Need help managing my time

2boyzn1girl

Wed, Nov 17 2010, 2:56 pm

This thread is in place both in this forum AND household management. I have the same problem at home and in the office.

First, my job. I have a fairly responsible position in a mid-size office. I find myself always playing catch-up. After 2+ years of always racing against the clock, I asked my boss for an assistant, and he acquiesced. I still find myself behind ALL the time, though it is better than before. I used to print each email, so that I wouldn't forget anything. But the pile got so big, I could never find the time to go through it. Now I use Outlook reminders. So I get somewhere from 80 to 120 reminders a day. Most of them I have to push off for another day. Then there's a pile on my desk, mostly urgent stuff.

If it were just the office, I would write it off as too much work, but I have the same problem at home. I have 3 kids, and should have a little bit more spare time. I find myself in a perpetual race against the clock. Never will you find me sitting with a coffee and reading. I go out on average twice a week, eating out with friends, shopping with my daughter, or errands. I rarely initiate the outings, but I guess if I didn't really want to go, I wouldn't. My house is messier than I like because I rarely have time to clean. A part of my Sundays is reserved for writing (I'm a columnist). plus my husband usually wants me to go shopping with him. and I'm always exhausted Sundays, cuz I host Melave Malkeh every week, and it gets really late by the time everyone leaves. The rest of the week, I feel like I can hardly manage the laundry and basic cleanup. I get cleaning help - about 10 hours a week, and I really can't afford more. I rarely ever talk on the phone, so there's no time lost there.

I need to figure this out on my own. In my previous job, a time management professional worked with me for a while, but in the long run, I don't think there was any major improvement.

mom4many

Wed, Nov 17 2010, 5:50 pm

It practically sounded like it was me writing this, with some minor differences!
I get similarly frustrated, but I can recommend that from time to time look at yourself objectively.

At the job, your boss would not have give you an assistant if it wasn't valid, nor if you weren't doing your job well. From a business point of view, it's worth allocating too much work to a worker than too little. So this attitude is what makes you overworked and it's unlikely to be you.

Now at home - you have 3 kids and really that could be a "full time job" in it's own right. But you work (for how many hours you didn't mention) + do plenty more as you mentioned. So no reason to feel inadequate by any means.

If there is something particular that you want to do and aren't doing it, you really should plan it at the expense of one of the things you mentioned. But if it's that the house isn't looking perfect 24/7, it sounds like you're doing plenty to warrant that.

OK, now that I comforted you, I need you to comfort me... LOL

OldYoung

Wed, Nov 17 2010, 7:37 pm

It sounds like you can use help in many different areas- good luck! I just had one thought regarding printing emails. Why don't you get your emails through gmail? I've found "starring" emails useful. I just star ones that are important and need follow-up. Once they've been taken care of, I "un-star" them. (You MUST start going paperless! LOL

)

2boyzn1girl

Wed, Nov 17 2010, 11:17 pm

I need more info mom4many, before I can tell u not to beat yourself up about not achieving all that you'd like to. For me, it's not the less than perfect house or the little sleep or the not having time to relax that gets to me. It's the stress that comes with it. I feel like it's taking it's toll physically, and I'm afraid how it'll affect my health long term. And short term, feeling stressed all the time is no fun.
Plus, I'm not letting myself off the hook yet. There's a reason I had this issue in my previous job, which is why I met with the time management lady. There must be something I could be doing differently, but alas it eludes me.
Regarding the email suggestion, I used to use categories in Outlook, wih urgent emails marks in red. The problem is the sheer volume.

mom4many

Sun, Nov 21 2010, 3:13 pm

OP, I wasn't serious when I said that you should comfort me. I don't want to detract from your issue. I still insist that you have too much on your plate be it at work or home (you admitted the volume of e-mails). That's probably why the time-management coach didn't do much for you.

Since the main problem is stress, the way I see it is you have 2 choices:
Utilize the various stress reducing techniques/workshops that exist.
Cut down on the work or things you do.