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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:05 am
I suppose I'll put this here-
there is a post about a lady who's DH ate her supper. in her post, she writes:
| Quote: |
it's a big deal when you've been cooking and cleaning and taking care of the 6 kids since 6:30 in the morning, plus being up half the night with a newborn! |
and
| Quote: | | since I was busy with the kids non-stop |
I have 5 kids, soon to be six. and the above amother sounds so busy but I am wondering - doing what?
she doesn't sound like she works out of the house so I wonder, why is she so frazzeled?
I get the big kids off to school, then I have some quiet time till the next batch leaves.
the little one(s )go down for a nap, and I have time for myself too. I nap, clean, laundry whatever I want.
supper is ready at 5, and its not just pasta. its a protein, vegetable and a starch. usually I do a drink like lemonade and cookies or pudding if I have the time.
supper is done by 5:30, then DH and I eat in peace. the kids play on their own quietly. we start bedtime at 7ish and within 15 min all are in bed and bathed.
the big ones read and the little ones sleep.
there is a big chunk of time from 12-3 where I look for things to do! we do alot of extras too.
I know my house is not spotless, but the laundry is clean and folded/put away, the kitchen is clean every night, and the house is not a hurricane.
so why was this amother so frazzled? what exactly defines | Quote: | | cooking and cleaning and taking care of the 6 kids | that keeps her so busy? I wonder if maybe I am missing something that I should be doing!
and I'm amother cause no one here knows I am pregnant with #6!
by the way my oldest is 8.
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red sea
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:26 am
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Teach me! Teach me!Your house sounds so peaceful
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southernbubby
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:32 am
When my children were small there were several things that took lots of time:
1)Toilet training. I found that a newly trained child needed to be taken to the bathroom frequently and reminded frequently and could never be trusted with the paperwork!
2)Homework, particularly reading skills. Lots of time went into listening to reading, chumash, and other skills that needed one to one time.
3)Supervision when learning to ride bikes, swim, or outings to the park.
4)Mediating squabbles.
5)Endless carpools. Besides cheder there was swimming, Bar Mitzvah lessons, orthodontia, production practice, etc.
6)Doctor and dentist appointments. Someone was always catching something and often a child was home with a contagious illness.
7)Teaching children other skills such as sewing, cooking and the biggest one: DRIVING!
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nicole81
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:37 am
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Not everyone's children nap. My oldest, not even 16 months yet, is giving up her nap. On days when she doesn't nap, it's very difficult to find the time to get things done around the house, so I even get frazzled with 2. I don't know if this is her case or not, but those couple of extra hours can make a world of difference.
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imaamy
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:43 am
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Southernbubby, will you be my kids' pretend bubby? You sound so wise and like you've got it all down when it comes to kids! It seems your kids have turned out to be real mentchs too. Kol hakavod! I learn from you always.
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happy2beme
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:47 am
| Quote: | I get the big kids off to school, then I have some quiet time till the next batch leaves.
the little one(s )go down for a nap, and I have time for myself too. I nap, clean, laundry whatever I want. |
Where I live, school hasn't started yet. Of course you have time if all ur kids are in school!! but if u have 6 kids home, some who don't nap & one who makes u hold them all day, how do u have time for yourself? get a nap? ha! making supper is a big enough deal!!
I'm on the other amother's side!
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southernbubby
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:51 am
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Thanks imaamy, I could always enjoy more grandchildren! I did not have it all figured out when I was young and struggled like all young mothers do.
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Nomad
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:52 am
original amother - I dont even understand your post...it seems to me you are just giving yourself a pat I the back by saying how you can do it and the other mother cant
maybe if she had YOUR kids and was YOU, she wouldnt be frazzled.
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imaamy
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 9:55 am
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I agree with Nomad. No point putting the OP down if she feels frazzled. Southernbubby, I have an Aunt like you, kids grown and seems to have it all down. I remind myself she was probably going in 10 directions when hers were young too. You just have such good ideas on every topic!
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Imhappy!
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:05 am
Personally I think the reason you posted this as OP is because you don't want everyone to look at you like a bragger. Guess what that's exactly what I think you are  what exactly are you trying to point? That you are a great home maker and you serve lemon aid and cookies for dessert each dinner  ?? I'm sorry for all these emotions but you really got me upset here.
Seems like you have angles of kids and I really hope that they stay this way. The kids I have are the ones that like when mommy holds, plays and hugs them ALL THE TIME and they do not care if I wish to eat quietly with my husband.
I think you should count your blessings and not be so full of air about yourself b/c the same god that made your kids so well behaved and made you so very capable made lots of us differently.
( I might be a bit off topic b/c I didn't read the other post you're referring to)
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amother
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:07 am
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Hi! This is the OP from the "dinner thread"! Amother, if you would like an account of my day yesterday, I'll give you one. You are very fortunate to have so much free time during your day. I don't have that luxury.
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amother
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:13 am
hey- no one is putting anyone down. nor do I need a pat on the back- please there are many areas that I can improve on. and my house is not spotless, very often you'll trip over toys. and if am sick or not feeling good everything goes downhill. but on an average I am saying things are ok.
I am trying to understand if I have something wrong or am forgetting to do, what is it that keeps mothers busy?
like I said, I have 5. and they were all home all summer, no camp. right now there are 4 in school, but the little ones end around noon time. and that only started 2 days ago.
the baby B"H she still naps, but ive been there when no one napped.
yes I have had hold me all day babies, so you do. I still managed to do what I need, while holding them.
there still is time to fold laundry. and pick up around the house. and sew, and make cookies and garden and watch a video or two. and read, to them and myself.
like I said, my oldest is 8, so no bar mitzva lessons just yet, but I do all the doctors and other stuff Sbubby said! you didn't mention piano, ballet classes!
and right now there is only one with homework.
but that takes only 15 min tops!
and I do homework, while I make supper, so its not time spent alone on that!
I wonder how old that other amothers kids are. I cannot imagine anyone with 6 kids home all year unless they are sextupkets! or multiples. I'm sure some of them are in school, like mine! and yes I do carpool- sometimes 3 times a day!
good thing I put this in controversial.
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Mama Bear
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:20 am
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sheesh... I have ONE one year old and sometimes I feel like I'm busy nonstop KE"H... my sister has four and I'm lucky if I can reach her on the phone... amother, you have exceptionally well behaved kids, and perhaps youre not as much into housework as that other poster is!
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Mama Bear
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:23 am
both amothers:
I challeng you both to keep a log ONE day of what you did, hour by hour. I wouild be curious to see it. It's fun to read what other people fill their days with.
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amother
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:24 am
please, other amother- fill me in as to what your kids ages are, and I would love to hear how your day was.
and if she is into having a spotless home.
I gave up on that by kid number 2.
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amother
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:32 am
My kids are 8 7, 6, 4, 2 and 2 months. How old are yours? My oldest 3 are in school. Everyone else is home now.
DH and I like to have a nice-looking house. We are all much happier that way.
You never serve pasta for dinner? I hardly doubt that! You never have one night a week that dinner is light, especially when cooking for Shabbos at the same time? I live in an area where there are no restaurants for a break!
I'll be interested in hearing how busy you are once you have a newborn plus your other 5. Or how you feel when you are up half the night with a baby who eats every 2-3 hours!
I put a lot of energy into making sure everyone is happy and well-taken care of. I have very well-behaved children and content children.
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mom3boys
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:39 am
First of all, did the OP read the post?
here is a quote from that post:
| Quote: | | Thursdays are always hectic with pre-Shabbos preparations...cleaning, cooking, laundry. |
By the way, not every one is "Martha Stewart", nor does one have to be.
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shalhevet
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 10:47 am
| happy2beme wrote: | | Quote: | I get the big kids off to school, then I have some quiet time till the next batch leaves.
the little one(s )go down for a nap, and I have time for myself too. I nap, clean, laundry whatever I want. |
Where I live, school hasn't started yet. Of course you have time if all ur kids are in school!! but if u have 6 kids home, some who don't nap & one who makes u hold them all day, how do u have time for yourself? get a nap? ha! making supper is a big enough deal!!
I'm on the other amother's side! |
I've had all summer with 6 kids home (2 were only home for 3 weeks, who are in cheder). I've had a great time, and so have my kids, but I've got "nothing" done either.
The amother also said she has a newborn. A newborn can take up the whole day without any "help" from siblings.
The amother who started this thread - how much of the day do you have 6 awake kids at home (or even 2)?
Two years ago, before #6 was born I had them all out in the morning on days I didn't work as well, for the first time in years. I couldn't believe how long a morning was (8-1) and how much I could get done in the house.
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happy2beme
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 11:11 am
| Quote: | | Two years ago, before #6 was born I had them all out in the morning on days I didn't work as well, for the first time in years. I couldn't believe how long a morning was (8-1) and how much I could get done in the house. |
wow! 5 hours alone? I think I'd superceed martha stewart in everything  I could clean my house everyday, cook gourmet meals & desserts, shop for food & clothes, do the laundry & fold them (same day!), do my kids scrapbooks, have energy to do projects with the kids when they come home, take them to the park...
although, I'd probably get bored of having a perfect house then or so I convince myself!
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Mitzvahmom
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Fri, Sep 01 2006, 11:13 am
Here's my schedule (once kid's school starts)
Monday - Breakfast 7 am
Drop off 8 am (school all three ages 3.5, 6 and 8)
Me work 9 - 12
Me Classes 1 - 2:30
Me excercise 2:45 - 3:30 (G-d willing)
Pick up kids 3:40
Swimming for the two oldest 4 - 5
Homework 5:30 - 6 (while I make dinner)
Eat dinner 6 - 6:30
Bath/story...etc
If I am lucky they are in bed at 7:30... and asleep by 8:30
Then clean up/laundry/cooking for next day and squeeze in my homework until about 11 - 12 at night
(that's just monday!!!)
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