When an overabundance of tragedies strike in one family...

amother

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 11:21 am

Does the concept of a curse on a specific normal Jewish family exist?

How do we explain an overabundance of tragedies in any one family? I am referring to serious problems such as illnesses that are totally unrelated and non genetic, accidents, premature death, divorces, and totally unrelated calamities, that are all experienced in one family and continue (even though the family performed much Chesed/Mitzvos before and took on themselves additional Teshuva, Tefila and Tzeddaka as a remedy)?

What was the Lubavitcher Rebbe ZT"L's attitude towards families that have such a situation? What was his advice?

Do Lubavitchers believe in Segulas for mazel? If yes, what are they?

ShiraMiri

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 11:24 am

I was told that the concept of an eyin horah, or a curse, really does exist and can have devastating effects. There are kabbalistic things can be done, but you need to go to a knowledgeable rabbi. I can PM you with a name and phone number if you need it.

amother

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 11:41 am

Marney wrote:

Thanks. Would this be in NY? Have you heard of any personal stories where people were helped by this specific individual? I'd love to hear (w/o names ofcourse), if yes.

ShiraMiri

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 11:47 am

This rabbi is not in the NY area, but he has connections all over. I believe he travels to NY pretty frequently, but he can be talked to over the phone. He himself does not like to be known as someone "special" who can help detect or overcome ayin horahs. He has other rabbis that he consults for individual circumstances. So, he likely has contacts in NY he could refer you to. He himself IS an amazing person and has helped countless people, including my family and myself. I don't want to get too specific on the public board...

amother

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 11:59 am

Marney wrote:

To PM you, I'd have to divulge my imamother username. I'll just give you an email address (not my name) cklein123@hotmail.com. Thanks in advance for whatever info and guidance you give.

amother

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 12:50 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

I don't know who or what or when or why, but I have noticed that families with more than their share of tragedies have problems.

1- What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

2- You must be very young if you think that you can judge the severity and quantity of people's problems, if you're not living in their homes. It's often the ones you'd least suspect that have the worst and the most problems.

3- There's one rule that always holds true. That is that there is no 100% foolproofness with any theory.

4- The people who know the most are the ones that know/think they don't know the most.

Motek

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 2:54 pm

amother wrote:

Do Lubavitchers believe in Segulas for mazel? If yes, what are they?

Don't know if this qualifies as a segula but the Lub. Rebbe often told people to check their mezuzos and tefillin. Mezuzos are directly associated with shmira. It's not only whether they are kosher, but also if every doorpost has a mezuza, if it's placed properly, if the parshiyos are put in properly etc.

Tefila

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 5:01 pm

Quote:

I don't know who or what or when or why, but I have noticed that families with more than their share of tragedies have problems

great observation Rolling Eyes

Then what about that concept of why do good people suffer and bad people not Question

Please don't say you know the answer or suspect the answer, b/c even people who are greater then us DON"T. Exclamation

We try to improve in whatever area we can. But we don't know the real reason why something bad happens to us, . Besides each Jew is responsible for each other so what happens to one Jew should effect the other . And can sometimes be a reflection on an entire community..... who knows? ONLY when moshiach comes will we know 4 sure !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

chocolate moose

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 5:04 pm

Perhaps no one understood my loshon!

I am saying, that I have seen that when a couple loses a child and then perhaps a grand parent or two, that it puts a strain on the marriage.

I have seen couples divorce after tragedies.

Tefila

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 5:08 pm

Quote:

I have seen couples divorce after tragedies.

Yes sadly I have seen that too. Sad

But some marriages and commitments has b/come even stronger b/c they have been through horrific things together, only the two of them could understand each others feelinjg fears etc. and their love grows immensly.

Thanks for clearing up your above post Wink

ny21

Thu, Nov 16 2006, 5:14 pm

sadly a girl passed away from lukemia when I was growing up .
then her brother died in a car accident.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Last edited by ny21 on Thu, Nov 23 2006, 11:17 am; edited 1 time in total

livalittle

Thu, Nov 23 2006, 12:32 am

I do wonder if some families or if people in general do have more sufferingthan others. Sometimes I think that eveyone suffers equally - to an extent - and relatively. Hate to be a pessimist - but the reality is that everyone has their share of problems - for some in may come in the form of one tradgedy after the next, but for others it may be like the comparison of a slow painful death - everyone has their battles, struggles, pains, suffering - it just comes in different forms and in different stages in life. For some of us - it's when we're young, and for some of us, it's later on in life. For some, it's a known calamity, and for some - it's silent suffering.

I remember learning in early elementary school that when Moshiach comes, we'll all be lined up - and we'll be facing a wall. on that wall will be hanging bags, hundreds of bags - with names on it. In each bag, a persons life will be contained - their joys, their struggles, their personality , talents, strengths, weakness - etc. We'll all have a turn to pick a bag. I think we;d each pick our own.

Anyway - what we should know is only joy and Moshiach should come and eradicate pain, death, and all suffering from this world.

amother

Thu, Nov 23 2006, 9:50 am

I've heard many Shiurim discuss this issue. Life has its twists and turns and each person is only one dot in a long line of history. It's always good to have in mind that it's not over until it's over. And- it's never over. Because even if one person's Mazel doesn't seem to be all that promising, he/she will have children, grandchildren, and on, whose Mazel might compensate and Ch'V the reverse, when people have very good Mazel, not to assume they have it made in the shade for generations to come.

Motek

Thu, Nov 23 2006, 2:18 pm

amother wrote:

How do we explain an overabundance of tragedies in any one family?

Maybe the family themselves can come up with an explanation. Maybe they have information that others aren't privy to.

amother

Thu, Nov 23 2006, 3:32 pm

Motek wrote:

amother wrote:

How do we explain an overabundance of tragedies in any one family?

Maybe the family themselves can come up with an explanation. Maybe they have information that others aren't privy to.

Are you saying- if bad things happen repeatedly, they must have done something to deserve it?

I don't think there's any Gadol that would agree to that theory.

amother

Thu, Nov 23 2006, 4:03 pm

Motek wrote:

amother wrote:

How do we explain an overabundance of tragedies in any one family?

Maybe the family themselves can come up with an explanation. Maybe they have information that others aren't privy to.

I am familiar with such a situation, and Rabbonim have said that we don't understand everything, nor should we try.