DD with thick dry curly hair- help please!

studying_torah

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 4:07 pm

My DD has thick, knotty, dry , frizzy curly hair, esp the top layer.
She washes it w/ dove, tresseme or pantene shampoo and conditioner, and \I comb it thru and use gel or mousse but its still so dry adn frizzy.
I've also used Carol's daughter hair milk on it, and a spray for AA hair, and a deep conditioner from pantene but nothing helped.
What shampoo and condtioner should she use to help w/ the dryness, and what styling products should I use? (any particular brand better than others?) And Why is the top layer so much drier and frizzier than the lower layer?
I thought cutting it would help, but a straight cut just makes it poofier. Should I get her some layers or is that no good for curls?
btw, s/o told me about diva curl but its so expensive- is it worth while?

Akeres Habayis

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 4:45 pm

how old is she, if she is old enough to care what her hair looks like, invest in the diva curl (never heard of it, but I would like some)
my daughter has very long, dry and thick curly hair.
1. pantene is the best, r u buying the one for curly hair? it makes a difference
2. dont wash it everyday w/shampoo (it only dries it out more)
don't comb it while dry (it makes it frizz), I always wet my dd hair, and add conditioner (not the leave in one).
3. I use a leave in conditioner(pantene or dr. fisher for curly hair)
when I finish her hair, I add a lot of the leave in, because she likes for her hair to be smooth on top.

DON'T CUT HER HAIR ANYMORE, that's why its hard to manage. someone who grew up w/curly hair gave me that advice.

there's a great conditioner in the states, if I could get a hold of it, I would be so happy its called
mane and tail. it has a horse on the front of it, and u can get it at any sally's beauty supply store.
DON'T USE AA SPRAY, IT HAS ALCHOL IN IT. make sure there is no alchol in any hair product. and throw out all those other brands Smile

sorry, we have tried it all, and this is what works.

My4Jewels

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 4:57 pm

OK I am a curly, dry haired girl. I have used it all and the only thing that works for me is J Beverly Hills control shampoo and control conditioner. Then I use J Beverly Hills Crazy curl as a cream leave in to control frizz type and Image Gel Whip as the gel.

It's the best

granolamom

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 5:09 pm

I'm a curly girl too.
first thing, and most importantly, please please please let your dd know how beautiful her hair is!! I grew up being told only how hard to manage it was, how unattractive and by my high school teachers how 'prust' and 'pritzusdik' it was. needless to say I always hated my hair, until recently and now I cover it so that's a waste. but back to management...

get a good cut. not a $10 one at the local unisex place, but go to someone who has recommendations and experience with cutting curly hair. and YES to layers, but again, you need someone who knows what they are doing.
read up on curlygirl.com and other sites, that's what I finally did. I stopped using shampoo with alcohol (drying), and I only use a cleanser once or twice weekly. for conditioner, avoid silicone (it builds up and needs the deep cleaning shampoos which are drying). I started using only a lemon juice rinse and its surprisingly great for the texture and the curl.
to avoid frizz, I stopped brushing my hair. not even a comb. maybe once in a while I'll run a wide toothed pick through it but it doesnt get knotty or tangled as long as I use the lemon juice.
oh, also, after washing do not use terrycloth towels. I wrap my hair in a cotton tshirt and leave it like that as long as possible (google "plunking curly hair" or "plopping curly hair"). and touch it as infrequently as possible even when dry.
since I've been following this regimen, my hair is soft and curly no frizz. its a shame I have to cover it because I finally love my hair.

marshmellow

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 5:54 pm

curly hair is beautiful because you can do so much with it to make it look so pretty. it's so much better to have curly/wavy hair as you can easily make it straight but it's hard to make straight hair curly.

I think curly/wavy hair is the best to have, but she must keep it longish, at least down to the shoulders. curly hair does not look good in a short hairstyle, it must be longer. she should have a trim every 8 weeks to keep it healthy, but a trim is only a quarter of an inch to half an inch.

so encourage her to grow her hair if it's short! also don't brush hair if it's curly! use conditioner to get the knots out in the shower if there are any, then after that either straighten it (like I do sometimes), or let it dry naturally.

to enhance the curls and make them really pronounced instead of becoming frizz, she could use MOUSE. this gets rid of frizz and makes the curls nice and hold together.

to combat the dryness, she should use SERUM. but the best product ever for reducing dryness is ARGON OIL. it is AMAZING for dry hair, it adds a lot of moisture, you can buy it as a product to use in the shower to leave in for 5 minutes after the conditioner then wash out, or, as a serum to run through the hair and LEAVE IN while it's slightly damp still.

you can also buy argon oil shampoo and conditioner. just look it up on the internet it does wonders to combat dry hair.

hope this helps you Smile

studying_torah

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 6:35 pm

thanks e/o for all ur help!
will the argon oil help the dryness long term, or just a short term fix? also what is a lemon juice rinse?
I actually find the pantene so drying for her hair! I have to comb it daily bec its sooo knotty- even after conditioner in the shower.
she is pretty young still, and has to wear her hair in a pony for school bec its below shoulder length, but its just so dry and knotty and frizzy even w/ both gel and mousse. (yes I comb it while wet and then put in teh mousse and gel- no use)I honestly hate her hair bec. its so hard to manage!!

also, do any of u curly haired women have the issue w/ teh top layer being so much more dry and frizzy than the bottom layers?

sky

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 6:43 pm

- don't brush or comb her hair - ever. In the shower - just detangle it when the conditioner is in. Use your fingers or a wide tooth comb. Re-apply conditioner afterwords, just smoothing it over the top gently and rinse. That is it. No more 'brushing' until the next shower.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 6:54 pm

studying_torah wrote:

if she takes a shower @ night, by the next morning its a knotty mess- how can I detangle it if I don't spritz it w water and comb it?

I use diluted conditioner as a spray instead of water on my dd's curly hair (her's is thin and frizzy.) two tbsp of any conditioner, fill the rest of the bottle with water. you may just want to spray it and smooth it with your hands. also, what about leaving full-strength conditioner in? why rinse it out?

I comb my dd's hair right out of the shower, then put in ponytails while it's wet. I do multiple ponies tied into each other or french braids to keep the hair contained securely. it doesn't tangle overnight like this, and I don't have to do her hair in the morning Smile

STMommy

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 10:53 pm

Another little tip - in the supermarkets and drugstores by me, there is a separate section of hair care products made for African Americans - there are products especially made for thick, tangly, course hair - it really makes the hair smooth, soft and manageable (sorry for sounding like an ad there but the stuff really works).

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 11:24 pm

find a deva curl salon- and products. my daughter now washes her hair with only conditioner and has it cut by a specially trained deva curl stylist. I live way out of town so probably you can find a salon like that. when we were in ny recently, we stopped a bunch of women with beautiful curls and they were all deva girls. my friend was about to shave her very curly hair because she was so frustrated with her hair and she got her hair done at deva curl and is so happy now (and she covers her hair- so you can imagine how frustrated she was if she wanted to cut it all off!)

deva, deva, deva!

oh and I am a straight girl and get my hair cut there anyways, because their stylists learn regular hair cutting before learning to cut curls!

Chana Miriam S

Wed, Jun 13 2012, 11:31 pm

I forgot, my son also uses deva curl, because he has insanely thick curly hair. he also washes with conditioner, and then reapplies while wet in the shower once rinsed so its like styling product but softer

we don't comb, just use fingers to detangle in shower and use conditioner (deva) to wash and then reapply after rinsing and leave in. agree about avoiding alcohol, lauryl sulfate, and silica products. read carefully!

dd applies deva gel in the shower while her hair is WET and scrunches it-this is important- upside down and while very wet. it can then be carefully dried with a towel (aquis is best) in a gentle squeezing motion, not a 'towel dry' motion.

our deva stylist suggested using olive oil as a leave in conditioner once in a while but that I worry about oil stains, so we have not done it yet.

my kids have such beautiful hair but it took me a really long time to figure it out and once we did, boom, they look great all the time!

marshmellow

Thu, Jun 14 2012, 8:26 am

you can use argon oil as often and as much as you like. she can use it whenever she washes her hair if she likes. I use it like once a week, but there she can use it every time she has washed her hair (I.e every time after she's washed her hair and used conditioner, put on argon oil leave for 5 mins then wash out.

http://www.arganoilsociety.org.....hair/

there are many types of product you can buy but I would say she should get the one that you use in the shower then wash out.

also she shouldn't use ordinary shampoo, she should buy ones which are specially formulated for dry hair, because these will add moisture to her hair. for example, the aussie shampoos and conditioners:

http://www.boots.com/en/Aussie.....500ml

and the matching conditioner

that and the argan oil will work really well

DrMom

Thu, Jun 14 2012, 8:36 am

Get good conditioner. Try the stuff meant for dry, damaged, or color-treated hair. Buy a decent brand. I find salon brand conditioners really do work better than many drugstore brands. I like Redkin, Paul Mitchell, Gliss (don't know if these brands are all still around. Haven't been shopping for conditioner in the US for a while).

Run a wide-toothed detangling comb through her hair when her hair is wet. Don't brush it.

Towel dry and use some sort of silicone-based hair cream or hair oil. That way it won't be frizzy.

Experiment w/diff brands. Try all sorts of free samples and travel sizes until you find something you like.