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Forum
-> Interesting Discussions
kitov
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 Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:04 pm
I took that line from a different thread, and I like it very much.
How about you?
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:39 pm
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It's true. Could be a gift, a knockoff, hefker ....
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cassandra
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:49 pm
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Why would someone own or flaunt a conspicuous possession if they didn't, on some level, want to be judged by it?
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chocolate moose
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:49 pm
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But, you know what? If the woman is obviously wearing her husbad's gym socks and a shmattah sheital, and is busy removing things that are too expensive from the conveyor at the grocery, give her a hand - anonymously if possible.
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kitov
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:54 pm
| cassandra wrote: | | Why would someone own or flaunt a conspicuous possession if they didn't, on some level, want to be judged by it? | I took this quote from someone who responded to p poster who judged a family unfavorably because the said family owned the latest model gaming and techy stuff.
Dressing up is a whole different story.
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shanie5
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:54 pm
| cassandra wrote: | | Why would someone own or flaunt a conspicuous possession if they didn't, on some level, want to be judged by it? |
Maybe it was a gift and they like it?
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gryp
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:56 pm
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It works the other way too. Some people can afford things but prefer to buy a cheap version and save the gelt.
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Mitzvahmom
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:57 pm
| kitov wrote: | | cassandra wrote: | | Why would someone own or flaunt a conspicuous possession if they didn't, on some level, want to be judged by it? | I took this quote from someone who responded to p poster who judged a family unfavorably because the said family owned the latest model gaming and techy stuff.
Dressing up is a whole different story. |
Maybe it was a gift from an agency, when I was a single mom my kids were offered video games etc.. I always said no because I feel it's a slippery slope, and I want my kids to be active not sitting and watching a screen.
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kitov
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 2:57 pm
| grip wrote: | | It works the other way too. Some people can afford things but prefer to buy a cheap version and save the gelt. |
And that is actually a good thing. 
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cassandra
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:03 pm
So we've concluded that we shouldn't judge people by one possession, because that might of been a gift, but how about a collection of possessions?
I think we can think something about someone who excepts a large number of frivolous gifts, especially if they are struggling to feed their family.
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Mitzvahmom
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:09 pm
| cassandra wrote: | So we've concluded that we shouldn't judge people by one possession, because that might of been a gift, but how about a collection of possessions?
I think we can think something about someone who excepts a large number of frivolous gifts, especially if they are struggling to feed their family. |
why is this an exception??? What if one organization gives a child a scooter, and another one gives the same child a video game?? What if an agency gives the parents a huge pile of clothing, all new. your going to judge them because of this?
I think the point of this entire post is that we do not know what is going on behind closed doors of people's homes.. Maybe they have parents that do not want to help them financially, but they are willing to take our their grandchildren and spoil them. Parents/grandparents do weird things like that, my family does. made me nutz as a single mom, I could have used the money they were spending on STUPID things, but I am not them and I cannot force them to give me the money instead of spending it on stupid things.
Until we can walk in each other's shoes we cannot judge..
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c.c.cookie
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:10 pm
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I think a good habit to adopt is NOT TO LOOK AT OTHER PEOPLE. Save us a lot of machlokes and aggravation.
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cassandra
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:12 pm
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I was talking about conspicuous things. People don't drive luxury cars, wear flashy jewelry, or obviously expensive clothing if they don't care what people think.
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Tamiri
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:19 pm
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If I don't see what they have, I won't be tempted to judge. But that defeats the purpose, doesn't it? So that's why people put it all out there: so we can all see what they have. We are encouraged to do so by Western society, and people seem to be happy to oblige.
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allrgymama
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:24 pm
@cassandra: some people "drive luxury cars, wear flashy jewelry, or obviously expensive clothing" because they care about quality and how much time/use/wear they'll get out of an item.
Personally, I was brought up in a home where my mother believed it was more important to buy a number of beautiful, good-quality, expensive sweaters and have them to keep for years and years. Since getting married, I've downgraded to much cheaper clothes (and cheaper clothes that are on sale, at that) and find that colors fade and materials pill. Why should I have to go shopping every few months when I can go shopping once a year or so?
Luxury cars also tend to last longer (from my understanding) and 'flashy' has nothing to do with the intrinsic worth of a piece of jewelry. I could buy cheap jewelry at Claire's that's also 'flashy'.
What happened to be dan l'kav zechus and not being jealous of what other people have?
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cassandra
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:26 pm
| allrgymama wrote: | @cassandra: some people "drive luxury cars, wear flashy jewelry, or obviously expensive clothing" because they care about quality and how much time/use/wear they'll get out of an item.
Personally, I was brought up in a home where my mother believed it was more important to buy a number of beautiful, good-quality, expensive sweaters and have them to keep for years and years. Since getting married, I've downgraded to much cheaper clothes (and cheaper clothes that are on sale, at that) and find that colors fade and materials pill. Why should I have to go shopping every few months when I can go shopping once a year or so?
Luxury cars also tend to last longer (from my understanding) and 'flashy' has nothing to do with the intrinsic worth of a piece of jewelry. I could buy cheap jewelry at Claire's that's also 'flashy'.
What happened to be dan l'kav zechus and not being jealous of what other people have? |
Most extremely high quality things are not conspicuous or flashy, since they are made for people with actual taste who have nothing to prove to anyone else.
If luxury cars last, I am not judging the guy who has been driving around his Lexus for 12 years. It's the one who trades in his Mercedes every year (yes, I know someone like that. And yes, if that is the thing they splurged on I wouldn't think much of it.)
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cassandra
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:34 pm
| Tamiri wrote: | | If I don't see what they have, I won't be tempted to judge. But that defeats the purpose, doesn't it? So that's why people put it all out there: so we can all see what they have. We are encouraged to do so by Western society, and people seem to be happy to oblige. |
That was essentially my point, and then I will bow out of this discussion because I find it exhausting and frankly my desire not to sweep my steps is so great that I actually clicked on this so that I wouldn't have to do that.
To make a blanket statement in bold caps with multiple exclamation points, such as the one that was made, is really not fair to the masses of people who want to be judged by their possessions.
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Tamiri
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Thu, Feb 10 2011, 3:38 pm
| cassandra wrote: | | Tamiri wrote: | | If I don't see what they have, I won't be tempted to judge. But that defeats the purpose, doesn't it? So that's why people put it all out there: so we can all see what they have. We are encouraged to do so by Western society, and people seem to be happy to oblige. |
That was essentially my point, and then I will bow out of this discussion because I find it exhausting and frankly my desire not to sweep my steps is so great that I actually clicked on this so that I wouldn't have to do that.
To make a blanket statement in bold caps with multiple exclamation points, such as the one that was made, is really not fair to the masses of people who want to be judged by their possessions. | ROFL. Sweep the stairs? That made me think you are sweeping leaves outside. Indoor stairs need water. Lots of water. Sweeping just shmears the shmutz. 
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