bar mitzvah check list

amother

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 7:43 pm

I was wondering if anyone here has made a bar mitzvah and has an organized check list that they wouldn't mind posting. maybe something that they used in the process of making all of the plans and preparations. I'm feeling very overwhelmed and unsure of where to begin and what is expected..... thanks so much!

tikva18

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 7:59 pm

I don't know if I have a check list - but what I did do was make an Excel spreadsheet with all of the invitees, their addresses, are they coming or not, for how much of the simcha will they be here, do they need housing, what gift they gave, and did my ds write a thank you note.

We're working up to that place again, im yirtze Hashem... I'm not ready yet Smile

amother

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 9:02 pm

Rebbe to teach leining.

Address list with columns for sent, reply, gift & thank you sent.

Invitations - First prepare wording, have a style of font in mind then order.

Thank you cards.

Book Hall.

Music.

Photo/Video.

Benchers and/or other parting gifts

Centerpeices.

Speeches.

Makeup/ Hair/ Wig.

Party Planner (optional)

Tables seating plan.

Clothing for family to wear.

Bar Mitzvah boys - hat, tefilin etc,

Caterer for shabbos kiddush.

tikva18

Mon, Feb 21 2011, 9:20 pm

YMMV. We didn't do all of that. No photos or video, no music hired - my ds and his rebbe played violin together - that was it. The caterer handled everything- I didn't have to think about details - oh and we didn't do it in a hall, just in the shul and that's where the meals were served as well. We did have a small melava malka at dh's work - which happens to be the caterer. OH, and we also didn't have a rebbe to teach leining - we had a friend make a cd and my ds learned from that. No party planner, no special make-up - just what I would normally wear and I did my own sheitl like always Smile

amother

Scarlet

Wed, Dec 11 2019, 12:40 pm

Bumping this up because I am in same boat as OP. Was anything above missed? I would rather think Na I don’t need that, then wonder if I forgot something! Thanks.

Esheschayil18

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 4:10 pm

amother wrote:

What an expansive bar mitzvah list...

amother

Lavender

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 5:00 pm

seating charts -bencher
seating cards
balloons
centerpiece
I forgot to put alot of place cards down and an elderly aunt
came over to me she was insulted and said " WHAT I WAS not invited ?

Ema of 5

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 5:09 pm

Esheschayil18 wrote:

What an expansive bar mitzvah list...

Seems like a regular list to me, unless you are doing the cooking yourself. Keep in mind, just because it’s on someone’s lists doesn’t mean everyone needs to do it.
Many halls (like the ones in schools or shuls) have a list of approved caterers, but they have to be hired separately.
I am going to go through that list, and post my checklist here in a little bit.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Dec 17 2019, 5:16 pm

Expansive is perfect! I can cross off what isn’t relevant but make sure I got everything. Thanks!

crosenblatt

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 5:23 pm

I’m getting ready for my oldest’s bar mitzvah in December IY”H. So based on your experiences, was anything missing from the checklist?

sky

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 5:28 pm

Make a list of what bar mitzvah boy needs. Obviously not all communities do all of this. But if you do.

Tefillin
Tefillin bag
(Tallis + bag)
Hat
Blazer
suit
shirts
shoes
Wool Coat or raincoat
Cuff links

I managed lots of spreadsheets
Guest lists
Return cards
Gifts
To do lists
Menus
Hosts
Etc
It helped s lot.

I also kept a spreadsheet of expense and wrote everything down to the soup nuts. It was helpful at the end to see what we really spent.

Ema of 5

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 5:29 pm

Ok, so after asking around, here is my list: (we are only doing shabbos, so I’m pretty sure there are things that won’t be on the list if you are making a weekday party)

Hall
Caterer
Anything the waiter doesn’t cover (waiters, tables, cloths, centerpieces)
Leaning teacher
Invitation list, separated into sections- shabbos, lunch, kiddush
Printer
Photographer
Gowns for me and girls
Hat/suit for bar mitzvah boy
New suit for other kid?
Shoes for anyone who needs?
Makeup for me and girls?

(I’m sure I’ve left some stuff out....)

Ema of 5

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 6:45 pm

sky wrote:

Just out of curiosity, why does a bar mitzvah boy need cuff links and a wool coat and a blazer?

solo

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 8:25 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

Just out of curiosity, why does a bar mitzvah boy need cuff links and a wool coat and a blazer?

Sounds like someone’s getting dressed up for thier big day😁 Mazal tov!

Ema of 5

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 8:28 pm

solo wrote:

Sounds like someone’s getting dressed up for thier big day😁 Mazal tov!

I phrased it wrong. I’m just wondering if in some circles those things are a NEED. Does that make more sense? My son will wear a white shirt, and a suit- like in every other shabbos. No need for a blazer, cuz the suit comes with the jacket. No cuff links cuz I am not buying him cuff link shirts right now. So I was just wondering if there are communities (or individuals) who feel those things are a necessity.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 8:44 pm

My sons didn't get a shabbos coat but we live oot. They did get a shaynecoat type of raincoat to protect their hats because it rains like every shabbos here! Blazer is their weekday davening jacket. They opted for cufflinks and French cuff shirts at bar mitzvah which is fine with me to help differentiate between their regular white shirts for everyday wear in yeshiva.

Hashem_Yaazor

Thu, Jan 16 2020, 8:46 pm

BTW, some people are makpid on the size of the Tallis kattan at bar mitzvah. Ask your LOR if that's something you should make sure your son has.