Office Holiday Party

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2006, 12:12 pm

I work in a non jewish place and they are having an office holiday party. First I didn't even consider going, but now they offered to order from a nearby kosher restaurant for me and my 2 frum coworkers (the 3 of us are the only frum (and only jewish) people in the office).

My 2 frum coworkers don't seem to be phased (sp?) - one of them even said that she feels bad now not going since they are being so accomodating. And the other coworker is a manager, so I don't think he has much of a choice.

On one hand, it's not a big deal for me to go - I would just schmooze with my frum (female) coworker and show my face. On the other hand, I have absolutely NO interest in going and have some issues hashkafically going to a "holiday party" if you know what I mean. I don't want to not go l'hachis, I would just make up an excuse, like a dr's appointment etc. (although that might seem a little too transparent...)

What do you ladies think? Quick responses appreciated since I need to RSVP by tomorrow. Scratching Head

chaimsmom

Thu, Dec 14 2006, 1:28 pm

I think it's important to at least put in an appearence at the office "holiday party." If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people don't like them - even people who celebrate the holiday. But going shows that you think of yourself as part of the team and that you have conisderation for your co-workers; not going could be interpreted in a lot of negative ways, particularly by people who are looking to criticize. It's not that you aren't going because you don't like your co-workers, or because your standoffish, etc., but some people would likely see it that way. My office party is tomorrow and I will go for a little while, but I can duck out early because of Shabbos. I hope it works out for you.

queen

Thu, Dec 14 2006, 1:42 pm

My husband's office "gathering" is tonight and I actually embarrassed

enjoy going. It's a night out with my husband, dinner is catered. (they have a minyan of frum men working in that firm, so have a catered meal brought in to the hall special for us.... and the non jews get their own food), and all the frum people sit together at a couple tables ...

I agree with above posters that not showing up would not be the smart way to handle it. Go for a little while, smile make your presence known by talking to people and moving around the room. That way when you slip out earlier, hopefully it wont be as conspicuous.

good luck, and may I wish you an enjoyable time with your husband out?

amother

Thu, Dec 14 2006, 1:49 pm

OP here

Well, this party is not for families, so my dh will not be going.

Also I am not the shmoozer type, so while probably people would notice that I am there, if I am not, I am not sure they would....do you know what I mean?

I guess I could go and leave early...is there anybody else who thinks it's hashkafically problematic?

chaimsmom

Thu, Dec 14 2006, 2:05 pm

>>is there anybody else who thinks it's hashkafically problematic?<<

I think it's important to keep in mind that for most people Xmas does not have much, if any, religious significance. Almost half of the people I work with do not celebrate Xmas for one reason or another: one is Hindu, two of us are Jewish, one is Muslim, and my boss is a Seventh Day Adventist. These parties are really just a way for co-workers to get together in a social setting. The way I look at it is my office party just happens to be held in December; if it we had exactly the same party in July, I wouldn't think twice about going.

chocolate moose

Thu, Dec 14 2006, 2:19 pm

DH gives his assistants "end of the year" bonuses/gifts, rather than calling them holiday bonuses. Every year he says he's going to do it closer to Thanksgiving, for hashkofo reasons, but he doesn't get around to it...

I think if your office is going to the trouble t get you kosher food, you should at least go - and have soda or another drink with them and wish them well.

cassandra

Thu, Dec 14 2006, 7:15 pm

There is a reason why offices call it a "holiday party" and not an "x-mas party". It is meant to be inclusive of all religions and not religious at the same time. If nothing religious happens, why would it be a problem? Would you have reservations about going if it were held in July?

amother

Mon, Dec 25 2006, 11:16 pm

I have worked at the same place for many years...I am the token Jew (the only frum Jew) and never once have they ever offered to cater my meal with Kosher food. I go to those awful parties for my career and sip my diet coke. I think the fact that they actually acknowledge the fact that you are an individual with specila needs and they respect your religious beliefs you should go...and let them know its appreciated....