Need Help Keeping Kids Dry

shopaholic

Mon, Aug 07 2006, 7:28 pm

I have a 6 yr old & 3 yr old who are constantly wetting themselves. I feel like I'm going crazy. I've tried charts, punishments, positive reinforcement. I've also tried taking them to the bathroom every 15 minutes but things get busy, I forget & the next thing I know, they are wet. I don't think it's a bladder problem. They are just lazy. My 6 yr old will go weeks without an accident & then it all starts again. Mad

HELP!!

Esther01

Mon, Aug 07 2006, 8:06 pm

I can totally feel for you,
you didn't mention if they are wetting at night or by day. I understood by day. assuming that I am right this is my advice to you.
your 6 year old I think, is old enough to take care of it him/herself. tell him/her that when he/she wets him/herself he/she has to wipe up the mess and change, put the wet stuff where it belongs (laundry room or so...)
give the resposibility over to the child. as long as you are taking them to the bathroom and changing them etc. your 6 year old is getting your attention and is not taking resposibility into his/her own hands.
try to ignore when it happens and let things take its own caurse. I think it'll pass with the 6 year old.

your 3 year old I think it's still normal for them to wet themselves. keep on doing what you are doing only to the 3 year old. hopefully it wont be as overwhelming. and eventually he/she will see what the older sibling is doing and will learn.

Hatzlacha rabah.

shopaholic

Mon, Jan 08 2007, 8:37 pm

Ok. I was searching for help on this topic & found my own post.

My 6 year old is ok now, but now the problem is my 3.8 year old. She has been wet when I've picked her up from school every day for the last 10 days. Only on Shabbos & Sunday is she dry because I am home with her & keep sending her to the bathroom (which she fights me on.) The pediatrician took tests & checked her & everything is fine. She is looking into other options for me before sending me to a urologist. Meanwhile I have tried a chart, offering a prize, Bubby offering to take her shopping to the toy store for a prize, telling her that she can't go to her friend's house even though the mother called today. She doesn't seem to care that she's wet. Her teachers are trying to help me by sending her more often, but with 17 kids, it's hard for them.

Any more help for a mother who is at her wits end???

greenfire

Mon, Jan 08 2007, 9:14 pm

The teacher is responsible to send the kids to the bathroom at certain intervals no matter how many kids she has. It is not fair that your kid should come home wet. Kids are distracted at 3 and should be constantly reminded. Make a chart for her and insist on more help from teacher. I had a problem w/one of my kids and her first year in school - cause she was afraid to ask teacher to go - I asked her for her help. In my dd case she did not have same problem at home so it was a little easier. They do have pull-ups but I would not think it good to regress her. Do you have a new baby - sometimes jealousy could cause them to regress. Don't just send her to bathroom when you remember - make specific times, as soon as she wakes up after she eats, before school as soon as she comes home, etc...

mama247

Mon, Jan 08 2007, 9:35 pm

I'm sure your doctor probably thought of this, but thought I'd throw it out there, just in case: Do your kids bathe with bubble bath? My kids always want it, but I don't let because doctor once mentioned (when I was having similar problems) that it can cause irritation which can lead to accidents. Every once in a while I give in and let them have a bubble bath and for the next week we have tons of accidents. Just something to think about.

withhumor

Mon, Jan 08 2007, 10:12 pm

OMG this may be myaha moment there, the bubble bath. I’ll concentrate and see if it’s so.

momof3 I wanted to ask you, when was the last time you tipped the teachers? I find it to be a small investment for my sanity and sometimes, that was the secret to all the wonderful problems. Sometimes not but it’s worth a shot.

shopaholic

Tue, Jan 09 2007, 10:22 am

[quote]momof3 I wanted to ask you, when was the last time you tipped the teachers? I find it to be a small investment for my sanity and sometimes, that was the secret to all the wonderful problems. Sometimes not but it’s worth a shot.[/quote]

I gave them a Chanuka gift (not $$) & I give Mishloach manos & a gift/$ at the end of the year. Round here ppl don't give at other times. But I do see them every day when I pick her up so I keep in touch with them about it.

[quote]Do your kids bathe with bubble bath? My kids always want it, but I don't let because doctor once mentioned (when I was having similar problems) that it can cause irritation which can lead to accidents. Every once in a while I give in and let them have a bubble bath and for the next week we have tons of accidents. Just something to think about.[/quote]

No, they don't use bubble bath. DH used it the other night but I ususally do baths & don't use it.

[quote]Do you have a new baby - sometimes jealousy could cause them to regress.[/quote]

Nope, no new baby & nothing at all has changed in her schedule etc.

Thanks for answering though.

mummy-bh

Tue, Jan 09 2007, 10:46 am

I just had this issue with my 5 year old. she didn't have a single accident in over 2 years, then 3 within a few weeks - all at school.
On further investigation, it turns out she is SCARED of the school toilets (she told me she once got her leg stuck in the toilet seat....) We're working on it.

On another note, I also have a son with urological problems, so I'm going to ask a few questions. Is your 3 year old AWARE of when she wets? Or does she not seem to notice? Is she a big drinker? Is she simply 'too busy' to stop what she is doing and go to the bathroom?

shopaholic

Tue, Jan 09 2007, 11:02 am

Quote:

Is your 3 year old AWARE of when she wets? Or does she not seem to notice?

It's hard to tell. She just smiles when I ask her if she felt it, or why she didn't go. This morning I praised her that I heard her go in the middle of the night.. 20 minutes later when I got her dressed, she was wet. I was fuming!!!! Mad

Quote:

Is she a big drinker?

No, not really & at home when she asks for a drink, I make her go to the bathroom after. It is something I should mention to the teacher though.

Quote:

Is she simply 'too busy' to stop what she is doing and go to the bathroom?

I think that's what it comes down to more than anything & I need to know how to get her to pay attention & go.

mummy-bh

Tue, Jan 09 2007, 5:40 pm

momof3 wrote:

Quote:

Is she a big drinker?

No, not really & at home when she asks for a drink, I make her go to the bathroom after. It is something I should mention to the teacher though.

Okay what I'm about to say may surprise you, but you really need to make sure she is drinking enough. I can't exactly remember the formula for how much fluid a child needs to take in (it goes by weight), but I would guess she needs in excess of a litre a day. Otherwise it can cause all sorts of problems with the bladder.

momof3 wrote:

Quote:

Is your 3 year old AWARE of when she wets? Or does she not seem to notice?

It's hard to tell. She just smiles when I ask her if she felt it, or why she didn't go.

Try and get her to explain to you WHY her underpants got wet. This might be hard, especially if she knows you get upset by it, so drop the topic into conversation casually and then don't mention it again for a bit. If she truly seems to not know or understand how it happens that she made without realising, perhaps you should be thinking about that appointment with the urologist.

momof3 wrote:

Quote:

Is she simply 'too busy' to stop what she is doing and go to the bathroom?

I think that's what it comes down to more than anything & I need to know how to get her to pay attention & go.

Just let her know that the game / video / meal / whatever does not continue until she has been and sat on the toilet. Then she will not feel like she is missing out by having to leave the room. Does her school have "toilet time"?

greenfire

Tue, Jan 09 2007, 6:01 pm

momof3 wrote:

Quote:

Is she simply 'too busy' to stop what she is doing and go to the bathroom?

I think that's what it comes down to more than anything & I need to know how to get her to pay attention & go.

Sorry but she is 3 not 7 you need to pay attention to keep reminding her until she gets it on her own. Schedule potty time as I stated above.

shopaholic

Tue, Jan 09 2007, 8:29 pm

Guess what??? She was dry when I picked her up today. I kept kissing her I was so excited. I really let her know how happy I was & proud of her & her Morah let her choose a prize & then I gave her a prize at home too. Lets hope this is the beginning of a new chapter.