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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Infants
11 Month old does NOT sleep in Crib
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RedVines




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 1:10 pm
I need advice. My 11 month old precious child will not sleep for more than 3 hours (8:30-11:00p.m) in her crib. By the time Im getting to bed she wakes up, even when I try to be good and put her back after I nurse she always cries again. I could do the crying it out method but she screams so shrill for so long that I just dont think it will work. I am still nursing. She just loves sleeping in my bed with me. I need advice on how to get her to sleep normally for the night. I am sleep depraived and the worst back ache EVER. Someone here must have something to share!!
THANKS!
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 1:16 pm
Wish you luck. Be firm feed her b/4 but not night time. My babys are just starting to sleep the night b"h. They are in their own room and I don't rush when they cry since sometimes after 3min they'll fall asleep,. You have to be firm eighter it's sleepy time or it's not.
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RedVines




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 1:20 pm
how firm? Like what should I do ignore? for how long? let her scream so high pitched? My almost 3 year old is in his own room and there is a crib in there waiting for her, I rolled her into my walk in closet (my pediatrition said I should) maybe its to scary...too dark.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 1:20 pm
how long do you let her cry it out? its tough and the hardest thing in the world when shes crying, but you need sleep or no one will be happy!
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RedVines




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 1:28 pm
sometimes 15 mins.. I dont know if thats too shortor too long.
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rydys




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 1:52 pm
15 minutes is nothing. after 15 minutes, go in so she knows you didn't abandon her and touch her, but don't talk, turn on the light or stimulate her in any way. then go out and wait another 15 minutes and repeat the process. She may cry all nigh the first 2 nights, but unless you want her in your bed for the next few years this is the only thing that will work.

There are many things we do as mothers that are difficult, and I think that allowing our children to cry is one of the hardest. HOWEVER, she is controlling you here (yes, she is old enough to do that!) bec. she knows that all she has to do is cry long enough and mommy will take her out. She needs to be shown that you are in control not her. Children appreciate that.

Also, she needs her sleep and so do you or no one will be happy. In the long run it will be better if you let her cry it out for a few days.
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yehudis




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 2:47 pm
Sorry, I disagree. An 11-month-old controlling? Thinking, "Now I am going to cry to get my Mommy to do what I want?" Come on.

She is crying because that's the only way she knows to express herself. And to let her cry for a long time only gives her the message that nobody cares about how she feels.

And what is wrong with an 11-month-old sleeping in your bed? She'll grow out of it eventually. And you'll get much more sleep if you just let her sleep with you than if you keep fighting with her.
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gryp




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 2:54 pm
check out these threads:
http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....3ad7b

http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....3ad7b
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RedVines




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 6:14 pm
wow two totally different opinions, thats why I love this site. so im still not quite sure which approach to take. Those other threads arent helpful, I already checked those out. I guess I just get freaked out by these things, like I am just going to have baby after baby , always in my bed. I definitly need a solution. Thanks for all the advice so far.
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Rivk




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 9:15 pm
What if you sit in the room with her until she falls asleep. Will she still cry if she can see you? Don't look at her - read a book or something. Then you can slowly move your chair closer and closer to the door every few nights until you are out of the room. Good luck!
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Tefila




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 9:19 pm
Atchually how about balancing both opinions.But if u don't mind then let baby sleep w/h u.
It wont be forever trust me and concerning control issue I'm not sure about that and have to concede w/h yehudis how can an 11mnth old know to control, a 2 yr old maybe but not a baby Confused
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deedee




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 11:18 pm
my babe is 13mts. I'm now getting her to fall asleep without nursing. I nurse her then lay her on her stomach and pat her back. she cries for a few min then falls asleep. next step will be to put her in her crib. for now I let her play in it and I point to it and say 'this is your bed' then I point to my bed and say 'this is mommys bed'. sometimes when she falls asleep on me I'll put her in the crib but when she wakes up its back to my bed for now.
it doesnt bother me much cause I have a big bed and I love cuddling up next to her when I go to sleep LOL she is growing so fast so I'm trying to enjoy every min with her!
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RedVines




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Mar 10 2005, 11:32 pm
Thanks a lot to all of you fine mommies, it was very insightful. I am nursing her to sleep which I assume is where I should start. Seeing as how I am not ready to close that chapter I guess I do need to wait it out and enjoy this time with her. It will not be forever and soon she will be in her own bed in her own room. I like your approach deedee! something to try in a few months, although I did try putting her in the crib in my sons room for the night and she just flipped out. I sat on the bed so she could see me and it didnt really work. she just super mad.
Thanks for letting me vent and for helping me deal!!!
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Pickle Lady




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 11 2005, 12:31 pm
Oh I am so with you on this subject. With my oldest we had to deal with "reflux" and vomiting at night. I couldn't use the cry out methos. One thing I read was that babies like routine. So if every night you xyz before bed she will get to know thats what she does at the end of this routine. For me this worked the best with out much crying.

Levis knows his routine.. pajamas...shema and to sleep.
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micki




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, Mar 11 2005, 1:12 pm
I think the first thing you need to do is decide WHAT your position is.
if you decide to keep her in your bed, you are not allowed to confuse her some nights and say "ok but tonite you'll sleep here"

and if you decide that you want her from this and this day on to sleep in her own bed, then you have to be strong and firm enough to stick to this decision- you don't get to say "ok but this night you are crying too much so fine you can sleep with me"

you have to decide first- to me it sounds like you are not sure what to decide.

read all the pros of co sleeping and cons. read the pros of own bed and cons. since there are 2 options, you may choose whatever you want. there is no right there is no wrong. its what YOU decide.

now once you decided you have to stick to it, regardless of what happens. there is no going back because you do not want to send her confused messages.
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raizy




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 20 2005, 10:30 pm
mikki it is easyeir said then done. offiocally everyone sleeps in her or his bed at night but by the time the morining roles around I have 3 or sometimes four kids camped out in my or my hubby bed.

what am I suppose to do. they seem to come in in the morning hrs. like from five a.m. and on.
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ilvmommyhood

Guest


 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 20 2005, 11:15 pm
I had a baby who controlled me. We caught them. I was proud but annoyed at the same time!
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deedee




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 21 2005, 12:40 pm
Quote:
what am I suppose to do. they seem to come in in the morning hrs. like from five a.m. and on.

why dont you lock your doors? they will get the message and go back to bed.
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hadasa




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 21 2005, 1:05 pm
Deedee - kids know how to knock, and LOUD Rolling Eyes . I'm actually good at teaching my babies to sleep through the night, from about six months on, with a minimum of "crying it out". But once they move to a bed What I've tried a few times to make a hard rule that everyone must sleep in his bed, but after a few nights of being woken up by 2-3 kids in a row, I found it easier just to sleep with the door unlocked, and whoever ends up on the floor in my room - oh, well, they'll learn sometime.
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princessmommy




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Mar 21 2005, 3:45 pm
Have you tried the ferber method? Worked for me.
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