Teacher leave them kids alone

amother

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 6:36 am

My daughter's teacher is not allowing her to wear uniform items that the school allows her to wear. Officially the school has two skirts. One is paid and the other is solid. Almost all the girls opt for the solid. My daughter had mostly solids but she has one plaid. The same goes for shirts and sweaters over the shirt.

One teacher decided she wants all the girls exactly the same. She is very rigid. I am afraid she will take this out on my daughter's grades. This is so frustrating because school uniforms are not cheap. I like the plaid uniform better. I think it is smarter.

The teacher embarrassed my daughter by telling her she can't wear what she had on. My daughter is a good girl who came home devastated that she was singled out for embarassment. Teachers need to follow rules and not embarrass students. Even if I dressed my daughter incorrectly the teacher should have called me.

Eemaof3

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 6:38 am

That is absurd! How dare that teacher do that?! If there is a handbook outlining what is acceptable, physically show it to the teacher or go straight to the head of school. That is simply unacceptable. And be certain to tell the head of school how the teacher embarrassed your child -- completely unacceptable! I am fuming for you!

the world's best mom

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 6:48 am

According to Hilchos Lashon Harah, the first step would have to be approaching the teacher herself. Explain that the uniform is allowed and that emnarressing your daughter isn't.

If the problem repeats itself after that, then you may speak to higher authorities.

amother

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 7:00 am

I called the teacher. She is very rigid and fragile. I didn't bring it up. She ended up talking about herself. I am fuming for my daughter and pitying this teacher.

This teacher is very strict about grades. She is not afraid to fail girls. My daughter struggles in a few subjects. She excels in this subject.

Happy18

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 7:26 am

As a teacher I am horrified. This does not sound like she is rigid to me, it sounds like she is compulsive. Sorry but if the school rules allow your daughter to wear the skirt she can wear the skirt without fearing for her grades. Call the teacher back and talk to her about it, if you are uncomfortable about calling her directly call the principal and without telling her which teacher is doing this tell her the situation. The principal's job is then to check in on each teacher to make sure that they are in adherence to school policy.

amother

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 7:27 am

saw50st8 wrote:

I would talk to the principal and ask for a clarification on what is allowed and whether teachers have a right to change that.

I confirmed the plaid was allowed before I purchased it. If I ask if teachers have a right to change policy it will only open up the discussion. I can't imagine any individual teacher can change policy because then the students would not be uniform.

amother

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 9:35 am

I have faced this twice.

The first time, DS1 wore a particular type of kippa to first grade. At orientation, another mother had asked the principal if that type of kippa was permitted, and he said yet. His teacher made him remove it and get a new kippa from the lost and found. We let it go.

The second time, a teacher asked DS3 (who admittedly wore his hair a bit long) when he was going to get a hair cut. It was in front of other students, and I was livid. In that case, I called the school and told them that unless and until the dress code mandated certain hair styles, they had better make sure none of their teachers say a word to DS3.

In your case, I would do the following: call the school to ask for clarification on the dress code -- is the plaid skirt, and whatever else you mentioned, still acceptable. Assuming they say yes, then call the teacher, and say that you think that there has been some confusion, but that you checked with the school, and the plaid skirt is fine. You trust there won't be further issues. If she says she wants the kids to dress uniformly, lather, rinse, repeat. The school says its fine. You could be magnanimous and tell her that if there is a presentation, you'll be glad to send her in a solid skirt that day. If the teacher won't budge, take it up a level, pointing out that you already confirmed that the school was OK with the skirt.

B"H YOM YOM

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 9:51 am

Just to concur with the other posters: this is not a school rule issue, there is some issue with the teacher in which her personal 'preferences' (using this term to be nice), overstepped and were out of bounds. First thing, approach her. Do NOT get into an arguement, merely STATE what occured (child wearing regualted uniform, teacher singled her out causing confusion AND embarrassment for child which you as the mom had to rectify, let her know child WILL be wearing regulated uniform and you trust that it will end right here with out further repercussions.) She should be able to infer your meaning [ie: you do not want to report this higher up but will if her compulsions are not under control in the classroom]. If she calmy understands, then fine. If she persisits then you see this is a deeper problem and again , do NOT argue-simply thank her for her time and go on to speak to the principal. Good luck, these type of issues are best taken care of and packed away asap.

ElTam

Wed, Nov 14 2012, 4:41 pm

Quote:

This. Every word.