what do u think about this situation, interactive discussion

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What do u think about this situation, interactive discussion

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amother

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:01 pm

I want this to be a discussion that sort of builds on itself. Kind of like real life. You see something, think about it, then sometimes new information you find out changes that original perception. But that will all come later. As I get responses I'll shake it up a little so follow along!

DH and I were discussing this scenario earlier and wondered what other people thought about it:

You are out and about and see a youngish frum man you don't know on a very cold and snowy day carting around what looks like a very newborn baby, say 4 wks old or less. He is shopping at a grocery store and there is no mother anywhere to be seen, you watch for a while and realize he is alone...

What is the first thought that comes to your mind about this? Be honest... amother is enabled here so use it if you are embarrassed. What do you think about the man, how about the mother of the newborn?

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:06 pm

That the mother needed some well deserved sleep.

eschaya

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:07 pm

Um, I don't see what's wrong with this picture. My dh often would give me a break in the early postpartum period (and forever after, of course) by taking the kid(s) with him shopping. This way he kills two birds with one stone (relief for me from babycare, and necessary shopping) and I can rest. As long as the baby is adequately protected from the elements and the father is displaying appropriate care and handling of his newborn, what can be nicer? And it's great bonding time too. I'd probably say, "what a good husband, taking care of his wife and the home and his baby".

girliemom

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:11 pm

couple of things,

bec. you don't see the mother doesn't mean she's not around, she could've gone to the bathroom e.t.c.
the baby could be older than 4 wks. you can't judge age by the size
mother had a medical emergency so dad was in charge
mother was overstressed & needed a break
maybe the baby is a twin & mom is tied up somewhere with the other half

there could be many reasons. But really I would'nt find it that odd at all....

shnitzel

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:13 pm

They ran out of milk and mother needed a 10 minute break.

MrsMortgage

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:19 pm

Good daddy! Mom is a lucky duck

Rubber Ducky

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:45 pm

My first thought was that perhaps the mom was ill, so the daddy had to run the errands and watch the baby too. My first emotion was of compassion.

newlymarried

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 6:50 pm

My daughter was yellow when she was born, and had to go to the doctor every few days, to check if it was going down. one time my husband took her himself, and then stopped off to buy groceries on the way home.

obagys

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:00 pm

Being that my husband would do that for me, I would just think he's being a nice husband and good dad. I don't think I would even look twice unless I was trying to get a better look at the cute lil' baby.

ttbtbm

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:04 pm

What a super father/husband.
Doing an errand and giving mom a break!

amother

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:12 pm

OP here,... ok here we go.

Would it matter what time of the day it was or what the activity he was doing was? What if he was out in the middle of the day on a weekday talking on his phone holding a newborn and walking around in a mall? What if he stayed there for around an hour with no obvious purpose like buying something, and you knew his wife was not there because you saw him a few times meandering around that mall, and then saw him leave in a car alone?

Nuts

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:13 pm

I would pity him. Men aren't really made to take care of newborns alone.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:13 pm

I would wonder why you are spying on him

Ema of 5

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:16 pm

there are a lot of stay at home dads these days, especially with so many people out of work. maybe the mom works and the dad is home.

csb

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:47 pm

maybe he is...

giving his wife a break, and he figured while he cant go into work he will look for a post pregnancy/birth present for his wife. He is on the phone with his wife's sister to see if she has any good ideas, but alas, he does not find anything that fits the bill.

dont see anything wrong with the situation at all.

I went to the mall with my husband, toddler and about four week old baby one sunday because I felt like I had to get out of the house already. I dont think I really needed anything. Am I a bad mother????

amother

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 8:04 pm

I would find the second situation strange. But I wouldn't wonder too much unless I had reason to suspect that the man had kidnapped the baby. For example, if the baby was crying and he wasn't trying to comfort her...

Atali

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 8:04 pm

Why on earth would anyone think that it is a problem? If a mother can go shopping with her newborn then why can't a father?

amother

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 8:15 pm

Atali wrote:

Why on earth would anyone think that it is a problem? If a mother can go shopping with her newborn then why can't a father?

I didn't say it's a problem. I would find it unusual though. Most men don't hang around malls alone with newborn babies.

GreenEyes26

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 8:20 pm

OP, what's your point? Are we supposed to think this guy kidnapped the baby or something?

causemommysaid

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 8:22 pm

amother wrote:

Atali wrote:

Why on earth would anyone think that it is a problem? If a mother can go shopping with her newborn then why can't a father?

I didn't say it's a problem. I would find it unusual though. Most men don't hang around malls alone with newborn babies.

prob his wife was at a doctors appointment nearby and he didnt want to wait for her at the office. so he went to the mall down the block. then his wife called him to say she was done and he went to pick her up.

I guess it can look a bit odd to see a man in the role of caregiver at such a young age but I really woulndt think about it for more than a second.

and if he was kidnapping the baby than he def would not be hanging out in a mall.

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