what to say to people screaming at me?

finprof

Sun, Jun 12 2011, 11:55 pm

I have a 10 lb dog who looks like Toto. I can't walk him (on a leash) around the block without being yelled at by my frum neighbors for ""bring that thing into the neighborhood". Its gotten to the point that I dread walking him and am honestly considering moving because of this!! What should I say to these people? "He's friendly, "He's safe and on a leash", "He's only 10 lbs!" none of these things help!

zipporah

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 12:03 am

DrMom wrote:

How about "this 'thing' is a dog. It is perfectly legal to own one. His name is Toto (or whatever). Care to say hello? He's very friendly."

Legal or no, if you like dogs and you live in an area where people don't like them, then you need to decide if you can handle people being vocal. If the dog is small and the neighbors still are that unhappy, chances are they aren't going to come around anytime soon. Some people don't care if their neighbors are upset as long and just go about their business. But it doesn't sound like OP feels that way.

amother

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 1:10 am

I don't blame you for wanting to move... people can be like that but they can be like that about anything. You have to decide either you care what other people feel and think or don't. If you don't care what they think then walk them and let what comes out of their mouths just bounce off the sidewalk and back at them. It's a great opportunity for you to use skills that you may not know you have to learn to ignore what people say when they are simply ignorant, rude or misinformed. They don't know about pets they have not been exposed to them. So for them the dog is dirty and tamei etc. which may or may not be true but really once you decided to have a pet and love the pet it doesnt really matter what they think. Just clean up after your dog train him not to wake other people up by barking incessantly in the evening and most of all enjoy him!! That's your right!! people may think my stocking aren't thick enough or that my sheitel is too long, others may think I take up to much space when I park or a million other things but really as long as I know I am not breaking the law and not being disrespectful of others it doesnt really matter. It really doesn't and I can live my life and enjoy it with not caring what others think and you should too!

amother

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 1:27 am

Once upon a time we also had a 10 pound dog. Reactions from our neighbors and friends varied from "why would you want that thing?" to so-called jokes like "want me to shoot it for you?" And can't forget all the helpful comments about how having a pet is not kosher and that we are not allowed to take care of our dog on shabbos, etc. etc. and therefore we must get rid of him immediately. Rolling Eyes

I don't know what it is but it just seems like for the most part frum people and dogs mix like oil and water. Good luck getting your neighbors to change. I have no advice cause mine never did.

DrMom

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 1:58 am

I wouldn't **relocate** for a dog, but I'm not a pet person, so maybe my ooinion doesn't matter.

I'm also not someone who is overly concerned with what my neighbors think (as you can tell from my above post), so long as I am not infringing on their rights.

Living in an intolerant neighborhood with officious neighbors would be a good reason to relocate.

Debbie

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 10:47 am

finprof wrote:

Your dog sounds far less intimidating to me then some of your neighbours.
I wish I knew what to advise but unfortunately the anti dog attitude is rather ingrained in some Frum people and often they have no idea why they dislike dogs.

On another note we have three cats and someone once asked my husband how we could justify having three cats when other people can't afford to feed their children;my husband had to explain that one thing had nothing to do with the other and besides he gives a regular donation to Tomchei Shabbos as well as other tzedaka's.

cookie1

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 7:00 pm

I have a cat, and have had one all my married life. Comments I got were 'Arent you afraid your son/husband will forget all the Torah he knows'? And "why would you want a filthy animal like that in your home", etc etc. I completely ignored any and all comments, and eventually, people grew to love my cat and even brought their kids over on Shabbos to pet him when I had him out on a leash. Now, many years later, people are actually thanking me for 'exposing' their children to pets since they (the kids, now adults) do not have the phobias their parents (my neighbors) have, and are much more healthy and well adjusted! Many of the kids, now married, have pets, too!!So hang in there, and do what is good for you! I love dogs too, bring him over to me anytime!! LOL

amother

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 10:32 pm

I'm a neighbor of a "frum dog" and I am sick of having to check my lawn before I let my kids play in it. The dog does not belong resting in my yard, peeing in my yard, and certainly not pooping in my yard. I am tempted to leave a nice king size bar of chocolate out one day........

There are also 2 other "frum dogs" in the neighborhood who are allowed to roam freely. NO thanks!

If you are not doing any of the above, then enjoy your dog and ignore the comments.

Barbara

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 11:16 pm

finprof wrote:

"Yes, Miss Gulch."

finprof

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 11:33 pm

amother wrote:

Honestly how can you even think of saying such things!?! It is hurtful and evil people like you who give frum Jews a bad name!

I am a very considerate dog owner! I always pick up after my dog! He is always on a leash and I never even walk him on the house side of the sidewalk. Plus, I always cross the street with him when I see people who I recall have been afraid in the past.

I hope you can all see now what I am up against on a daily basis. How would you ignore people shouting things like that?

mummiedearest

Mon, Jun 13 2011, 11:38 pm

doesn't the gemara mention people keeping ferrets as pets? people come up with the most interesting prejudices.

ftr, I'd love to own a ferret. they're so cute. and I can just see people's reactions. especially if I dress it in a neck bandana and cowboy hat...

DrMom

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 12:16 am

finprof wrote:

I am a very considerate dog owner! I always pick up after my dog! He is always on a leash and I never even walk him on the house side of the sidewalk. Plus, I always cross the street with him when I see people who I recall have been afraid in the past.

I hope you can all see now what I am up against on a daily basis. How would you ignore people shouting things like that?

That's really outrageous. You should trade in your cute 10-lb Toto for a big doberman.

amother

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 12:19 am

We had a cat once, to try to get rid of mice. Well my DH fed her fancy feast out of cans, and of course, she never caught anything. So one nice day, she scratched DH and he yelled at the cat. When he let her out in the yard, she ran away and never came back. That is the end of the story of our cat.

I am not afraid of pets, but I like them behind cages, or in the zoos. I would not tell a neighbor what she should or should not do, and they are out of line.

ewa-jo

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 2:12 am

People need to MYOB.... I dunno... tell your nosy neighbors that you have friends with dogs whose houses were saved from being burglarized because someone tried to break in but heard a dog barking and got scared, so they moved onto the neighbor's house and cleaned out all their valuables. Smile

We have cats - they were rescued from the Old City... from being abused by little arab boys. My sons think they're like teddy-bears who are alive.

IMO, all the nasty Israelis who are un-necessarily mean to the cats will come back as one in their next gilgul! If you don't like them, just ignore them, no need to be mean.

marina

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 3:13 am

mummiedearest wrote:

We have a ferret. For fun, I try and dress it in barbie clothes while the kids chase me and try to free it from my fashion show. That's what passes as shabbos afternoon entertainment at my house Smile

cookie1

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 8:27 am

Hi DrMom-It says that if you own a cat, you willl forget all the Torah you ever learned, or somethng like that, in the gemara somewhere...guess u never heard of it..neither did I until someone kindly told me (after commenting on my cat)..

DrMom

Tue, Jun 14 2011, 11:09 am

cookie1 wrote:

Maybe I learned it once but forgot it when I got my pet cat. 8)