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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
freshie
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Mon, Jul 12 2010, 4:43 am
As parents we try to give our children the best. We all know that role modelling and behaviour speaks more powerfully than words. I have discussed with dh on what has left a strong impression on us as children for the good and for the bad. I will share some here and would like to hear from you try and get ideas so I can incorporate them to my child (and future children IYH).I
positive things
- My mother would always make sure no matter what to be home before I come home from school so she would be there to greet me.
- My mother would always ask me before if I minded if she was thinking on having a guest that I knew. I see that sometimes we don't think and want to help out and invite kids over without thinking it may clash. I always said yes as I felt respected and didn't resent it like I know others did.
- this is more general and I think you need the personality. My father was always gentle and respectful to me and my friends. I found that when I was younger my friends fathers could be obnoxious to us etc.
dh- He felt his father took Shul seriously. He would only allow him to come if he would sit and not run around and he feels that although many of his friends ran around and he was jealous, now looking back he knew that shul is a place to davan and nothing else.
- his mother always would encourage him to be appreciative to people who went out of his way for him and he would always write a note or call them up, the same if she felt he needed to apologize.
negative things
- I never liked it when I heard my parents talk down on people in authority. My opinion is whatever you think keep it in your head or as children see things as black and white and if they see their parents putting down someone in authority then that opens for them to become policemen and put down everyone.
- My parents would sometimes pretend our age in order to get something for free or cheaper.
dh- his father uses bad language and he hates it and he has it in his vocabulary and is having a very hard time working on it.
- There was a time when dh chosen to be the soloist in the school choir and it meant alot to him- he still talks about it today. he asked his mother to come and she said she was too busy I really think it crished him especially that most parents came!
Please share what you learned in a positive way and what to avoid! I really want to give my child (ren iyh)
the best I could.
TIA
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goldi
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Mon, Jul 12 2010, 8:37 am
-my mother was always very comforting, ie. if I came home from school upset about a situation that happened, I can still feel to this day, her really listening to me and empathisizing
- my parents always held respecting others and ahavas yisrael and even just brios in a very high regard. ie. being careful not to talk about others in a negative fashion - trying to always be dan lkaf zchus. and also trying to be there and give to others who need it, like inviting over ppl for shabbos who would be lonely otherwise, or ppl just learning abt judaism.
- an important middah instilled me was always being happy with what you have and not always looking for more , but to remember there are others who may have less, and to appreciate everything. this is learned when a parent really has these feeling or works very hard to, and holds it in high regard
- Showing positivity about everything, appreciating the little things in life, and always looking to find the positive in every situation, and being happy.
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yo'ma
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Mon, Jul 12 2010, 9:51 am
I'm not saying there weren't many more, but I have such a bad memory of my childhood, so here's one thing. Whenever we wanted to go away for shabbos, my mother always let us, even if it was hard for her. My friends mother never let her go away because she felt she needed to stay home and help.
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