I was like "WHAT! The P stands for Passover!! Since china couldn't be kashered, we thought everything was messed up...the bowl, the plastic serving spoon, the pot. He called OU who said it was fine....there is not enough actual chicken in the soup to mess everything up!
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yo'ma




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 8:09 pm
amother wrote:
We were married 4 months when I came down with an awful cold. Dh made me chicken soup from a can. He looked at the label which said OU-P. Thinking the "P" stood for pareve, he put it in a milchig bowl. (Not sure why he thought chicken soup was pareve!) He proudly served me the soup in a fancy china dairy bowl and I was like "WHAT! The P stands for Passover!! Since china couldn't be kashered, we thought everything was messed up...the bowl, the plastic serving spoon, the pot. He called OU who said it was fine....there is not enough actual chicken in the soup to mess everything up!

I would also think it meant pareve, unless it was pesach time. You can get pareve chicken consomme, so why not a soup?!
I once poured a dressing all over my chicken and for some reason I looked at the ingredients, not the hechsher, and saw it had some milk products. I didn't cook the chicken yet, so I just dumped it all. I don't know if I had to, but that's what I did.
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amother


 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 9:35 pm
amother wrote:
We were married 4 months when I came down with an awful cold. Dh made me chicken soup from a can. He looked at the label which said OU-P. Thinking the "P" stood for pareve, he put it in a milchig bowl. (Not sure why he thought chicken soup was pareve!) He proudly served me the soup in a fancy china dairy bowl and I was like "WHAT! The P stands for Passover!! Since china couldn't be kashered, we thought everything was messed up...the bowl, the plastic serving spoon, the pot. He called OU who said it was fine....there is not enough actual chicken in the soup to mess everything up!


Wow, you have fancy milchik china. I'm jealous.
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RachelEve14




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Jun 12 2010, 10:07 pm
If it makes you feel any better, once I bought ice cream. Served it Friday night to guests. Put back in the freezer. Brought it back out after Shabbot lunch and the husband told me (before I served it) it was dairy Surprised: ). So I served my Friday night people dairy ice cream.
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amother


 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 2:48 am
Glad to know everything turned out OK.

I was once at my in-laws for Pesach, and my MIL served a cake for dessert. We were all eating it saying, "This is AMAZING. You can't even tell it's Pesach cake." Sort of half-jokingly my MIL checked to make sure it actually was KLP, and....IT WASN'T!!!
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Raisin




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 3:52 am
keeping chalav yisrael saves you from a lot of these mistakes. generally, the milchig stuff we buy is very obviously milchig, and is very clearly marked. But why should earth balance put in big letters dairy, if they are not a Jewish company.

but I'm sorry this happened. In general husbands just aren't so observant of these things. Mine ate cheesecake with a fleishig knife yesterday.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 5:57 am
Smart Balance brand is a hard one, in general. Bc the same item in a different size can be OU-D while the other is OU parve.

Use this as an opportunity to be a little more vigilant. We all can get a little complacent and these things slip in. Daven to Hashem to give you the eyes to see what you need to see and not to send you nisayonos (tests). Then, move on. Smile
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4ofus




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 6:03 am
My mother once put cheese blintzes in the cholent thinking it was potato! We woke up on Friday morning to the weirdest smell! LOL
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mama-star




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 6:05 am
to me I think the biggest issue here was that you couldn't accept that you made an honest mistake and you were all worried about your guests. would it have been so wrong to say, "I'm sorry, we made a kashrus mistake?"
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imabima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 6:21 am
A tip...
I buy two of the parve Earth Balances then write in huge letters with a black sharpie "Fleishig" on one and "Milchig" on the other. This usually avoids any confusion!
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YALT




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 6:39 am
I once pulled ice cream out of the freezer & mistakenly took the milchigs.

Of all weeks, that was the one (and only!) time I decided to hide DS' chicken under the ice cream hoping he'd eat it. Then we realized I took out the milchigs!
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imabima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 7:24 am
Another point: Definitely ask your Rav but it doesn't seem like you would be under any obligation to tell your guests that you served them the wrong marg. Ask before you mention it to them. It really does no good to them them especially because there isn't anything they or you can do about it now. Also, given your guest list, it doesn't so much seem as if they would care one way or the other and it may be better for them to think that it was all tip-top kosher!
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freidasima




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 13 2010, 7:35 am
I beat you all.
I once served a roast and then we found out that the butcher had been selling treif!
Not great at all.
I was ready to throw out the stove, not to speak of the fact that I couldn't stop throwing up for a week.

I didn't even want to tell dh....I was so embarrased. But it wasn't only me. It was a story here in Yerushalayim about 25 years ago and everyone who bought from this guy was in gehokte zurris...B"h my father was still alive and he told me what I had to do...and the first thing he told me was KAPORRO. It was totally beshogeg, no one could have known, the butcher himself didn't know, he had been given what was supposed to be fresh beef and ...anyhow it was a long story.

No I didn't throw out my stove, we had to blowtorch everything. Silverware was no problem, you can kasher everything. I didn't want to even think of kashering the roasting pan, out it went, although halochically I could have blowtorched it at well. But the thought of it made me want to throw up, you should excuse me.

Dishes, ah dishes. You don't want to know.
That was - miracle of miracles - BEFORE my mother had given me her good Rosenthal set.
It was melmac plastic carp (please transpose letters, I don't mean the fish).
Into the garbagio it went.
It only cost $16 anyhow when we got married.
Got new plastic carppy dishes for fleishig.

And didn't buy meat for about ten years after that.
Only chicken.
Yeah well.
But the most important thing my father said was IT WAS BESHOGGEG and my ogmas nefesh was probably a kapporo for something...so...
And he had eaten with us Friday nite.
I asked him what he thought and he had only one comment..."well it was tasty"...
Which was obviously just to make me laugh as I was crying so hard...

So chill.
It was BESHOGEG
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