Trying to celebrate Hebrew Bday over English

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Forum -> Announcements & Mazel Tovs -> Mazel Tov on Birthdays & Anniversaries

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chesed613

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 12:30 pm

Hi all, Its my hebrew bday the 20 tammuz. My husband really prefers to celebrate this day, but I am BT and my whole life its been my english Bday. Its hard to emotionally let go of that day.

Plus all my family and secular friends wont acknowledge this friday but will on my english bday.

I asked my Frum friends to go out to brunch on Friday to try to mark the occasion, but its hard to get used to the idea...

Any ideas, hashgafa, input??
Thanks!

Ruchel

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 12:36 pm

I say it all depends on what frum people do around you. Many here celebrate the secular and acknowledge (or not) the Hebrew one.
Mine is 29 tamuz, btw Wink

c.c.cookie

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 1:26 pm

I say celebrate both! Seriously, you yourself celebrate your Hebrew birthday, but then you have another day when people give you birthday wishes also. It's like two birthdays! I grew up like that - my family celebrated the Hebrew dates, but all my grandparents, aunts and uncles etc. celebrated the English date. I love having two birthdays!

dee's mommy

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 1:39 pm

Happy Birthday

I understand. I personally would like to celebrate Hebrew birthdays instead of secular, but I always get misty eyed on my daughter's secular birthday, not on her Hebrew.

Also, for my own birthday, I don al't really do much about it. You see, first Tishrei happens, complete with Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Succos, Shmeni Atzeret and Simchas Torah and meals coming out of my ears. Then, a couple of weeks later, my husband's secular birthday, our secular anniversary, our Hebrew anniversary and my husband's Hebrew birthday all manage to fall within two weeks of each other. And then, just a few weeks later is my secular birthday, and Hebrew birthday followed by Chanukah a mere few days later. (Or coinciding.) With all that going on, I am just too tired to observe any of my birthdays.

Why mark all these days? You see, I am also a Baalas Teshuvah, and my family remembers the secular days. It's kind of hard to not celebrate when parents, grandparents and others are wishing you well on the secular day, and nobody else seems aware of the Hebrew day. So basically, for myself, I celebrate with chocolate. On my Hebrew birthday, well, I still celerate with chocolate... but I buy myself a new sefer or something.

Anyway, enough about me. Here is a thought: on your Hebrew birthday, celebrate the spritual you. Give some extra tzedakah. Say some special prayers, tehillim. Do a special mitzvah.

Chesed613 and Ruchel, happy birthday. Queen

mazeltov

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 1:50 pm

happy birthday!

it can't hurt to celebrate both: each birthday with the people that acknowledge that date as your birthday.

my mil told me that in her family, they have a custom that they never celebrate any birthdays- what a downer.
because "al taamin biatzmicha ad yom misascha".

but hey, if you want my opinion, it's a mitzvah to be happy- tamid bisimcha- so why not celebrate whenever it makes you happy.

when I was in high school, a friend of mine gave me a present- on HER birthday she gave ME a present. I was surprised that she gave me a present on her birthday, and she said that she believes that on her birthday, she should give to others rather than expect from others. I thought it was beautiful that in her family, they give to others on their own birthdays, so their birthdays are about giving rather than receiving. but no, I don't usually give people presents on my birthday Wink

I think it's always nice to give or get presents and be besimcha.

my birthday is also coming up. happy birthday to us all!

if others won't acknowledge our birthdays, let's at least acknowledge it for ourselves and wish ourselves a happy birthday and happy every day!

chica

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 1:51 pm

I can relate!!!
Today's my (Hebrew) birthday, and not only do few of my friends know it, but I told my mother and she didn't even wish me a happy birthday!!! That sucked...

dee's mommy

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 2:18 pm

Happy birthday chica.

I like the idea of giving presents on your birthday. It's like in the begining of Lord of the Rings. The Hobbits give presents on their birthdays.

mindyme

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 2:42 pm

Celebrate both! For you and your kids and dh! that's what my parents did, and so do I. I figure, why not make someone feel extra special for 2 days?
In your case, perhaps do the birthday thing with your imm. family (dh and kids) on your Heb. bday, and let your extended family spoil you on the Eng.
they both ARE the day you were born...
I've heard about this beautiful bday thing the kids do in E"Y, where the little guests give brachos to hte bday girl.
Also, in Chabad, a bday is a special day for introspection, doing mitzvos, esp. tzedaka. also they say daily the kapitel tehillim that corresponds to their age, so they start the new one that day.
You could also thank your parents, esp. mother!

octopus

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 7:06 pm

if you want to celebrate your english b-day, go ahead! I happen to have an exciting hebrew b-day. And it usually comes first. So I like to celebrate what comes first. But now that I'm getting older...maybe I should wait for my english b-day....

Rima

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 7:12 pm

I love to part so I celebrate both Smile

MiracleMama

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 7:23 pm

Dh and I like to celebrate our birthdays and kids' birthdays on the hebrew dates. Many of our relatives cling to the English dates. Why should I get upset? 2 parties are better then one. So we celebrate twice. Go ahead and do the same. There is nothing unseemly about celebrating an english b-day.

tziviakayla

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 9:57 pm

We celebrate both! Everyone's birthdays, our anniversary. Most of our birthdays and our anniversary fall between the end of April and mid-October. (One dd is born in February!) We end up with doubles every so often (Someone's English B-day will coincide with someone's Hebrew B-day!) It's really a lot of fun to celebrate both....we just move from one to another basically for 6 months! Some dates are very close to each other , even without the occasional doubling up of dates.

lech lecha08

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 11:06 pm

For my own birthday, I associate the English date more with it but we celebrate the kids' Hebrew birthdays. Even if we did celebrate the English dates, we didn't have a choice last year when DD2's English birthday fell out on Tisha b'Av

imasinger

Wed, Jun 30 2010, 11:08 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I say it all depends on what frum people do around you. Many here celebrate the secular and acknowledge (or not) the Hebrew one.
Mine is 29 tamuz, btw Wink

My DD shares your birthday.

We often do both also.

imamama

Thu, Jul 01 2010, 3:24 am

Another vote for both. I tried to switch over to my Hebrew birthday after making aliyah, but my English birthday (which is tomorrow, btw Wink

) is too ingrained into my brain as my "real birthday," I often don't notice it's my Hebrew birthday until it's already passed.

With my kids I thought we'd for sure celebrate only their Hebrew birthdays, but they were both born over Thanksgiving weekend, so I tend to notice their English birthdays, too, more often than I notice the Hebrew dates. Oh, well.

Maybe you can get a card and a cake on your Hebrew birthday, and a present on your English birthday Very Happy

gamekeeper

Thu, Jul 01 2010, 5:28 am

dh also prefers celbrating heb and I grew up with eng. we came to an awesome compromise that my kids love most- the birthday starts with whichever starts first and ends with whichever comes second! sometimes its 3 weeks of being spoiled! yay for us! oh and the birthday gift comes with whichever comes first!

Grandmama

Thu, Jul 01 2010, 9:40 am

We are chasidish, but open minded.
No cake with candles, just cake. But candles are ok too once in a while for fun.
I just celebrate both days, what is the big deal?
We try to celebrate all the time, with any excuse.
When its my childrens birthday, say two weeks apart, we celebrate for the whole two weeks, until they are officially birthdaylized. (really the age they say they are)
We make a special dinner on the Hebrew birthday, and special treats or get together on the English one. Sometimes one will be for family, the other for friends. Makes no difference which is which.
We try to make something special around Shabat too of that week.
Just enjoy! And many many more.

chocolate moose

Thu, Jul 01 2010, 12:13 pm

DEF celebrate both. Heck, celebrate your half birthday if you want to. We need more simcha !

gamekeeper

Fri, Jul 02 2010, 7:19 am

chocolate moose wrote:

DEF celebrate both. Heck, celebrate your half birthday if you want to. We need more simcha !

couldnt agree more Wink

Peanut2

Fri, Jul 02 2010, 7:57 am

I've celebrated both my whole life. Different sides of the family had an easier time remembering different birth dates. It's great, and like someone else said, you can even celebrate a "chol hamoed birthday" between the Hebrew and secular dates. It's a birthday season!

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