What's the biggest chesed w/most mesiras nefesh you've done?

amother

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 8:38 pm

took a pregnant friend to a few important medical tests... where she discovered the baby had passed away inside her (we knew their were problems, weren't sure what would be though), and then stayed by her side while she labored the fetus out in the hospital for over 24 hours straight. left my family who are all extremely dependent on me, including my wonderful and supportive in this matter but-not-particularly-domesticated dh, and baby who only knew how to nurse to sleep at the time.

it was HARD. it was the right thing to do. b"H for opportunities and for trying and succeeding when challenged arise. b"H.

yahser chochachen, ladies.

amother

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 9:29 pm

Compared to what I've read here, our chesed seems insignificant.

We have a childless woman with hyperactivity problems in our home often. She has an unhappy marriage and absolutely loves doting on my kids. Oftentimes the kids are extremely riled up when she leaves as she makes them very wild, and the timing is awful (right before bed, etc.). But the older kids are learning what it means to open one's home even when it isn't so convenient, so we invite her for simchas, open the door for her on Friday afternoons with a big smile even when the house is flying, etc. and listen to her endless litany of problems with a smile. She really seems not to have an easy life, so my heart goes out to her.

amother

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 9:41 pm

moving away from my family to my dh hometown and in laws Exploding anger

giving my desperate kids my dinner-even after they ate Bounce

going to the mikvah friday night a lone in the cold Rolling Eyes

being lectured for wrong doing in place of my sister Dont know

working 8 hrs as a newlywed to support my dh's learning Cheers

amother

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 9:47 pm

Not such mesiras nefesh...but something nice I wanted to share...
I was once in a nursing home, and I stood for 1/2 hour listening to a woman (who I had some connection with) in a wheelchair speak to me in Yiddish. I nodded and smiled for a 1/2 hour. My own silence was difficult for me. I don't speak a word of Yiddish, but I knew she wanted someone to talk to.

amother

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 10:53 pm

I love this topic. I feel that it is very important to spread the word that if you do something strictly for hashem he helps you in every way.

So for me I had a rough time in my life was waiting for my ex to give me a get and to not leave the country(people told me that he is planning to leave and not give you a get ever) I was shell shocked and went into my room cried my eyes out then fell asleep the next morning I went to work but just couldn't work sat on the chair and thought how can I get out of this rut. I was thinking of giving to hashem my meseires neifesh something that is very hard for me. (and that is anything to do with fashion. I love looking good love dressing in the latest clothes etc.) I took my bag and left work in middle of the day went to the sock shop and bought think stocking (palm). I went home put it on and cried a whole lot more from joy, that I was able to do this.
From that moment on, Hashem took me in his right arm and helped me get my get fast, find a fantastic husband, have an adorable child etc. I still wear it, and its still very hard for me but.. I WILL NEVER TAKE OFF THE THICK STOCKING!!

WWG1WGA

Tue, Feb 22 2011, 10:57 pm

amother wrote:

that is unbelievable!

amother

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 12:23 am

I could never remember all the things I have done (and continue doing) in this category.

Taking care of an elderly sick parent tops the list, especially one erev Pesach spent mostly running to and from a hospital, dealing with it all while taking care of a toddler and a family. Not having any help at all to juggle it all together. Definitely seeing lots of heaven sent rewards as a result afterwards.

Helping a woman who was being abused by her husband, and saving the kids from further abuse.
Doing it wholeheartedly, 24/7 with whatever it took, money, time, or personally scrubbing the house from basement to attic when there was not enough money to pay for more help.

Saving a family member from committing suicide, by providing for her needs, money, a listening ear day and night, and doing whatever she needed to survive. BH they are all doing beautifully today.

Isramom8

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 2:09 am

amother wrote:

That reminds me of an experience my dd had when she was 17. She visited a rehab hospital. There was a little boy with a tracheotomy that made it almost impossible for his speech to be understood. She engaged in conversation with him for a long time when no one else had the patience to listen to him.

We have no idea how truly awesome doing chessed is. There is a story of a woman who appeared to her friend after the first woman had died. She told her friend that she has no idea of the great reward awaiting her in Heaven because she gave a man directions to a home where he could collect tzedaka. But the first woman's reward was even more unbelieveable, she said, because she pointed to the house with her finger.

We also have no idea which acts of chessed we do are the most significant to others, and to Hashem. And we may never know about all the ripple effects of our actions.

hadasa

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 3:35 am

Thank you for this thread. Even though I live where I do with the express purpose of helping others, and I'm also raising a large family ka"h, the truth is that I rarely do actual acts of kindness that are beyond my comfort zone. This thread has inspired me to try harder.

amother

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 5:36 am

I do a lot of chesed, but there is one thing that causes a lot of mesiras nefesh to me.

I am not fluent in Hebrew and iti takes me a lot of time to read. Every once in a while I get messages to read tehilim for sick people. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't.

It is especially embarrassing for me to go to arranged tehilim reading for a person in danger, because they usually don't have tehillim with transliteration, and I end up finishing one book while the rest have already finished 5. Everyone is sitting in 1 room and basically staring at each other, and I only think about how eevryone notices that I am reading very slowly.
I do that nevertheless, because I believe in the power of tehillim, even if recited by a half-literate person like me.
I remember once, a friend of mine had a very hard birth and she and the baby were in danger - she was in her thirties already and it was her first child. I was asked to recite a perek on her behalf, and I did. As I was reading it, I started getting headache and sickness, because it was before breakfast, right after I said shacharis. I was feeling very weak, having to concentrate so much on unfamiliar language. I went on reading, hoping that the sickness that I was feeling was a part of pain that was meant for her and got transferred to me. As I was finished, I immediately felt better.
The mom and the baby survived.

chocolate moose

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 11:16 am

amother wrote:

I'm a bad person Twisted Evil

I can't join this thread, never did Chesed.

Baby steps. Hold a door open for someone. Tell another lady you like her sheital, purse, coat, whatever. Smile at a baby or little kid.

Mitzva goreres mitzvah !

Grandmama

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 11:25 am

amother wrote:

I'm a bad person Twisted Evil

I can't join this thread, never did Chesed.

There is no such thing as a bad person, only a person who does bad deeds.
Surely you are joking! There is no such thing as a person that never sins, I doubt there is a person alive that has never done any sort of chesed.

amother

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 11:43 am

Supporting dh who didn't have much self esteem till he became confident in his abilities- this one seriously paid off as I have a wonderful husband who now support me....
Speaking to parents of kids who just had the same surgery as I had (this type of surgery is usually done before the child is 2 or 3 yo, sometimes earlier and I had it done as a teen and as an adult) , explaining them how to hold their kids so they would not hurt them and how to comfort them. Also giving them chizuk that their kids will be able to have a normal life, as I have.
Cleaning up a house for pesach with dh after we just finished cleaning ours so that people who had just lost a relative would be able to sit shiva knowing that when they got up (erev pesach) they'd have everything ready.

I suppose we all do chesed without being aware of it. These are 3 example which I know helped people in a very definite way.

amother

Wed, Feb 23 2011, 11:43 am