sub forum for imamothers losing their emunah

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 4:54 pm

I was reading the thread "share your secret-amother style" and I saw so many posts from women who were really suffering regarding frumkeit.

some seemed to hate their own lifestyle and others seemed to have a problem with belief.

I myself am suffering from some of these issues and yet I am afraid to ask any real life friends if they are going through the same thing. it would be so thereputic to have a support group where we could just vent our frustrations and our feelings with out having a million well meaning imamothers trying to tell us to speak to X Rov or read Y book.

I dont mean for it to be a place to bash Hashem or Rabbonim or the like. Rather a place we can discuss what issues we have and see how others dealing with the same thing do to keep themselves going.

im too shy to ask Yael directly so I'll just throw it out there and maybe someone else who thinks its a good idea can try to get it together.

thanks

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 5:02 pm

I think this is a good idea.
I feel for me, right now, its not so much emunah, but rather bitachon that I'm struggling with. The difference is emunah is believing in Hashem, in His existence. That I struggled w/ too - and not once but since early teenage years many times over and over.
Right now I feel that yes, He does exist. My issue is with bitachon - trusting that He is watching me, that He is/will do good for me...teva hatov lhaitiv, that e/t He is doing is good...I deal with this more when tragedy's happen, and then my fears go boom, into high-motion, with me being afraid that 'who knows? who knows what He will do next, who will be next Ch'v?' And then it goes on and one...but that's the gist of it.
I wish I was able to strenghthen my bitachon. I can't sit and learn. I find that I have zero concentration and paitience anymore. But I'm stuck and I dont know what to do.

marina

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 6:03 pm

please, that would be so helpful.

I didn't really read the secret amother thread that much b/c I thought it was about who picks their nose, but maybe I'll go back and read it now.

Sherri

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 6:07 pm

Theoretically this could be a good idea, but how is it not the blind leading the blind?

marina

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 6:11 pm

sherri, you can say the same thing about any thread for pple who have any particular problem.

it's not like the "spouses of alcoholics" group has an Al-Anon therapist on board to guide everyone along, do they?

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 7:45 pm

op here-

marina - since you are willing to say it under your own sn would you mind asking Yael or another moderator if we can start this?

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:02 pm

I would be interested, but I enough people here no who I am that I would be scared to even apply.

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:03 pm

Sorry, I meant to type "know". I can spell Smile

marina

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:09 pm

Yael is not my biggest fan... it might be better coming from someone else. But if there's no one else willing, I can try.

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:12 pm

can pple see what private usergroups imamothers are part of?

marina

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:14 pm

Yael can make it so that no one can see but the people in the group.

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:19 pm

I would be interested too.

sequoia

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:20 pm

I'm up for it!

I'm not going to ask Yael though -- she still hasn't responded to my request for a pet forum LOL

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:24 pm

can someone ask a moderator to ask Yael?

chocolate moose

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:45 pm

why make it private? let the person post what they want to ask about, and let the rest of us try to help her with it.

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 8:51 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

why make it private? let the person post what they want to ask about, and let the rest of us try to help her with it.

Ha! she'll be called a petulant toddler! (and I realize I did a lousy job arguing my point on that MO harchakos thread and allowed myself to get sidetracked which was a mistake and part of the reason I just stopped bothering)

PinkFridge

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 9:20 pm

I wonder what it would be like:
-People reassuring each other that it's ok and maybe healthy to be disillusioned with some sort of exit stuff going on
-If open, other people contributing and being perceived as sanctimonious and lots of flam ing
-If open, other people just checking it out, thinking maybe there will be some good chizuk for those "yemei hasina" we all experience, some of us more than others

For the people who want it, can you expand a bit more as to what you see it growing into, what you want it to grow into and what you want to get out of it?

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 9:43 pm

marina wrote:

Yael is not my biggest fan... it might be better coming from someone else. But if there's no one else willing, I can try.

you dont like yael?

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 9:49 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I want it because im in pain.

I got married when I was a teenager straight out of seminary who thought I knew exactly what I wanted. now a few years later I look at my life and im not really happy. I have many problems with the jewish community, with the way I am living my life, and how I am raising my children.

and the saddest part is that I have no choice anymore. im stuck.

I really want to talk freely with other women who feel the way I do. I want to not be labeled as an apikores because I have opinions that arent in line with mainstream orthodoxy. I want to vent how I really feel without having to censer what I say because pple will attack me. I dont want to be told that the solution to my issues are to read "permission to believe" or some similar book.

I want to know how other mothers answer their kids when they ask them questions about the torah. how do you respond one way when you truly dont believe what you are saying?

I just want support and to know that im not the only one out there. and I want support from those who understand. not from pple who are filled with contentment with judaism.

amother

Sun, Dec 12 2010, 9:50 pm

amother wrote:

marina wrote:

Yael is not my biggest fan... it might be better coming from someone else. But if there's no one else willing, I can try.

you dont like Yael?

I think she is saying that yael doesnt like her not that she doesnt like yael