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Name things only a jewish mother would say! lol !
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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 30 2006, 3:36 pm
thats not a very nice comment for a mother-or anyone for that matter- to make....amother, I hope that ur mom didnt put u down like that often...
a mother should boost her child's confidence, not squash it...
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amother


 

Post Thu, Nov 30 2006, 4:01 pm
Yeah, you could say I was brought up on a squashed confidence. My parents would never compliment me on principle "so I shouldn't get a big head."

Once, I remember when I was small and cutting out patterns with scissors, my father complimented me for my accuracy. I could feel my mother glaring at him from over my shoulder and he was immediately silent. I think that was the only compliment I ever got in my entire childhood.
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happy2beme




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 9:49 am
To the above amothers, I'm sorry Sad
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gold21




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 10:30 am
wow amother that must be really hard....
did u go to therapy for this? ......this is a big big thing, as a parent's love for their child/ren is crucial to creating feelings of self-worth.... such deragatory comments must have affected you greatly--
I am sure that ur mom and dad loved you, but had their own messed up issues that caused them to act this way
this is what I tell myself when I think about the things that make me upset about my childhood....
I wish you a lot of success in rising above your past and seeing yourself as the wonderful special person that you likely are...
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 11:03 am
Quote:
Paula E. Kirman

On Jewish Mothers

Jewish mothers. Are there any other two words that when juxtaposed, they illicit feelings at once of both reverance and fear. That is, only if you happen to be the child of one of them.

The stereotype of the over-protective, constantly fretting Jewish mother is well-known across cultures and religion -- the woman who does not cut the apron strings even after her children have passed the age of 25. Heck, even after they passed the age of 40, and have children of their own. Do you know the old joke about what the difference is between a Jewish mother and a rottweiler? The rottweiler will eventually let go.

Yes, there are indeed some Jewish mothers who fit the mold, and we all have our stories and experiences either encountering or living with them. I don't know what it is about being Jewish that turns a woman who would probably otherwise be normal into a worrying basketcase. Does being Jewish have anything to do with it? Does being a woman? Woody Allen is Jewish, and certainly is known for portraying characters that are more than slightly neurotic, and he isn't a woman.

Families are important in Judaism. Most of life cycle events and holidays are geared to be celebrated within a family unit. But family is also important in other cultures. Greek and Italian mothers have also been known to watch over their youngsters closely, but still do not have the stigma attached to them that Jewish mothers do.

Could this stereotype be a form of anti-Semitism? Perhaps. But at the same time, it is not exactly a false profile. I can't count how many times I have commiserated with other Jews about my parents, only to see them nodding their heads in empathy. There is such a thing as self-hatred, but one's experiences are their experiences: if we come from a home with a nutty Jewish mother, than that is our experience, and chalking the stereotype up to anti-Semitism is an aside.

So, here are some suggestions about why things are as they are with our maternal bonds. I mentioned earlier that family is important in Judaism. So is food. Food is crammed down our throats at every available moment. Food is linked with Jewish holidays. So when we refuse to eat for no reason other than we are simply not hungry, it is easy for one's mother to get offended or worried that something is wrong ("No mom, I won't waste away if I don't eat my third latke/blintz/cabbage roll/fill in with the ethnic food of your choice.").

As well, in a world where it is only recent that Jews are not paraiahs in society, a person who lived in more dangerous times may feel more protective of her flock. I don't see the worry and fretting in my contemporaries -- it is mostly older women who were alive during the time of the Holocaust. Women who may have lived part of their lives in an Easern European Jewish shtetl, then experiencing the culture shock of North America, and the non-Jewish cultural and religious influences that being part of a more dispersed Jewish community brought into their lives and families.

Basically then, I think the problem is with a certain generation of Jewish women who have their mindset in another time and place. Let me give you a personal example. My mother would not allow me to ride my bicycle unaccompanied, even though I was well into my teens, because she was afraid of me getting caught in traffic. We live in Western Canada. When my grandparents visited one summer from New York, my grandfather (of blessed memory) asked me why I did not go for a bike ride. When I explained to him the reason, he promptly marched inside and in a bewildered tone of voice asked my mother, "What traffic?" Thanks to Grandpa, she relented. But until then, my dear mother's vision of congested roads was still focussed on the hectic streets of New York.

With these women, the universal and general become the local and specific. We must eat because children are starving in Africa. We must be home before dark because someone's sister's best friend's aunt's cousin was attacked twenty years before.

The stereotypical Yiddishe Mama is probably a species that will not remain beyond another generation, as the face and makeup of Jewish families change and we are more used to living amongst non-Jews. But her mark upon Jewish literature, popular culture, and our lives, will ensure that the legend of the Jewish mother will remain a part of the Jewish consciousness.

http://www.bellaonline.com/art.....1.asp
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Motek




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Dec 01 2006, 11:04 am
What did the waiter ask the group of dining Jewish mothers?
"Is ANYTHING all right?"
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How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?
(Sigh) Don't bother, I'll sit in the dark, I don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.
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Did you hear about the bum who walked up to the Jewish mother on the street and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." To which she replied: "Force yourself."
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A man calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," says the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son says, "Why are you so weak?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The man says, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answers, "Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jewish telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow" (that's MY mother! Smile )
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ny21




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Dec 12 2006, 8:53 pm
vey nice ! motek - I liked the last joke best.
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JRKmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 21 2006, 1:09 pm
My favorite line ever from my crazy bubby was "Eat - I have to throw it out anyway". Really appetizing, eh? I think she may have been thinking that we were hungry, but were holding back b/c we'd feel guilty about eating her food?

Lines I DON'T hear:

Homework can wait. You're only young once.

I don't care what my kids do, as long as they're happy.

As soon as my kids hit 18, I want them out!

Why bother with school? Just quit and take a cleaning job.

You wanna be a mountain climber? Cool.

I went into culture shock when I went to work in a "trashy" area of Toronto (Scarborough, right beside the legal aid clinic). Applying for the welfare cheque was seen as a right of pasage, and it was a given that many families would never consider helping out a child over 18.

Then, I started working in an Italian area, right around the time that I saw "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". I'm convinced that Jews, Greeks and Italians may be related on some far-back level. You know what you call a separated 35 yr old Italian man who lives in his own apartment? An orphan. In EVERY other case I had, the man went back to live with mama. Italian mamas have a reputation too. For better or worse, I never saw an uninvolved family, and they are VERY much into food pushing as well. Now, here's a funny story: I had one client who seemed worried b/c I wasn't Italian, and she wanted to make sure that I really understood the family dynamics. She simply assumed that I was "Canadian". Finally, I told her, "I may not be Italian, but I'm Jewish and have Israeli ILs". She smiled with relief.

Motek - I do think that some of this is a generational/geographical thing. My "Canadian" parents don't push the food nearly as much as my ILs do. However, it's certainly not just an Ashkenazi thing, because nobody pushes food like dh's Iraqi relatives! During one trip over Pesach (remember, they eat rice), I gained 10 lbs in 2 weeks!
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anon




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Dec 21 2006, 1:23 pm
Pushing food is definitetly a sephardi thing. Whenever I'm eating amongst sephardim, I get a major guilt trip for 1) not trying every strange looking dish on the table and 2) not taking 2nd and 3rd helpings of everything. It's cute though, definitely something warm about it.

Now that I think about it, our Russian family friend is also exactly like that.

Pushing food though doesn't seem to be an ashkenzai-american thing. We're too nervous about getting fat.
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ny21




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 07 2007, 1:27 pm
my parents are not sephardic and always pushed food on us.
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ny21




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Sep 07 2007, 1:28 pm
it is a american thing .
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Ruchel




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, Sep 08 2007, 4:21 pm
I don't know, Ashkenazim are as pushy as Sefardim in my experience. Frum and non frum the same.
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