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TAKING A LOAN FOR RENT?!!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 4:25 pm
Dh wants to take out a loan FROM A BANK cuz he owes rent two months. Money is tighter than tight. I don't have money to go to the grocery to buy water for my baby's bottle or pampers for my two yr old... ok, but a loan? I think it does not make sense. He says 'we also need to pay all the bills...' He's right. His father has $ but dh is sooo embarresed to ask AGAIN. Our landlord already went to him to ask for rent when we pushed him off till the 14th and he needed the money for his mortgage. He is a pain in the neck but I don't blame him. Dh is the only one of his siblings who doesn't earn a nice living, he probably takes it personally. His father usually criticizes him when he knows he can't afford something...We're going to my parents for shabbos cuz we can't afford to stay home. they usually buy us stuff for the kids, pampers, cereal, jars and formula.... OK, what do we do?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 4:36 pm
ive been there, money was tight and we couldnt afford to buy food for shabbos or diapers, so my mom helped out. and we took out a loan from a private place not a bank. it wasnt too terrible, but not the greatest thing in the world, since you have to pay off the loan and the interest. what does your husband do? maybe you can get a job, maybe your husband can find a different job, what skills does he have, maybe his siblings or his father can help him find a better job. maybe getting a second job is good too.
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Sparkle




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 4:38 pm
Wow. I am so sorry. I really feel for you. B'h things have been better lately since I started my own business but we lived like that for a few years and it is REALLY tough. I don't have any ideas except maybe to try to find ways of making some extra money on the side or for DH to find a new job...but I'm sure you've thought of both those ideas already so I'm not sure I'm really helping you. I guess the point it that I understand what you are going through Crying
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 4:39 pm
Thanx for your quick reply. I can't get a job. Babysitting would cost too much. He can't get a diff job he was already unemployed for four months... they promised a raise but u know how it goes.. Maybe a gemach would be good but.. where? does anyone have connections or something?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 4:42 pm
You do not take an interest bearing loan to pay rent. If dh wants to pay the rent, then take a gemach loan, which will have to be paid back relatively fast but will buy you a few months.

If things are so tight maybe you can talk to a free financial consultant ( I think there are jewish org's that might do something like that) or apply for govt aid & jewish org food aid depending on the situation.

Rent is usually one of the first bills to be paid. Roof over your heads and food on the table are the core bills. No matter how tight things are. Other bills should fall to the wayside first.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 4:54 pm
how about wellfare? if your husband doesnt make enough you might qualify and they give you some workshops or whatever to help you find a job, it might be helpfull, your kids will go to school eventually and it will cost more money, your 2 year old is nearing the time when he/she will need to go to school. do you yourself have any skills?
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 5:03 pm
I agree that it's best to finda private loan first.

NExt, apply for all the gov't help you can get if you haven't already: WIC, Food stamps, Utility Bills, Rental subsidies?

A couple years ago, I was a moron and missed the deadline for utility help. I did it last year, and my family of 3 people got around $800 in utility help (heat and elec) this year. Also, I applied for food stamps after my son was born, and we got over $300/mo. The numbers may not represent what help you could get, but if things are so tight, you MUST be eligible for something.

Don't make the mistake myself and so many others make, that they are too proud or too embarassed. This type of assistance is for people like us....people who are trying and just not making the most making ends meet. This is a way Hashem can be sending you (and your children) parnossah for now! May He all give us respectable parnossah soon!
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 5:27 pm
thanx everyone. I don't qualify for anything. not even insurance....
bec we saved $ from our wedding for a 'down payment'... it's not alot but too much for them. I have wic and just got child health plus for my kids... we're starting a business... takes time till it picks up.. if it does. meanwhile, it's hard. We sort of live a double life cuz no one in their wildest dream would think that we're missing any $. We drive the latest cars. Go on vacations. Two cellphones... I tried minimizing but my dh is soo used to a better life that he can't control himself. Loans, credit cards... My fil actually paid up a fifteen thousand debt we had with a million cc making us promise it'll never happen again. Uh huh. whatever.
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 5:32 pm
so, your living beyond your means. your spending more then your making. is that it?
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shalhevet




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 5:34 pm
amother wrote:
We drive the latest cars. Go on vacations. Two cellphones... I tried minimizing but my dh is soo used to a better life that he can't control himself.


I think you've answered yourself.

Taking another loan is just getting into more debt.

You need to sit down and decide to act like responsible adults and parents with your finances.
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 5:45 pm
Agree with mummyof6 100%!
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ShiraMiri




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 6:06 pm
The problem is, once you sign contracts for cars, cell phones, credit card bills - you can't just cancel them. The OP is probably tied into her current debt obligations for the next few years so the damage is done. She mentioned some savings for a "down payment" that were holding them back from getting more state assistance. I think whatever amount of money that is needs to be used to pay down the current debt. Definately get a financial advisor to help consolidate your current bills into one monthly payment with a lower interest. Talk about ways to cut sown on your lavish lifestyle - no more vacations, eating out, entertainment, shopping sprees. If keeping up with the Jonses means spending until you are penniless - what good is that?
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 6:11 pm
That's all true about obligations, but OP didn't mention that--it doesn't sound like she or her husband are ready to grow up and do without toys if the rent hasn't been paid. Confused
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shoy18




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 6:17 pm
I don't mean to be rude but your fund for a house should be used to pay your landlord and going to a gemach just wouldnt be right. People who go to gemach dont drive fancy cars and put thier kids in jacadi (example), you want to go to a bank fine. stupid is what stupid does.
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JMto2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 6:22 pm
Why don't you do babysitting in your house that does bring in money especially to feed your children. I think you need to sit down with your husband and make a budget you do not have to let everyone know but cut down on vacationing until you are on your feet again or on other luxuries you have to do yours find something you can do at home.
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MommyEsty




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 6:27 pm
here we have a few loan gemachs. its jewsh orgnisations or people who lend money with out intrest. you can pay back over a few months or how ever long you need.
perhaps you have something like that where you live?
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 6:29 pm
shoy18 wrote:
I don't mean to be rude but your fund for a house should be used to pay your landlord and going to a gemach just wouldnt be right. People who go to gemach dont drive fancy cars and put thier kids in jacadi (example), you want to go to a bank fine. stupid is what stupid does.


I agree.

Aren't there always complaints about people who drive fancy cars getting financial help (whether from schools or tzedaka organizations)?

Now we see what's going on. Mad
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amother


 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 7:17 pm
Thanx crayon for your ultimate support. Salut
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chocolate moose




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 7:26 pm
we got married with a lot of credit card debt and studetn loan debt. we had to learn to live within our means....and pay back everything we borrowed.

a debt counselor can help a lot and it's free.

p.s. why are you buying water for a baby's bottle? why are you buying water at all?
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Crayon210




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Oct 26 2006, 7:27 pm
LOL I thought I was seeing things...I had the same question, SaraG. :-D
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