Is this true or is it just something society feeds us?

saw50st8

Mon, May 30 2011, 6:53 am

I think its important to realize that sometimes you can have your dream, if you give up other aspects of life.

Here's a simplistic/stupid example:

You want to travel around the world but don't have enough money. You can backpack and do odd jobs here and there. However, you can't do that married with 7 kids. So, do you choose to travel? Or get married and have the kids?

Each choice you make in life leads to closing one door and opening others.

lamplighter

Mon, May 30 2011, 4:38 pm

It always annoyed me when I read these interviews with stars and they have their "rags to riches" stories stating that it was because they worked so hard and wanted it so badly bla bla. There are many people who work hard, or want things badly and aren't given equal opportunities.
That's life.

Maybe we should send this thread to the DH who is unhappy that he is not being supported whilst in kollel- I bet he wants that badly enough...

PinkFridge

Mon, May 30 2011, 7:13 pm

lamplighter wrote:

And check out what kind of quality of life these celebs have. Do they have loving families? Can they eat more than 500 calories a day? What's the price of their success?

marina

Mon, May 30 2011, 8:18 pm

if you want it badly enough, I don't think you are going to necessarily get it, but you'll have a good shot. Definitely a better shot than the one who sits on her couch with a fatalistic view.

For example: I have a close relative who was told she was stupid many times in her youth. An obnoxious family member even refused to let his children play with her because he was afraid the stupidity would rub off.

She could have just said, "hey, brains aren't my department and maybe I should aspire for a more manual job or forget a career altogether." She could have easily gone that way.

But this close relative was determined to prove everyone wrong and have them eat their words. And even though it was difficult and she had to take some classes and exams twice, she has just now graduated from medical school. And the kids of that obnoxious family member... well, let's just say they are not graduating from medical school.

ysydmom

Mon, May 30 2011, 9:03 pm

I answered yes because even though Hashem runs the world we still have to do our hishtadlus so yes if you try hard enough Hashem will see that and help you out. Even if something is not good for you and you keep davening for it with the proper kavanah Hashem will give it to you.

There are times though that we think we are doing our hishtadlus when we really aren't or it might just not be the right time.

I feel though that when I want to do something it gets done because I am motivated to do it. There are stumbling blocks but I get through them one at a time.

willow

Tue, May 31 2011, 12:28 pm

lamplighter wrote:

I agree look there are a lot of really talented people sometimes they are discovered and sometimes not.
Think about Susan Boyle all her life she was ok with where she was (at least it seemed).
Then you have these young teens being "discovered" while others are not as they are just as talented and determined to be famous.

Petra

Tue, May 31 2011, 12:46 pm

Not true. Everybody always says, "I set my mind to it and did it..." but this doesn't take into account that many people change the "it" half way through and end up sacrificing and giving up a lot of things along the way. A human's appearance of "control" is not reality.

grin

Tue, May 31 2011, 1:03 pm

LeahsEma wrote:

and a lot more people say "I set my mind to it and...didn't succeed" even though they also sacrificed and gave up a lot of things along the way.

"hakol bidei shamayim" - everything is in G-d's hands aside form our own fear of Him.

amother

Sun, Jun 12 2011, 5:01 pm

ultimately no one can't achieve anything they want no matter how hard they try, if Hashem doesn't want it to happen it's not going to happen.

just like if Hashem wants something to happen to us that's good He'll make it happen we don't need to put in any effort

if you're talking about more mundane things like doing well in our career, obviously I think some people have a lot of energy, ambition and drive. some people can be even really ruthless, which is not a very attractive trait, but it gets them places. there has to be a limit though ,one can't be willing to trample over others

if one has no determination or aspiration though in life they won't get anywhere

in a way I guess if one really wants something, they try and try and they don't give up and they go about it with energy, as well as emotionally expressing to Hashem through prayer why they want then (provided it's good for them of course) maybe He will give it...but it's no guarantee at all. as everything that happens to us in our lives is decided by Hashem. even the little things that may not even occur to us I think!