Why are so many frum people scared of animals?

amother

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 12:43 am

detroitmom wrote:

I can't figure out why so many of the very frum (yeshivish or chassidish) are flat out terrified of small animals like a kitten!

What's the deal? (as Jerry Seinfeld would say)

Having grown up in a more yeshivish crowd and seen this firsthand, I'd probably say it comes from just not being around and exposed to pets. Most yeshivish families have lots of kiddies and not time or interest to raise a pet so their kids just aren't as exposed to it. And if they don't have the exposure, its unknown and therefore scary. Just my theory...

sugarplum

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 12:51 am

amother wrote:

detroitmom wrote:

I can't figure out why so many of the very frum (yeshivish or chassidish) are flat out terrified of small animals like a kitten!

What's the deal? (as Jerry Seinfeld would say)

I think so too and add to that the parents being scared and the kids pick up on it. I am scared of animals and working on not being but it's really hard embarrassed

Grandmama

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 12:55 am

Some people are really terrified of dogs or other animals. Some are told from when they are little that they are tumah and that they bite, to keep them away and not to touch them. Thus the fear develops and grows. Some people have a fear of bees, mice, or other creatures.
Some people are afraid to fly or afraid of the dark, or afraid of small spaces, etc.
Irrational fears are everywhere.
As custom dictates, we are taught not to have dogs, to scare away the tzedaka collectors, referring of course to guard dogs such as pit bulls or German Shepherds.
Cutesy little dogs are just not in style, as everyone is busy with their cutesy little babies, thank you.
Besides, there are always fish or birds if you really want a pet, and they stay in cages or aquariums.
Then there is the annual chol hamoed trip to the zoo, very educational and wonderful. Even the petting zoo is enjoyed by all, as long as its safe, and has nice cows and sheep and quiet little animals to touch.
Everyone is scared of loose wild dogs, as they should be. Pets to a family with many children, just don't have that awesome regard, as we invest and have joy and nachas from our dear children, our sweetest little pets.

ora_43

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 12:58 am

I agree with amother, they just aren't used to pets.

If you weren't used to people keeping cats as pets, seeing one in your yard would be like seeing a giant rat.

On the other end of the spectrum there are people who keep rats or snakes as pets, who would probably roll their eyes at how most people are afraid of even non-dangerous rats or snakes. It's all what you're used to.

If you're in an area with street cats, a little fear is healthy. In Israel there are street cats all over, I hope my kids see them as diseased and possibly dangerous instead of cute and fluffy, because the first approach is both more accurate and more safe (and I had cats for pets as a kid, so I have nothing against the species).

detroitmom

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 1:02 am

ora_43 wrote:

In Israel there are street cats all over, I hope my kids see them as diseased and possibly dangerous instead of cute and fluffy, because the first approach is both more accurate and more safe (and I had cats for pets as a kid, so I have nothing against the species).

I remember being in seminary and feeding a stray kitty that I felt sorry for. Boy did I get attacked by the other sem girls for that one!

One time on a tiyul when my seminary took us to Masada I lagged a bit behind. There was an adorable orange tabby, just randomly at the top of the mountain! And he was sweet and friendly. I put him in my lap and petted him.

That was 12 years ago and I'm still alive to talk about it Wink

Honestly though, I remember most Israeli strays as being very wild and unfriendly. I stayed away.

amother

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 1:03 am

pets are a healthy thing for children though. they help overcome fears, teach responsibility they are good companionship are good for anxiety etc. So to say we are busy with our families I dont think is really the reasoning. cuz people with grown children still dont have dogs... I think some people think they are dirty? and like someone else said tamei?

I'm sure its because of lack of exposure... I was afraid of dogs as a child cuz I was never exposed to them.. it's not a theory it's a fact in my life. I stopped being afraid of dogs the day I had to confront one.. It was my first job post graduate school and I had a home visit. I rang the doorbell and to my chagrin I heard a dog barking. My initial instinct was to run.. but I couldnt as that wouldn't be professional so I carried on with my visit. my intial visit with my client entailed holding the dog on my lap as it sniffed me up and down. and that was the end of my fear.

Had I met him 22 years before I probably wouldn't have been afraid for so many years....

detroitmom

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 2:33 am

amother wrote:

It's very true. My kids are much happier now that they have their doggie. He is so loving and accepts all their roughhousing with barely a growl.

That thing you mentioned about animals being tamei, the Muslims have a similar thing too. I think they're supposed to hate dogs or something or think they're evil.

Nice to know we have something in common. Exploding anger

I'm glad you got over your fear of dogs. Good for you. Two things: wasn't there a Tanna who could communicate with animals? Was it Yochanan ben Zakkai? Also I love that picture of the Chazon Ish feeding some stray kittens.

Does anyone know where I could find that image? I tried googling and couldn't find it.

amother

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 2:45 am

In general, I don't know why - though not being exposed to them as much could be a reason as other posters have said. I don't know any families with dogs or cats so I guess the only ones my kids come across are the ones in the park that are usually not on leashes and tend to be very friendly and since they are small they get scared by a dog running to them and barking loudly, etc. I know for me that my mother told me she grew up in a house with both parents who were Holocaust survivors and both parents would get extremely anxious, agitated and nervous when they heard dogs barking and I guess my mother picked up on their fear that they had and it became her fear...and maybe as a kid I picked up on it - who knows...I am trying really hard not to let me my kids see how uncomfortable I am around animals.

Candees

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 3:42 am

detroitmom wrote:

amother wrote:

sorry but we actually have a lot in common. just saying.

Raisin

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 3:51 am

I grew up in a house with almost every sort of pet imaginable, except for dogs. Cats, birds, rabbits, you name it, we had it.

I guess I am not a pet person - I still dislike picking them up and cuddling them though, despite all that exposure, although I am not scared at all.

My kids love pets though. Everyone they know has dogs or cats so they are very used to them. They wanted a cat or dog, but we compromised on a hamster.

ewa-jo

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 8:37 am

detroitmom wrote:

ora_43 wrote:

Honestly though, I remember most Israeli strays as being very wild and unfriendly. I stayed away.

I pet stray cats all the time... if they're friendly enough to come up to me. Sometimes, that gets some strange looks on the street...lol.

My son loves cats and when we're out, he's always pointing to them and saying 'cat cat'. (he also says 'doggie' when he sees dogs).

We have 2 cats at home who were rescued as kittens (they were being abused by arab kids... one cat is missing an eye because of it) and they are sweet and gentle around my small children. Cats are like most animals.... if they are hurt/scared/provoked then they will bite and scratch, but they won't do it stam.

We don't let the cats in the boys' room at night (obviously) but people have asked me if I'm scared of the cats hurting my children. Uh....no. I'm more scared of my toddler bonking the baby on the head with a toy that he's trying to 'share with the baby'.

Simple1

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 9:08 am

it's funny how this question popped into my mind when I saw this section. I admit I am petrified of dogs. I am only afraid of cats if I'm confined in a home with them, not afraid of being near them outdoors.

Part of this is irrational - I.e. I can't control the fear, as much as I know I end up looking silly. I try not to make it obvious to the pet owners that I'm keeping to the other side of the sidewalk, but they often notice but I can't help it. But part of the fear is based on the fear of being attacked or bitten. As a child my grandfather used to tell me about the time he was bitten by a dog.

I guess it has to do with not being used to dogs - it is hard to identify between dangerous dogs and friendly dogs. Sometimes when I go walking, some homes along the way have dogs that bark furiously and try to escape the gate, when I pass by.

sneakermom

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 9:16 am

I think it's all about exposure. I personally am very afraid of dogs. Okay...I'm a real chicken around any lose animal. Tame or not. I can be totally impossible about such things. We were at the park the other day, and someone let their dog off the leash...and it came up to me a large friendly sort, and I absolutely freaked out. Total trauma for me.

My kids though...love animals and are not afraid. They are upset with me that I won't absolutely allow pets. I have in the past when we were in the country. I let them keep stray kittens and other animals (on the porch) and they loved it. But after the summer, it's over. I can't bring it into the apt.

Also I think dogs for holocaust survivors evoke images of nazis with their big German Shepards and they developed an aversion to dogs because of that. And their kids and grandkids absorbed that fear.

I was a very fearful child especially of bees. I think if you are raised in an environment of fear as I was, you naturally are fearful of other things as well. My kids very frum kids by the way, are raised in a more open and safe way and they perceive the world that way as well. So no...they are not afraid of animals and I don't give them the message they should be. I always tell them....mommy's afraid it's my mishigas....the animal is really very cute etc.

chaylizi

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 9:55 am

I'm not afraid of animals. I'm allergic. I'm also wary of dogs that run around without owners. Rabid dogs are scary & you wouldn't really know by looking at one that it has something. My brother was bitten while minding his own business on the street & a family friend needed surgery after being bitten. I could do without that. We owned a kitten for a little while, but I have enough things to do. I could live without changing kitty litter. It also liked climbing in my baby's crib & was not averse to biting/scratching. We have fish. I'm perfectly happy that way.

Pandabeer

Mon, Dec 20 2010, 10:51 am

I used to love dogs - when I was young and my mother took me to the park, whenever she didn't see me, she went looking to where she last saw a dog

we used to have a neighbor with a very unfriendly dog that roamed around the steps. Once when I came home from swimming at night, I came into out apartment and there was the dog coming down the steps, and even knowing that I'm not supposed to run, the dog just kept coming nearer and nearer. then I bolted. I ran in the street, there was no one around and the dog came after me after a few minutes(that looked ages) someone came across the street with another dog and this dog ran to him. I fled home and closed the door after me

after that I was petrified - even to go out of our door

a few years later, while being on vacation, I saw police training their dogs and they taught us never never to run away from them, dogs can smell fear or they think you're playng with them
I'm not scared of them anymore b"h but I don't like them either