I am the bravest woman that I know!

mynameismom

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 12:36 pm

OMG!

that is painfully hysterical. I am now completely convinced to never go near my nether regions with wax on my own. I'll probably never do it then because I'm not showing anyone my bottom to wax. Maybe we can convince our OB/GYNs to start offering waxing services.

Nomad

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 12:49 pm

SarahO, omg - that was hysterical - I was laughing so hard - I was crying!! LOLOLOLOL!!

and OP - I am impressed! WOW and OOOOOW!!!

frumluv

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 12:53 pm

OP, have no idea how you could do it yourself. Good for you - very brave!

exhausted

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 12:55 pm

Oh, I laughed so hard!! Thank you so much!! BTW, I just went to a salon for the first time and the pain wasn't bad at all, couldn't understand what everyone was talking about. I guess I'm lucky!

shlomitsmum

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 1:00 pm

SarahO. wrote:

[b]when I read this post...the following story is all I could think of... Rolling Laughter

I tried to edit accordingly sorry if I missed a few things....

WAX is NOT your friend
CAUTION: Be prepared to laugh out loud... I laughed till I almost cried as I could just see this happening! (And I feel it too!)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal- The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now... the wax.

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off.

No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out.

(Y A THINK!?!)

So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. (Cold wax, "yeah... right!")

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works!

Ok, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad.

I can do this!

Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.

With me next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to t he inside of my bum cheek.

(Yes, it was a long strip)
I inhale deeply and brace myself... RRRRIIIPPP!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!... OH MY -G-D!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRP!!!!!

Another deep breathe and RRIIPP!!

Everything is swirly and spotted.

I think I may pass out... must stay conscious...

Do I hear crashing drums???

Breathe, breathe...

OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy- a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it.

I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet.

I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip.

I touch. I am touching wax.

****!

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, wh ich I s now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Then I make the next BIG mistake... remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet?

I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down.

DANG!!!!!

I hear the slamming of a cell door.

"hoo-hoo"? Sealed shut!

But?? Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself
What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!

I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right???

WRONG!!!!!

I get in the tub- the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment- I sit.

Now, the only th ing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together a n d then glued to the bottom of the tub.. in scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!!!!

G-d bless the man who had convinced me a few moths ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter- "So, my bum and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!"

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?"

She's laughing out loud by now... I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YE AH!!!! RIGHT! !!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various sol ut ions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your bum in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace... the lotion the give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point?

I rub some on and OH MY G-D!!!

The scream probably woke the kids and scared the ens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care.

"IT WORKS!! It works!!"

I get a hearty congratulations from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice t o my grief and despair... THE HAIR IS STILL THERE... ALL OF IT!!!!

So I recklessly sh ave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color.... Now thats funny...... Notttt.

OMG you need to write this stuff ...I almost peed myself laughing !!!!!
practice makes perfect ,you just bought a bad waxing kit.
Very Happy

amother

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 1:07 pm

sarahO you had me rolling here!!!!!!!!!!!!

so... THANKFULLY my experience was way more positive than that ladies!
hahahahahaha!!!

msctwg

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 1:19 pm

to the above poster thank you thank you for your post! it turned a blah day into one that icouldn't stop laughing!!
to the original poster...kudos!!

sarahd

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 2:56 pm

Man alive, that was so funny.

chocolate moose

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 3:16 pm

I don't think thta OP is so brave. She's in charge when she does her own waxig. When you put someome else in charge - now that's brave.

I'm a brave person every six weeks of my life; do I get a medal ?

boro park

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 3:20 pm

I have a question for all of you. does it really hurt to wax down below or am I just too scared? I waxed my upper lip after eyebrows and it was so painful I just cant do it anymore.

married21

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 3:34 pm

SarahO, OMG! OMG! Rolling Laughter

I'm sitting at my desk at work and bawling from laughter (and getting lots of strange stares from my workmates).
Thanks for the laugh!

slushiemom

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 3:40 pm

Sarah O, that was AMAZING!! I'm sitting here cracking up and dh wants to know what's so funny... oh nothing dear, go back to your computer...

and to the OP- wow, that's a potentially painful way to save money, so good for you that you sucked it up and did it!

ray family

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 3:47 pm

I don't think I've laughed that hard in a looooong time.
thanks!!

neverbored

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 4:04 pm

LOL funny. thanks for the laughs.

amother

Wed, Jul 07 2010, 11:14 pm

oh that was funny BTW how often do you need to wax down there?
I find that I need to do it pretty often....

amother

Thu, Jul 08 2010, 3:38 am

amother wrote:

oh that was funny BTW how often do you need to wax down there?
I find that I need to do it pretty often....

op here

really? I find that down there it grows slowest and now grows really fine as opposed to the course hair it was before.

with regards to the lip waxing- facial hair stings. I find the same with arm hair.
honestly I find my bikini the least painful at the moment. try it. but get someone good to do it for you for the first while. as much as chocolatemoose seems to think that its not brave to do it on your own- believe me its easier when someone else does it for you.

amother

Thu, Jul 08 2010, 3:40 am

chocolate moose wrote:

why are you so negative? this is a light hearted fun thread! you feel you are so brave? start a thread- im so brave I go to a beautician!

chocolate moose

Thu, Jul 08 2010, 11:54 am

amother wrote:

im so brave I go to a beautician!

nah, I cut and color my own hair.

amother wrote:

why are you so negative?

Just putting everthing in prospective.

amother

Thu, Jul 08 2010, 12:03 pm

I must be really innocent. Till I came onto Imamother I never thought anyone normal shaved down there, let alone frum women.

And no, this has not given me the desire to do it either! I'll be honest and say it sounds a bit Puke

but that's just my personal feeling. I have nothing against those who, er, do.

Another question - why are there so many threads on this subject? Isn't a bit personal?

amother

Thu, Jul 08 2010, 12:05 pm

amother wrote:

Another question - why are there so many threads on this subject? Isn't a bit personal?

Yes it is personal, but this is the only place I am likely to discuss this issue with anyone and its something that if you choose to do you may have lots of questions.