If you could learn in Kollel all day

HindaRochel

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:09 am

Wouldn't you?
Intellectual work is still work, but oh how much fun!!!! Challenging the mind is great..it really lifts one. And to challenge one's mind with Torah, to argue points, to hear a good shiur, and to be able to have breaks to eat, and walk about (please don't tell me this doesn't happen. I live near many Yeshivas. They aren't out at only set times.)

Well I would love it.

Not to worry about dinner, not to worry about cleaning or caring for the kids, not to worry about parnasah...well working for parnassah...

That would be great.

Ruchel

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:13 am

Before I had dd I would have loved it. Now I'm burned out from all the learning (at university) and unable to stay still, and too many infos make my head explode Wink

. Even when I give a two hour lesson, I end up walking around. LOL

I really wouldn't be able to concentrate all day like that. I wouldn't be a good kollel man or kollel teacher at all, I fear. LOL

In my dh's kollel, many of those whose wife works prepare dinner, drive the kids to and back from school, and definitely take care of them. Many prepare shabbes without help, too. But yes, no work worry. Except for those who work when the kollel isn't having shiurim.

ora_43

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:14 am

I doubt I'd be accepted to a kollel.

Sitting and learning all day doesn't sound like my ideal, to put it mildly. Maybe 3-4 hours a day would be nice when my kids are older.

But for now, if I did have the choice of "worrying about" caring for the kids or sitting and learning (like if someone said - I'll babysit for free while you sit in shiurim all day), I think I'd stick with the former.

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:17 am

Not all day.
I want to learn how to sew, play drums, do wordwork, go back to school, write, make cookies with and for the grandchildren.
I don't want to come home wasted from a whole day.
And frankly, while I know that there is a LOT to learn, and more than enough to fill the mornings for the rest of my life, I'm not sure what I have a sustainable interest in.

AlwaysGrateful

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:26 am

Would I rather be a kollel bum (who, as you said, takes breaks constantly)? Maybe, although it seems sort of like a depressing life to me. Doing something you obviously don't appreciate enough, feeling like you're not accomplishing anything. Na, I don't think I'd want that much.

Would I rather be a serious learner? After seeing the schedules of many of them (who stick to the sedarim, learn bein hasdarim, have set hours at night and on Shabbos), no. It takes intense focus and passion for what you're learning to really sit there for hours on end, every day. The yetzer hara is strong. I don't think I'd enjoy it as much as you seem to think I should.

You know what I'd rather be? I'd rather be a SAHM. After all, you just get to go to the park with your kids and talk on the phone with your friends all day, right? And sure, you need to do some chores and errands, but you'd do them as a working mom too. Wow, SAHMs sure have it easy...I'd love to be one.

(If that last paragraph seems to be dripping with sarcasm, I assure you, it's not. I really would like to be a SAHM, although as a WAHM, I know it's harder than it seems to an outsider.)

Merrymom

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:33 am

You know what I'd rather be? I'd rather be a SAHM. After all, you just get to go to the park with your kids and talk on the phone with your friends all day, right? And sure, you need to do some chores and errands, but you'd do them as a working mom too. Wow, SAHMs sure have it easy...I'd love to be one.

Sorry, but you don't have a clue. I wish my life was like this but I'm lucky to have a few minutes to play with my baby and btw I did both. The only thing easier is that emotionally I find it easier to be a SAHM mother and I'm happier being there when my kids get home.

AlwaysGrateful

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:35 am

Merrymom wrote:

As I said, as a WAHM, I definitely understand that it's not quite that easy. But I essentially have both, since I don't have a babysitter while I'm working. I work while the baby is sleeping and the others are sleeping or otherwise occupied. Other than that, I'm in the same boat as a SAHM.

I suppose that's why I'd like to be one - it would be what I do now, but without the work!

ETA: And I guess I'm wondering what the point of this thread was in the first place. To show that people learning in kollel have it so easy? To show that most working men (and women, I guess) would rather be in kollel? That kollel is the easy way out?

I think that most people think the grass is greener on the other side. But I'm still not sure what this thread's goal is.

HindaRochel

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:40 am

[quote="AlwaysGrateful"]

Quote:

Find where I said constantly. I said "TAKE BREAKS" (EXACT QUOTE)

Quote:

and walk about (please don't tell me this doesn't happen. I live near many Yeshivas. They aren't out at only set times.)

not that any given man takes them constantly. I also didn't say it was evil, that they weren't "serious learners" just that they weren't on their tachat 10 hrs a day. Or even learning 10hrs a day.

Please reread and answer seriously.

Quote:

Would I rather be a serious learner? After seeing the schedules of many of them (who stick to the sedarim, learn bein hasdarim, have set hours at night and on Shabbos), no. It takes intense focus and passion for what you're learning to really sit there for hours on end, every day. The yetzer hara is strong. I don't think I'd enjoy it as much as you seem to think I should.

I don't think "YOU" should enjoy it at anything. I don't think "YOU" should enjoy eating chocolate, let alone doing anyone thing.

Quote:

You know what I'd rather be? I'd rather be a SAHM. After all, you just get to go to the park with your kids and talk on the phone with your friends all day, right? And sure, you need to do some chores and errands, but you'd do them as a working mom too. Wow, SAHMs sure have it easy...I'd love to be one.(If that last paragraph seems to be dripping with sarcasm, I assure you, it's not. I really would like to be a SAHM, although as a WAHM, I know it's harder than it seems to an outsider.)

Was a SAHM, was a WAH mom. Now working mom. It is easier to be a working mom imho. But a lot depends on what job you have.

HindaRochel

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:52 am

NOTE: This is really a matter of preference, not actually what one would do. I didn't word it perfectly. If moms still gave birth and still nursed I'd be home with the children, but that wouldn't be my preference.

I love learning new things, abstract ideas, applying them to new situations and old, debating etc. etc. And to do that and have it in Torah...exciting!
That is my idea of a good life.

HindaRochel

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 10:55 am

AlwaysGrateful wrote:

Merrymom wrote:

If you were following the "I HATE BEING A WOMAN" thread instead of jumping to conclusions I think you might better understand. One (I think amother) posted that her sister would have loved being in Kollel all day...and I thought, well wouldn't most people? I asked the question there and decided to pose it here.

I love learning, and I think it would be great.

sky

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 11:16 am

No. I could not.

Daven shacharis. Get home by 8:30 so spouse can get to work. Take all kids to babysitters. Get to yeshiva. Learn. Mincha. 1:45, time to pick up the kids. Get home. Give them a snack. take all the kids to go food shopping. Get home. 3:45. spouse gets home from work. (or bring kids to a second babysitter). Get back to learning. Learn. Get home 8:00. Eat supper. 9:00 back in yeshiva. 11:00 get home. Try to help spouse a little, straighten up, etc. 11:30 get to sleep.
6 days a week. (Sunday most likely without the kids part)

sky

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 11:34 am

sky wrote:

thinking about it some more I have about the same schedule because I'm a WAHM, I work in the evening and morning. However, I don't think I could sit and learn and argue over the same points all day. And if I did I think I would end up going round and round in circles.
I also don't think I'd be able to handle not having a day off for months on end.

hadasa

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 11:44 am

I would, on the conditions that - a. I have a good housekeeper deal with the house while I'm away, b. It's only in the hours that the kids are in school, c. It has babysitting on premises for nursing babies.

I do enjoy learning, but I wouldn't be able to handle someone else being my kids' main caregiver. Even now, they're with the babysitter way too much.

HindaRochel

Wed, Oct 20 2010, 12:06 pm

hadasa wrote:

this I understand. My youngest is 11 and complains about my not being home.

Part of my "would" is the lack of guilt- ie I would not feel bad for not being able to be home.

Again, this is just hypothetical since none of us have the opportunity...

But if I suddenly was given millions, wow...yes...I like your conditions Hadasa though natch I don't think at this point in my life nursing is going to be an issue.