What is considered to be a "large" family?

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 12:50 pm

Just curious..how many children are there in families that are considered large? Does this vary depending on whether one is yeshivish, chasidish, modern, etc?

red sea

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 1:13 pm

I think its definitely subjective

chocolate moose

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 1:22 pm

As per the Kolol store, you could shop there with 4 or more kids.

technic

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 1:34 pm

in my (limited) experience, pple think a large fam is one more child than they have!!! (or more of course...)

frummom

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 1:34 pm

according to my kids, any family with more kids than us is big - and we have 8 ka"h. if we had 3, they'd say the same thing - so yeah, it's definitely subjective!

chocolate moose

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 1:47 pm

lol

wheni had a needy baby, that was a lot. when I had two...........that was a lot!!!!!!!!!!!

Raisin

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 2:17 pm

In lubavitch I would say under 6= small 7-10 average 11+ large 13+ wow she is so amazing how does she cope with all those kids really big family.

As Sarag says, what you have you think is big. Now I look back to when I only had 1 or 2 kids and laugh, but it was hard then. Now I have 4, and when the older 3 are in school one feels like a vacation.

avigayil

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 2:41 pm

Around here, 5 or more is large. Several years ago, we started a community sponsored kollel and they have certained lifted the average up Very Happy

Mommy912

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 3:36 pm

SaraG wrote:

As per the Kolol store, you could shop there with 4 or more kids.

What store is this? How does this work, is there a membership card? Do they count kids?

chocolate moose

Tue, Jul 25 2006, 3:39 pm

it started in the mid 80's I think. in boro park. it was an honor system.

kollel couples could shop there too.

amother

Wed, Jul 26 2006, 12:35 am

just wondering, in the communities where it is normal to have large families, such as 6 and more I think, what do couples do or what do they feel, when they have fertility problems and so they dont have anywhere near that amount of children?

it must be VERY hard on them.

just an observation.....

Ruchel

Wed, Jul 26 2006, 2:07 am

For the non jews: more than 2
In my circles: more than 3/4
Imho: more than 4

Wed, Jul 26 2006, 7:52 am

amother wrote:

Very true. I come from a family of 3 which is a fairly average size in my community. Very few of my school friends came from families of more than 5.
I have major fertility issues and we adopted our son after failed fertility treatment. I doubt that there is any chance that I will have the size family that I anticipated having as I was growing up (3, maybe 4 kids) never mind more than that.
I found that one of the hardest things to deal with was/is friends and family all around me pregnant and having babies and none of my close friends have 'large' families yet (some are on #3 or 4 now)
It is particularly tough for those with primary or secondary infertility in communities where large families is the norm and there is so much emphasis on it. They are dealing with the double whammy of infertility -which is never easy at the best of times, believe me - coupled with a community where they are constantly surrounded by pregnancy and babies.
In a way I am so grateful that I don't live in such a community as it makes my life much more bearable. I 'only' know of 4 people who are expecting at the moment.....

avigayil

Wed, Jul 26 2006, 1:46 pm

There are plenty of non jews who have lots of kids as a way of life.

In my 'old religion', the school I went to most families had 7 or 8 kids. The largest had 13. I was all lonely being only 1 of 4!

In my old neighborhood, people are still having their large families unless they have fertility problems.

Ruchel

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 12:54 am

avigayil wrote:

Yes, "frum" Xtians and Muslims have many children.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jul 27 2006, 1:11 am

Ruchel wrote:

avigayil wrote:

Yes, "frum" Xtians and Muslims have many children.

so true. that the whole problem with the demographics in israel. the fum ppl, and I mean muslins, christians and jews are all having many children and so the jews are not expanding in growth in terms of ppl b/c there are MANY secualr jews and many more religious arabs.

amother

Sun, Oct 22 2006, 6:45 pm

I am lubavitch and my husband and I both come from very large families.
I always "knew" I would have a large family, minimum 10, well Hashem had other plans for us. We b"h do have children but with medical intervention, it is very hard to go thru treatment, so we will probably never have what we dreamed of. I did learn to appreciate the children I do have more. I also have much more time on my hands as all my children are in school. I also don't have sleepless nights Confused

amother

Mon, Oct 23 2006, 1:45 am

amother wrote:

I know what you mean. I did not grow up in a large family but always knew that I wanted a large family, and well, also, it has not been the easiest to become pregnant yet, so I also do not think that we will have the large family that I always dreamed of, but however many children HaShem blesses us with will be such a bracha:)

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