Nechemya Weberman charged with abusing 12 yr old girl

sneakermom

Mon, May 21 2012, 3:05 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

I want you all to know, that I've been speaking for days to friends & acquaintances and you're wrong with the assumption that theyre doing this out of rishus. it's totally out of naivete; they really, really innocently cannot begin to fathom that a choshuve person can do such a thing, and are firmly convinced that a girl who 'looks like that' is perfectly capable of concocting such a plot to bring him down. I've been trying to play devil's advocate and open their minds a little to the possibility that all might not be as it seems, and there is no swaying them. They are definitely not doing this out of rishus, but out of innocent, sheltered belief. None of these people have internet, and they can absolutely not fathom the possibility of a reknowned, well loved person being a sx abuser. They just can't. So the posters here who are coming to W's defense are really, really convinced of his innocence. it's a very tough cultural barrier to crack. they don't have the exposure to the 'outside world' to have the awareness that anyone can be an abuser; they can't wrap their minds around it. It's an impenetrable sheltered worldview.

Give his supporters the benefit of the doubt; they truly can't fathom that this really could've happened.

I give the supporters the benefit of the doubt but not to the leaders .They could take it into their hands to educate the public. Instead they choose to side with the molesters. That is bad.

It's interesting because a friend of mind told me this story she said has a cousin who couldn't stomach the way a certain molester was able to just come and go in a certain shul. So he arranged a meeting with the rav, a very insular learned man, and he brought him information about molesters. He explained to him that no molesters don't do teshuvah. He showed him the fact about how they operate, what to expect from the, how you need to deal with them. The rav's first reaction was shock, he actually did believe that this molester did teshuva. He even said, "But look how he davens with so much kavanah". This guy was very patient and he explained to the rav that the davening doesn't take away the molesting. The rav finally understood what he was dealing with and decided to install cameras in his shul.

So change can happen. But the leaders need to be taught. And they need to want to teach the oilim. They need to want to save their klall.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Mon, May 21 2012, 5:59 pm

Barbara wrote:

BH you're not Gd.

So you're allowed to play G-d but I'm not allowed. Hmmm....

Clarissa wrote:

Wow, I don't know where to start. Read the exchange between Besiyata Dishmaya and my jaw dropped. This is some of the most disgusting stuff I've read here ever. I don't even know where to start. First, we have BD defending the child molester because, apparently, we have to personally be in the room while he rapes a child, to believe it. And then she says that (and this part is odd) she hangs out with a bunch of child molesters or falsely accused child molesters? Where on earth do these men live? Is there some special village or something?

I can't even follow this. All I can say is that there but for the grace of God go I, and I'm beyond appalled at the exchange in which someone acts so completely and thoroughly insensitive to what children go through who are victims of molestation.

There's more nastiness and insensitivity here than I've ever seen on this site. You should just pray that your children and grandchildren never undergo such a horrible experience. Not just because it's horrible, but because then you'd get to come here and see people like you calling your poor molested child a liar or rebellious or slutty.

Disgusting.

Not only do you joy a good piece of loshon hora and motzi shem ra but why do you have to lie and distort my post? Disgusting!

ora_43 wrote:

Jewish sources say that's not how it was in the time of the sanhedrin. Even the pshat of the written Torah makes it clear that what BD said is incorrect. You need witnesses in order to get someone put to death by a beit din for rape of an engaged or married woman, but you don't need witnesses to prove rape - that's the whole thing of "in the city" vs "in the field," if there are no witnesses the assumption is that it was rape.

True that the assumption is that it's rape but if there are no witnesses there's no death penalty and no punishment! So there, I was right all along.

eatingbagels

Mon, May 21 2012, 6:30 pm

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

True that the assumption is that it's rape but if there are no witnesses there's no death penalty and no punishment! So there, I was right all along.

Just to make sure that I'm understanding this correctly, BD, your viewpoint is that if there are no witnesses, a s-xual predator who is convicted by a jury for child abuse should get no punishment?

sequoia

Mon, May 21 2012, 6:31 pm

eatingbagels wrote:

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

True that the assumption is that it's rape but if there are no witnesses there's no death penalty and no punishment! So there, I was right all along.

Just to make sure that I'm understanding this correctly, BD, your viewpoint is that if there are no witnesses, a s-xual predator who is convicted by a jury for child abuse should get no punishment?

Do not react. Do not react! Ignore.

Barbara

Mon, May 21 2012, 6:40 pm

sequoia wrote:

eatingbagels wrote:

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

True that the assumption is that it's rape but if there are no witnesses there's no death penalty and no punishment! So there, I was right all along.

Just to make sure that I'm understanding this correctly, BD, your viewpoint is that if there are no witnesses, a s-xual predator who is convicted by a jury for child abuse should get no punishment?

Do not react. Do not react! Ignore.

Nah. You're wrong on this one. Let everyone see that this person believes that a man should not be punished for raping children.

sequoia

Mon, May 21 2012, 6:41 pm

Barbara wrote:

sequoia wrote:

eatingbagels wrote:

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

True that the assumption is that it's rape but if there are no witnesses there's no death penalty and no punishment! So there, I was right all along.

Just to make sure that I'm understanding this correctly, BD, your viewpoint is that if there are no witnesses, a s-xual predator who is convicted by a jury for child abuse should get no punishment?

Do not react. Do not react! Ignore.

Nah. You're wrong on this one. Let everyone see that this person believes that a man should not be punished for raping children.

Barbara, the first rule of internet interaction is not to feed 'em.

Ruchel

Tue, May 22 2012, 8:13 am

To me those who don't behave like humans don't deserve to learn or even be fed like humans.
Again, not about "clean" crimes...

chani8

Tue, May 22 2012, 2:58 pm

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

ora_43 wrote:

True that the assumption is that it's rape but if there are no witnesses there's no death penalty and no punishment! So there, I was right all along.

Why did this come up in this discussion? The Agudath Yisroel rabbonim stated publicly that it is permitted to turn over a child molester over to the secular authorities, because they are likened to a Rodef, someone who is out to kill a child, and one is permitted to kill him (which in this days means one is allowed to turn him over to the secular courts, and if he gets raped and killed in jail, that's not our problem).

ora_43

Tue, May 22 2012, 3:15 pm

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

ora_43 wrote:

True that the assumption is that it's rape but if there are no witnesses there's no death penalty and no punishment! So there, I was right all along.

Gaaahhh you are so obviously trolling, yet I feel a need to respond anyway so that nobody thinks what you are saying is real halacha.

There's no death penalty. There is a punishment - the rapist must compensate his victim.

Most Torah law is focused on compensation not punishment for its own sake, so the fact that there's no death penalty doesn't mean it's not seen as a very serious crime. Crippling someone for life or killing their unborn child would have a roughly similar punishment.

MommyZ

Tue, May 22 2012, 3:25 pm

My husband heard about this story because the non-Jewish cops are discussing it. Oy.

StrongIma

Tue, May 22 2012, 3:29 pm

yksraya wrote:

and they even got one another to molest.

actually, I heard somewhere that other inmates are extremely unkind to such animals, as well.

MommyZ

Tue, May 22 2012, 3:32 pm

StrongIma wrote:

yksraya wrote:

and they even got one another to molest.

actually, I heard somewhere that other inmates are extremely unkind to such animals, as well.

Child molesters do not fare well in the prison system, even with murderers and other s-xual predators.

yksraya

Tue, May 22 2012, 3:34 pm

MommyZ wrote:

StrongIma wrote:

yksraya wrote:

and they even got one another to molest.

actually, I heard somewhere that other inmates are extremely unkind to such animals, as well.

Child molesters do not fare well in the prison system, even with murderers and other s-xual predators.

they should consider that before they molest kids.

MommyZ

Tue, May 22 2012, 3:36 pm

yksraya wrote:

MommyZ wrote:

StrongIma wrote:

yksraya wrote:

and they even got one another to molest.

actually, I heard somewhere that other inmates are extremely unkind to such animals, as well.

Child molesters do not fare well in the prison system, even with murderers and other s-xual predators.

they should consider that before they molest kids.

I don't think that most perps consider the consequences before they commit crimes, or if they do they think they will not get caught or punished. On the other hand, some child molestors claim to want to be stopped.

RN EMT

Tue, May 22 2012, 5:15 pm

I'm sorry I joined this thread so many pages in. I personally know this girl, and the gehanim she is going through...she is not lying. Her and her family have lost a lot going forward with this story, as do most victims.

Also as most of us are mothers on this board, you should really do your homework. I know someone mentioned this already but people, specifically children do not lie about abuse. The cases that are proven lies don't make it this far because inconsistencies are found when the police or DAs office is investigating. Also why should the victims character come in to play? Does that mean if a person who is dressed proactive gets raped then you would blame her?

And again the most important part of the case (again some people mentioned it already), the girl herself did not report it, her school (licensed) therapist - a mandated reporter did. A mandated reporter must give any information known to them to the police. And because she was a licensed therapist she was taught how to extract information of abuse from a girl who was obviously hurting.

Mama Bear

Tue, May 22 2012, 8:03 pm

Wow

. That is indeed very sad. I hope she gets the psychological help she needs to get through this trauma, and I hope that he pays for his deeds if/when he's found guilty.

QUEENY

Tue, May 22 2012, 8:39 pm

RN EMT wrote:

Thank You ..I said this many pages ago too. Also I truly believe there is a possibility that this is not his first accusation, though we will never know for sure, thanxs to our wonderful DA who believes in keeping the names of Perps such as this one under wraps!

Zehava

Tue, May 22 2012, 8:51 pm

I went to the guy for 'therapy'. I was an innocent hurting 13 yr old. the first thing he said to me was 'ill take you on trips, buy you stuff, and make your life bliss'. he dissed my parents really bad. said he'd come pick me up in a limo if I ran away from home. he urged me to come live at his house. he called me by a nickname and told me how pretty I looked. I asked a shaila if I should make a statement against him, and was told that since he never physically touched me, and he's already in trouble I shouldnt. I cant prove that he's a molester, especially since the girl involved is a great liar. I just hope the truth comes out and he gets what he deserves. whatever that is.

quickchef

Tue, May 22 2012, 9:43 pm

An absolute must-read from "Joel Engelman's" mother: (notice the fact that Weberman was a "good friend" of the girl's father... who absolutely trusted him.)

He told me that I should never, ever tell anyone

How An Entire Community Of Sheeple (Sheep-People) Were Deceived!

Many of my friends and acquaintances assumed my presence and media outspokenness at the protest against the fundraiser for accused s-xual abuser Nechemia Weberman was due to my bitter experience with my son Yoely’s molestation case. Not exactly wrong but not the whole story either…….

This past Monday, May 14th, I received a call from an unknown woman asking if she could speak with me confidentially. When I assented she said “my daughter was s-xually abused by Nechemia Weberman!” I listened in shock as she told me “when my daughter was 15 years old she began to dress differently than our family’s dress code and my husband and I were very worried about what this signified. We were advised to take her to Nechemia Weberman, the chassidishe therapist for “troublesome” girls. We trusted Weberman fully, as he was also my husband’s good friend. During the 2 something years my daughter was in “therapy” with him she did not tell us what went on during almost every session.”

I glanced at the caller ID and realized she was calling from upstate NY. My caller continued – “After my daughter’s wedding, one day she told me, ‘Mommy if you would know what Necehmia Weberman did to me you would kill yourself! He showed me relations videos, he made me do-------to him, he did ------to me, and he told me that I should never, ever tell anyone because no one would believe me as I was known as a “troublemaker” and he was a very Chosheve (prominent) person; I would have no credibility and would only damage my reputation further! He tried to convince me that no one understood me, cared for me or loved me as he did. For sure my parents did not understand me or love me!’

To say the caller took my breath away is an understatement. Listening to the sorrowful tone of her voice was awful. Then she said “in hindsight I now remember that whenever I called him for a progress report or an update on my daughter a strange thing happened. He would actually instigate me against my daughter! I used to wonder why doesn’t he say something like - Don’t worry - we are working with her – there is hope for improvement – instead he would say what an ‘ “Azas Ponim” she was, how she would burn in Gehenim for her behavior!’ I would be so very angry at her and she at me; we were going at each other all the time.”

And then my caller told me her name! This family is not “nobody”, this is a well known, beautifully functional family! Very frum family! She explained to me that because her husband’s livelihood was dependant on the Heimishe public they could not openly expose Weberman – being from the community they knew the backlash would be directed against their daughter and themselves. And because their daughter was happily married they did not want to rock that boat either.

Her story continued: “When the campaign in support of Weberman was started this winter and I saw the signatures of the Rabbonim I couldn’t bear it anymore. I myself went to Rabbi Teitelbaum (R’ Zalmen Leib’s son) and to Rabbi Pollack and told them my story. They were shocked - ‘Oiy, Oiy vie, we didn’t know, we were told he was the victim of a bilbel (libel). However, you should know – we are still Yiddishe kinder and for this Weberman doesn’t have to sit in jail, we will take care of him and he will never do this again, and do not hinder us from protecting him!!!!!’ “

How do we say it? REVICTIMIZING THE VICTIM! In essence they are telling this poor mother – go home, choke your feelings and do not stop us from supporting and helping the man who violated your child! Has there ever been anything as cruel, as pitiless, as UNJEWISH? Is this really us? Don’t we stand for the Emes? For Yoisher? A thought just occurred to me: Al Pi Torah, what was their responsibility after hearing from the mother???

I gently asked her what could I do to help her? Her sorrowful answer: “I don’t know”. Why did she call me now? Because she feels so terribly sick when she sees the campaign for Weberman’s fundraiser.
And so now we come to the protest or rather to the massive PR campaign for Weberman. We Yidden pride ourselves on being Uber Chachomim. No one can pull a fast one on us, no one can sell us the Brooklyn Bridge. So now I have several questions for us.

But before we tackle the questions, I’d like to share some of my experiences at the protest. Several men who recognized me asked me angrily “Why are you here?” “Weberman did something to your son?”
Two ladies walking by angrily told me “It’s all lies, lies”! Sharon Otterman, the NY Times reporter standing nearby asked them “Can you please tell me why you think Weberman is innocent?” Here’s their answer, which is the sum total of what almost everyone asked says: “I know Weberman. He is a wonderful person, very smart, he has a wonderful family, he’s helped so many people. Look at the person who is accusing him – she’s garbage”. This statement of “I know Weberman” flies in the face of the Talmud’s ‘Aiyn Apitrophes L’Aroiyes’, and viciously besmirching the girl is in the same vein as people brainlessly saying “Look at Avrum Reichman and look at Yoely Engelman and whom are you going to believe?”.
Several minutes later, I was introduced to a beautiful young woman from Williamsburg. I did not know who she was then (I do now). She said to me shaking her head sadly, “I know Weberman very, very well. I cannot talk, I’m married. I cried all day today - I wish I were standing with you, but I am not able to.” And with eyes brimming with tears she looked across the street at the outpouring of support for Nechemia Weberman!

Now to the questions:
1- Shouln’t it seem strange to us that UTA, who goes so far as to censor with black magic marker a boy’s face in a first grade girl’s reader, that they employed a Yungerman as a therapist for wayward teenaged girls in his own office on Classon Ave? Not in the school office, no. A man with absolutely no training, no background in psychology. Who supervised him? Who oversaw his cases? Aren’t we very strict with Yichud? Aren’t we scrupulously gender separated at all times?
2- Does anyone bother to inquire into the facts of Weberman’s arrest? Oh we know that shiksa, that chatzifa, that oisvurf, that terrible girl, who made a revenge bilbul on an innocent “Mechanech” who was only trying to help her…..
3- Who is really behind the huge campaign to fund Weberman’s legal fees? We know it must be his family, but can they alone really pull this off without outside help? Who are the outsiders and why are they interested in helping?

Leah*, a student at UTA Bais Rochel School for Girls, was sent to by the school to Weberman for “therapy”. Isn’t it odd that after so many years of his “therapy” the school needed to expel her? Of course no Chassidishe school wanted to accept her. She landed at a girls school in Flatbush; the name of the school is not relevant. The school provided a guidance counselor for some of its students. Leah* was deemed in need of this service. She spoke about her experiences at Weberman’s hands and the guidance counselor, being a mandated reporter called the police. Weberman was arrested. Hello, I’ll say it again – Weberman was arrested because the guidance counselor correctly reported him! Do the posters or the articles in the newspapers tell us that? Of course not! We the sheeple are led to believe the girl was a Moser! That she acted out of revenge to get even with Weberman! Now know this: When an accused molester is arrested the case is owned by the legal system. In other words, Leah* is not the complainant – the government is! The government in this case is the DA. Yes our friend, Charles Hynes, whom the media has shown to be the best ally in the community cover-up of molesters! The DA and his crew will be on Leah’s side! (Oiy Vey!) On Weberman’s side will be the best attorneys money can buy thanks to our misguided generous donations for his defense! Besides the family, guess who else is sooooo invested in defending Weberman? UTA of course! Imagine their headaches right now! UTA sent countless girls to Weberman. They must now make sure none of them ever, ever comes out to point fingers at him. Many of the girls are still below the statute of limitations – they are all potential missiles against UTA! Ha! And here we the sheeple were led to believe the missiles were directed by Leah* against our community!
Yet, in one brilliant fell stroke, the organizers of the fundraiser “Alilas 75” have manipulated our gullible community into a threefold successful campaign:

1) Getting us to believe Weberman is the victim of a vicious ‘Bilbel’!
2) Terrorizing any and all other victims into shame and silence!
3) Parting us from our hard earned money for Weberman’s defense!

Are you starting to feel as if we are living in Sodom? Can’t you just see them laughing all the way to the bank? Can the PR people really make us believe that black is white and white is black? We’ve been called many things – stupid should not be one of them!

RN EMT

Thu, May 31 2012, 8:51 am

I am not an expert but Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is considered an expert by litvish and chassidish alike. Please read his article!

http://www.rabbihorowitz.com/P.....11356

Stand with the Survivors -- Our Children are not Hefker (Part II)
by Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

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5/30/12
Stand With the Survivors

Our Children are not Hefker (Part II)

By: Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

Sixteen months ago, Project YES conducted a "Stand with the Victim" campaign to give support and chizuk to the family of a young child who was allegedly molested by Meir Dascalowitz. Dascalowitz was charged with nearly 100 felony charges of s-xual abuse, and the family of the victim, which courageously stepped forward to press charges, was being subjected to brutal pressure and threats from community members in an attempt to silence them.

By all accounts, efforts to offer emotional support for the survivor’s family were most productive. The hearing room was packed with many dozens of us – so much so that Dascalowitz’s hearing was moved to the first on the docket in order to clear the courtroom. We presented the family members with over 300 printed emails and blog posts from our readers worldwide, which clearly provided them with an enormous boost of chizuk.

We are once again asking our readers to display a similar show of support for the brave family of the young woman who was allegedly abused by Nechemya Weberman (Kings County Supreme Court Case # 01589-2011) in light of the pressure being directed at them from certain community members who would want the charges dropped.

The hearing will take place in the Kings County Supreme Court, 320 Jay Street, Brooklyn, NY 11201 on Thursday, June 14th at 9:00 a.m.

Weberman is entitled to the presumption of innocence and we must reserve judgment until the conclusion of the judicial process. Nonetheless, research indicates that the overwhelming majority of children who come forward with abuse allegations are telling the truth. Think about it. Why would anyone in their right mind make a claim of being abused if it didn't happen? All the more so because there is unfortunately a stigma attached to the individuals and the families of victims of abuse. Going public and helping to get the perpetrator apprehended in order to protect the lives of other innocent children, often comes at great personal cost to the survivors and their families. With all this in mind, we must stand with them until this is sorted out.

Moreover, in this particular case, there are very troubling facts on the ground clearly challenging to the most unbiased observer. Weberman was acting as a child therapist with no training or degree. By his own admission, having secluded himself with this young lady on numerous occasions over a period of years, he was in clear violation of basic Hilchos Yichud .

Whether this particular individual is innocent or guilty is for the court to decide. We must as a community deal with the very real problem of intimidation and the banning and shunning of the victim. This, in effect, abuses the victim a second time. A prime example of this happened five years ago. A childhood friend asked Project YES to assist a young man in our community who was in terrible shape and addicted to hard drugs. It was immediately evident to me that he had been molested as a young child, and we encouraged him and later his parents to report this to the authorities. During the initial meeting with his parents, they expressed genuine concern and even fear of pursuing this matter, as they were warned that friends of this well-connected perpetrator will harm them or worse. (The warning had been issued to them earlier through back channels.)

During our initial meeting with the Queens District Attorney, I mentioned the “intimidation factor” and explained to them how these things work – the 3:00 a.m. anonymous phone calls, pizza deliveries in the middle of the night, on and on. We were assured that we would have the full resources and protection of the DA’s office and the police department, and they most certainly “walked the walk” by supporting the family every step of the way. The man was arrested, and during his first appearance in court, the judge practically yelled at the molester in court and warned him that the slightest act of intimidation against the victim’s family would be assumed to have come from him. He was told by the judge in no uncertain terms that his bail will be revoked and charges would be added if there were any acts of bullying or threats directed at the victim’s family. (For more details, click here and here.)We ought to be advocating that this level of support and protection be offered to these Brooklyn victims who are coming forward as well.

With all this in mind, we respectfully ask our readers to:

1) Post a comment of support below in the thread following this column or send an email to yhprojectyes@gmail.com. Please list your real name and the city where you live, to send a clear message to those conducting the terror campaign against the victim’s family that we are not intimidated by them. These comments will be printed and presented to the family at the hearing.

2) Please try and attend the hearing in person if at all possible. It is extraordinarily important that we have a huge turnout supporting the victim and her family. We need hundreds of people there, to send a loud and clear message to all parties that Our Children are not Hefker.

3) Respectfully email the Brooklyn DA’s office (SCHMETJ@brooklynda.org is the email address of Jerry Schmetterer, Director of Public Information at the DA’s office) and express your support for 24/7 protection of the victim’s family and the robust investigation and prosecution of the folks who are intimidating them. Additionally, express your support for a swift resolution of the criminal charges, as the stalling and delay just allow those pressuring the victims more time for intimidation. (Nechemya Weberman was arrested on February 23, 2011.)

Kindly take a moment to review the lines of last year’s post here for a more detailed explanation regarding the moral and practical need to stand with the victim.

Thank you for your assistance and support of our efforts on behalf of abuse survivors.

Yakov Horowitz

P.S. Over the past few years, as a public service, Project YES has been conducting teleconference calls in the month of June designed to help parents effectively speak to their children about personal space and safety before sending them off to summer camp. This year’s teleconference call will take place Thursday, June 7th at 9:30 p.m. EDT. To join, kindly call in to (209) 647-1600 Participant Code: 827269

(Here is a link to a child safety teleconference call we ran in 2011, and a recording of this 2012 session will be available on our website www.kosherjewishparenting.com or by dialing (209) 647-1699 Participant Code: 827269 after the call is concluded. )