what do u think about this situation, interactive discussion

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What do u think about this situation, interactive discussion

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Ruchel

Fri, Jan 28 2011, 6:48 am

BH, a kiddush Hashem!
Once upon a time frum men had a reputation of great involved fathers, this one is living up to it!

sequoia

Fri, Jan 28 2011, 6:51 am

I wouldn't think anything. A father spending time with his child is something to remark on?

Peanut2

Fri, Jan 28 2011, 6:58 am

I wouldn't pay too much attention. Someone out with a baby in the middle of the day is pretty unremarkable.

If I saw a frum women constantly staring at the man+baby and following them around I might have some suspicions.

MommyZ

Fri, Jan 28 2011, 7:17 am

Peanut2 wrote:

This! You have a problem with a father bonding with his newborn? Stop worrying about other people and mind your own business. (Sorry if that's harsh but really, get a grip. Not your baby not your issue. No harm, no foul, live and let live.)

I'm also curious as to why this would be considered intellectual? It's more nosy then anything else.

zigi

Fri, Jan 28 2011, 7:57 am

obagys wrote:

Being that my husband would do that for me, I would just think he's being a nice husband and good dad. I don't think I would even look twice unless I was trying to get a better look at the cute lil' baby.

dh did do this. he went shopping with the kids. the baby slept in the stroller, and my toddler was in the stroller and ds walked.

I don't see why a father can't take care of a newborn.

I guess he wanted to get out of the house and went walking in the mall. its too cold to take a walk outside. pple sometimes go to the mall to walk

JAWSCIENCE

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 6:21 pm

I see this all the time here. We have some stay at home dads in the neighborhood. We also have many families where whoever can get work does and sometimes that's the mom and not the dad. We have some dads who found great jobs with flexible hours while the mom was not so lucky. So he takes the kids on the days mom is at work and may do the shopping too.

What would my first reaction be? Probably that I would smile and wave at the baby. In fact I often do this. I love smiling and waving at babies who are looking around at me and the other shoppers. They usually smile and wave back. Everyone gets a kick out of it. Babies are cute.

Mama Bear

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 7:19 pm

I dont see a problem with this scenario at all.

If the man seemed lost, confused, agitated, not managing with the baby, etc, I'd approach and offer help. But I woudnt consider this situation strange at all. for all you know his wife is at a doctor's appointment. or hospitalized (like I was). Or just napping. who cares.

ElJayMom

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 8:33 pm

GreenEyes26 wrote:

OP, what's your point? Are we supposed to think this guy kidnapped the baby or something?

My thoughts exactly!

MrsMortgage

Sun, Jan 30 2011, 8:52 pm

I would call my DH to tell him to learn from this guy !

Inspired

Mon, Jan 31 2011, 12:27 am

I would probably wonder if he has a baby carrier.
Other than that, don't see what there is to think.

joy613

Mon, Jan 31 2011, 12:30 am

I also wouldn't think much of it. A nice husband and father taking care of his baby. What's the issue?
OP why don't you tell us now what YOU would think?

zipporah

Mon, Jan 31 2011, 1:05 am

In the States when I only had 6 weeks maternity leave, DH was primary caregiver for our 2 older daughters from that point on. So, there were times when he was out with an infant (I don't think you could tell a 4 week old from a 6 week old, and besides we started getting the girls ready for me to go back at 4 weeks or so) and by the end, he had an 18 month old and an infant in tow.

I think a more interesting conversation would be why this would even be considered worth noting...

The Orthodox Jewish community sometimes sets some pretty low standards for fathers (and the pressure on moms is WAY too high). By sometimes, I mean certain communities... yes, I know there are other DHs like mine.

chanchy123

Mon, Jan 31 2011, 1:36 am

Probably she's home doing whatever (maybe resting, maybe house work, I don't know.) She might be in a different store with older kids or with other kids. Maybe she had an important meeting to go to.
Definitely DH went shopping alone with DD 1 when she was an infant. Don't remember what the reason was though. Sounds pretty normal to me.
When I saw a non-frum non Jewish looking man flying on international flight with a four week old infant I was surprised and spent some time coming up with interesting scenarios.

chanchy123

Mon, Jan 31 2011, 1:43 am

Inspired wrote:

I would probably wonder if he has a baby carrier.
Other than that, don't see what there is to think.

DH would exclusively carry our first DD in the carrier (a wrap kind). He likes it better than a stroller. He still would prefer the carrier to a stroller when #2 and #3 were infants.
Sure he got some stares with DD 1, but I think now it's more common (also I would get stares with a carrier 5 years ago I think it was more the carrier than the guy wearing it.)

ora_43

Mon, Jan 31 2011, 2:54 am

amother wrote:

OP here,... ok here we go.

Would it matter what time of the day it was or what the activity he was doing was? What if he was out in the middle of the day on a weekday talking on his phone holding a newborn and walking around in a mall? What if he stayed there for around an hour with no obvious purpose like buying something, and you knew his wife was not there because you saw him a few times meandering around that mall, and then saw him leave in a car alone?

If he left in a car alone, I'd wonder what he did with the baby. Wink

But assuming you mean he and the baby chilled at the mall then went home, I'd think that either he couldn't find what he was looking for, or he was just looking for a place to hang out for a while to get out of the house. That's assuming that I thought anything at all, which I probably wouldn't, unless maybe I knew the guy personally, in which case I would just go say "hi" and hear from him what he's doing and not sit around wondering about it.

happyone

Mon, Jan 31 2011, 4:57 am

Baby is colicky and only good when taken for a walk. The weather was bad and the mall is indoors. Mom needs a break and dad does what a good dad should do, takes the baby for two hours out of the house and to a mall.

or, dad is out of a job and mom went to work.

I really see nothing wrong with this scenario.
definitely nothing worth having an intellectual conversation about.

DrMom

Sun, Feb 06 2011, 12:02 pm

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

I would wonder why you are spying on him

^^This.

Mrs. XYZ

Sun, Feb 06 2011, 12:18 pm

So OP, are we getting an update?

Quote:

I think that maybe the OPs husband was the man in the mall and shes wondering how people look at it.

ChutzPAh

Sun, Feb 06 2011, 12:26 pm

What's the point of this thread and why is it in the "intellectual" topics? Maybe if it was in the chit chat section....and why are you amother?

amother

Sun, Feb 06 2011, 1:06 pm

Sorry about the delay, OP here.

Ok lets further this... What if the man was someone you knew, though not well. but you knew his wife was ok, mentally and physically. You knew she gets out and does things, and you have seen her out and about, but its always the husband who is with the baby. Not the mother. You see him bring the baby to pick up his other kids at school. You see him at the mall with the baby, you see him at the grocery store with the baby. Obviously this isn't a one time thing.

Would you feel differently about the mother/ father?

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