Picky Kids & Dinner - Help!

obagys

Tue, May 03 2011, 5:25 pm

So when you have multiple kids, obviously it's going to be hard to please everyone at dinner time. I have one child won't eat pasta of any sort, another who doesn't like chicken, my husband can't have red meat so that's usually out, etc etc...Generally, I try to make at least something I know everyone will eat (ie, rice), but someone seems to always be upset and hungry. When this happens in your house do you:

a) Say too bad, this is dinner tonight - either eat or you'll be hungry
or
b) Allow the child to eat an alternative dinner (cereal, yogurt, etc)

I feel mean about enforcing option A, but when I allow option B, it sometimes makes the other kids jealous if what I made isn't their "favorite". So then they all want cereal or the alternative dinner (which upsets me when I've spent time making dinner - not to mention all that food will otherwise be wasted). Allowing something different also discourages them from trying new things, because they know they can just fall back on something else they know they like.

What does everyone do when this happens in your house?

yo'ma

Tue, May 03 2011, 5:32 pm

I go with a. If I'm making something when I know one kids specifically doesn't like, I try to make another dish I know they like, whether it's a side or vegetable, just so they'll eat something. I don't offer a bowl of cereal because then everyone will want that Confused

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, May 03 2011, 9:30 pm

My kids aren't so old yet, but we already have this problem. I'll pretend I have advice, but honestly, it bothers me as well. I usually just make what I know my 3 yr old will eat, and let my just-turned-one year old eat baby food if he really doesn't want what I've made. I know this won't last for long, and I'm nervous that I'll have your problem when they get older.

My advice (which I don't follow, but I feel like it would be easier for older kids) is to find a food that they don't love, but that they will eat. Something like a peanut butter sandwich, or crackers and cheese. But you have to know your kids to make sure it's not something they really like, but still something they'll eat if they really don't like the food.

For much older kids, I would tell them to make something themselves on those nights. Honestly, I would give them turns to cook for the whole family as well. (I can afford to be idealistic; I don't have kids this old yet.)

obagys

Wed, May 04 2011, 12:44 pm

OP

My husband says to let them eat matza & cream cheese instead, which they all like (probably too much, though). My bigger issue with that is that getting them to bentch after is always a struggle, they are always so lazy about bentching and then I have a new issue to deal with on top of the dinner issue!

underthestars

Wed, May 04 2011, 1:31 pm

Well, let me begin by saying that if you have children, you will probably experience this at some point in the developing years. It's so nice to have this forum to discuss it- when my kids were small, we mothers just suffered quietly.

I have found over the years, that I do a combination of things. I begin by making a list of meals that I will cook for the week, and each day a child can "pick' his dinner (within reason). This way each child knows that one day there will be a dinner that he/she likes. Then, I usually make a bit more, so that on a day that a child doesn't like the dinner served, they can have the "leftovers". (I do all my cooking on sunday-it takes about 2 hours to make dinners for the entire week) There was also a time when they were younger that I allowed them to eat either cereal or PB&J, but on condition that they made it and cleaned up after themselves, otherwise they were stuck. BUT, and most importantly, dinner time was still fun time and not stressful time. We had music on, or talked, or still tried to have fun, even if the dinner wasn't "up to their standard". It usually worked, and sometimes other mothers sent their kids to my house to get their kids to eat. I have found though, that usually you can find reasonably healthy meals that kids enjoy. I have learned that breakfast food (eggs, pancakes, oatmeal, etc) can also be dinner food.

yaelinIN

Wed, May 04 2011, 2:07 pm

The same way I do for any other misbehavior. If it is a lunch meal, I will offer a healthy snack a couple of hours before dinner (I don't usually do snacks for the kids) since they have after school activities and the length between lunch and dinner is longer, but for breakfast (one of my kids hates oatmeal, our preferred breakfast) and dinner (I have a general picky eater) they can wait until the next meal.

Yes, I am a mean mommy. Very Happy

ETA a sentence my brain forgot to put in!

mha3484

Wed, May 04 2011, 2:53 pm

A all the way. I was a super picky eater growing up and my mom always let me get away with B and I wish she hadnt. Now I will try almost anything but it took years and years and years for that to happen. I wish she would have encouraged me to try new things.

MiracleMama

Wed, May 04 2011, 4:17 pm

I wont serve something I know any one of my kids detest and then say too bad that's dinner. That's really not fair. But if they're just being picky about it that particular day, or complaining about the shape of the pasta or something ridiculous, then it's oh, well, too bad. Fresh fruit is always available and breakfast is just around the corner.