openminded chareidi girls high school

ChossidMom

Thu, Dec 12 2013, 2:53 pm

sarahd wrote:

Oh, I agree. But I think there were a LOT of parents at that time who did not realize how dangerous the internet is.

So what's your point? Sunny90 stated that most of her friends had internet and are still frum today. This means what? That unfiltered internet for teens is ok???

My point is that a parent has to know exactly with what kind of kids their daughter will be associating. For some people, kids on Iphones or other internet is a dealbreaker. It would be for me. Maybe it's ok for the OP with the question. But she should be aware. Like I've said, I would prefer to have my daughter in a strong Dati Leumi environment than in a weak Charedi one where the internet is the "forbidden fruit" which beckons. You're talking to the mother of a 16 year old. That's why I react strongly to this stuff.

sarahd

Thu, Dec 12 2013, 3:23 pm

No, my point was that whereas at that time it was not uncommon to have unfiltered internet due to parental ignorance, today it's really inexcuseable.

5*Mom

Thu, Dec 12 2013, 3:40 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

I could be off base. But from what I understand, Ko Tomar is a school where the policies don't match what's actually happening with the girls.

This is outdated information. No longer the case.

sunny90

Thu, Dec 12 2013, 4:01 pm

ChossidMom wrote:

sunny90 wrote:

amother wrote:

Thank you for responding. My daughter is very comfortable with dressing modestly, BH. She is not into flashy, tight clothes or blue nails. She doesn't have a smartphone- often uses my Kosherphone now that I have a smartphone. We visited Peninei Chen and she loved it because it was warm and was filled with Anglos. I liked that she could learn a full bagrut and that the takanon is not too shticky not because she wouldn't comply but because that's not what I want to teach her is the ikkur of leading a religious Jewish life. Where else should we be looking?

Watch out. The principal is great but there are some seriously messed up girls there. Think boys, unfiltered internet and maybe worse. I will not go into detail but please be very careful.

Ahem. I was in Ko Tomar after it had started going down the extreme BY path and I had friends with boyfriends. And most of my class had unfiltered internet. Yes we are all still frum today despite the pressure we were under religious-wise from the school. No schools are immune, and I think that half the battle parents are fighting are the schools nitpicking at all the things that are not the ikkar of frumkeit.
I know many nice girls who are in Pninei Chen. I'm sure there are troublemakers too, because what school doesn't have them?

Most of your class had unfiltered internet? Wow! I'm speechless. Seriously.
I'm not into nitpicking at all and I'm all for putting the emphasis on the really important things but I think that unfiltered internet definitely classifies as one of the important things.
In any event, a parent really has to know where they are sending their child nowadays. Lives can be ruined. Maybe you think I'm being melodramatic. That's fine.

CM I was not at all implying you were nitpicking.
I said that unfiltered internet does not = seriously messed up girls. I didn't say having a filter isn't important--WE have a filter on our Internet! I said that KT also had girls who hung out with boys. And when I said nitpicking I meant a school basically telling girls that wearing a long skirt past your ankles is basically an aveira but not putting any emphasis on helping the girls be enthusastic about frumkeit.
My friend and classmate passed away two years ago from cancer lo aleinu. They gave a little speech about her over the school loudspeaker. You know what they had to say about a wonderful girl who did so much chesed, had a ton of ahavas Yisrael, and taught us what being brave and strong was? "She was such a good girl--she always had her shirt tucked in."
REALLY??? How are those not skewed priorities?

Isramom8

Thu, Dec 12 2013, 4:02 pm

Chossidmom - what strong DL girls' high school? Maybe there's one you would consider to be in this category.

ChossidMom

Thu, Dec 12 2013, 4:09 pm

sunny90 wrote:

Which just reinforces what I said about how you have to really, really check out a school - both the girls AND the school. Not simple in our day and age. Lots of skewed priorities around, unfortunately.

amother

Thu, Dec 12 2013, 6:21 pm

I'm the poster who sort of took over this thread from the OP who was writing 2 years ago. Thank you + this has really been so helpful. I'd like to find out more about Peninat Hachinuch in Jm. My daughter wants to be around other girls who are not rebelling or constantly pushing the limits that the school sets. Does anyone know more about it? Also can anyone tell me about deadlines for high schools in general?

Ruchel

Fri, Dec 13 2013, 7:41 am

I heard from alumni that the demands in Ko Tomar are getting higher and higher.

Isramom8

Fri, Dec 13 2013, 8:07 am

I'm sorry, but I heard very negative things about Peninat Hachinuch from a young woman who went there. There is no limit to the complaints she has about that experience. I tried to tell a friend of mine who wanted to send her daughter there, but she persisted in sending her daughter there. The kid lasted there for a very short time and said she's not going back there. Now my friend's daughter is in a weak dati leumi high school but one that the girls at least like.

I can ask both of these families if you can contact them, if you want to.

Isramom8

Fri, Dec 13 2013, 8:12 am

The demands at Ko Tomar are getting even stricter. Pizza shops are banned. This is current info.

My impression there was of a great schism between the demands of the hanhala - who drafted a four page takanon that seemed to try to out-Bnei Brak Bnei Brak - and the girls' actual behavior. Not for us.

For example, they have a no makeup policy, even outside school. Even the Bnei Brak BYs don't have a no makeup policy; you just have to be sensible about it. So this Ko Tomar girl wore so much makeup at her brother's wedding along with a dress that made her look like Barbie. People were shocked. This isn't chinuch.

Last edited by Isramom8 on Fri, Dec 13 2013, 8:16 am; edited 1 time in total

Ruchel

Fri, Dec 13 2013, 8:13 am

Isramom, between demands and what the girls are used to, certainly is also what I heard.

amother

Sat, Dec 14 2013, 5:42 pm

Isramom8 wrote:

I really would like to hear more about those complaints. It is one of the schools we are considering. Does anyone know about Darchei Sara in Yerushalayim?

5*Mom

Sat, Dec 14 2013, 6:21 pm

I would strongly recommend that you speak to people irl about the schools you are interested in. Relying on second- and third-hand impressions from anonymous women on the internet is not the best way to choose a school for your child.

A good place to start is NBN. They often have contact information for parents who have children in a particular school and you can get more names and numbers of real people that way. When evaluating information about a school, you need to evaluate your source and their frame of reference as well.

Ruchel

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 7:06 am

YES. Parents, alumni, students, ex parents of students, ex students, and also the director are the way to go!

DrMom

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 7:15 am

Isramom8 wrote:

B"H we now have a girls' high school in Raanana. It's the continuation of Chorev elementary school here. The high school is run as a Bet Yaakov and is geared especially for girls who grew up in a mixed environment like our city. My daughter is in 9th grade. She is happy because she didn't want a more modern school, nor a less modern one.

There are BY rules but they listen to the girls. For example, they just allowed backpacks instead of side shoulder bags because the side bags were heavy for the students to lug around.

Why would they have a problem with backpacks? They are much healthier for your spine than a shoulder bag. What does this have to do with yiddishkeit? I must be missing something....

Isramom8

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 7:54 am

The thinking is that backpacks pull back on the blouse, which results in accentuating the chest area. Most Israeli Beit Yaakov high schools and seminaries require shoulder bags for this reason.

My daughter's new BY type high school decided to make the switch to allow backpacks for comfort and health. Students may choose from among three preselected styles.

Isramom8

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 8:20 am

OP, I can't PM you the contact info for my friends who are ex-Peninat Hachinuch parents because you are amother. You can PM me if you want to.

Ruchel

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 8:27 am

I had missed the backpack thing! It's a new discovery for me... Sad

cinnamon

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 12:23 pm

Ruchel wrote:

I had missed the backpack thing! It's a new discovery for me... Sad

It's been around for ages. Even Lustig had a few years where they didn't allow backpacks. They do now.

Ruchel

Sun, Dec 15 2013, 12:25 pm

Last time we inquired into alia/yeshivish open/etc in Israel was 3 years ago.