For Mothers of large families k"h in small apartments

amother

Mon, Mar 19 2012, 9:21 am

Unitl what age can you put a child to sleep on a bunkbed?

When do teenagers start resenting the lack of space to hang out?

How do you tackle the one shower mirror situation?

Basically Im a mother of six children k'h my oldest is 9 yrs old and I dont see us moving into a larger space than we have right now because of our financial situation so Im wondering how large families manage in small spaces.

Any ideas advice welcome.

anonymous because im embarrassed of my financial situation and hurt and frustrated that I cant buy my own apartment or house.

amother

Mon, Mar 19 2012, 9:49 am

First is the mother's attitude, the most important thing. She always has to be smiling and happy and counting her blessings, and the children have to feel that they have everything in the world. With such a mother, they do have everything!
Second, as they grow older, the boys usually sleep in Yeshiva or elsewhere, so I don't know if you have boys or girls. Therefore a family of 12 can (and does) manage in a 3 or 4 bedroom apartment.
Third, kids can adapt to any situation, and be happy about it, if there is humor and laughter in the house.
It doesn't matter if they sleep on a bunkbed, have portable mirrors, take turns showering, and use the space under their beds for their private things. The idea is to help them enjoy their lives within their means.

grin

Mon, Mar 19 2012, 10:10 am

amother wrote:

btw, they're also going to fight no matter what, so even if this happens, don't take it too much to heart. make sure that each child has some private place- it can be a solitary drawer to put their treasures into - and their own bed - whether it's a bunk, pull-out, or whatever.

teens hang out irrespective of physical space, it's more a matter of a general attitude of acceptance, although social norms do take a part in this, they all learn to share the mirror, etc.

OOTBubby

Mon, Mar 19 2012, 10:14 am

I'm a mother of a large family (now all married) and raised them a large home, not an apartment (it became much larger when we added on at one point, but I'm taking about before that).

We had 5 girls all in one large room with 2 bunk beds. Oldest DD slept on a top bunk until she went to seminary.

Blueberry Muffin

Mon, Mar 19 2012, 10:19 am

amother wrote:

I luv ur statements about positive attitude starting from the mother!

Yael3

Mon, Mar 19 2012, 6:58 pm

Do you have the space for high risers instead of bunk beds?
Even though I don't come from a large family, there were years when we lived in Eretz Yisroel and finances were very very tough. We were 4 siblings in a 1 bedroom apartment. My parents obviously had the bedroom, the dinningroom was divided in half with a long sfarim bookcase, my 3 brothers had the newly created room from the sfarim shelf division, and I slept in the dinning room on a cot that I folded each morning and rolled it in a corner. My clothing drawers were in the sfarim bookcase. It was of coure tight, but we didn't resent it. When there is harmony in a family it is amazing how tight situations like this can be seen as cozy Wink

bigsis144

Tue, Mar 20 2012, 7:16 pm

I have 3 sisters, and we had 2 bunk beds in one room. We were all fine with that, but we took over the closet in the boys' room (2 boys, 1 high riser) because we needed it more than them. Smile

My sisters and I are each 2 years apart, so when I was in 12th grade, we were 17 (me), 15, 13 and 11. Once I went to seminary, we switched the high riser from the boys' to the girls' room so there were only 3 beds in sight most of the time.

And we really were okay with it! We all had stuff to do and didn't spend much time in our shared room. It was for storage and sleeping, basically, and we did homework at the dining room table, computer or at a friend's house. If we needed to use the phone in real privacy, we'd use the one in my parents' room.