tipping bus driver?

amother

Mon, Dec 10 2012, 9:40 pm

My ds's (preschool) bus company was wiped out with Sandy and it took two weeks till a new one took its place. Meanwhile the new bus driver is ok but he comes VERY early and has made no effort to change it because it's "legal." Think one hour and five-ten minute on bus for a three year old and the legal limit is an hour and fifteen minutes. In fact it got worse, it used to be 55 minutes. I can also never reach him or the company.

I have been driving him at least half the time. Do I have to tip him for Chanukah (Jewish but not frum, not that it matters because it's the holiday season all around)? I don't feel like it because we are not particularly happy but is it a chillul hashem not to?

Mommastuff

Mon, Dec 10 2012, 11:26 pm

I was gonna ask the same question.
My dd's bus driver comes early and drops off my kids alone even if I'm not there - they can't walk home alone. He also comes to school late to pick up the girls so I'm left outside waiting without knowing when they're coming home.
He really acts like he doesn't care and I don't care to give him a tip!

I'm wondering, though, if it'll make a bad situation worse...

granolamom

Wed, Dec 12 2012, 4:49 pm

I would tip so as not to make a chillul hashem (for the record, dh disagrees with me on that one). also you never know, maybe tipping him will help get you better service in the future?
once we started tipping our newspaper delivery guy our paper started landing right in front of our door instead of in the bushes or on the sidewalk. funny how that happens.

amother

Wed, Dec 12 2012, 6:56 pm

granolamom wrote:

it's really not so much his fault, it's the route but I feel like tipping is when you are happy with a situation, and I'm just not. I know dh would say no, I just want to do the right thing.

amother

Wed, Dec 12 2012, 7:05 pm

I would tip, for the simple fact that by being nice to him, he's (hopefully!) going to be nicer to you. There's no such rule, but things to tend to go that way. BTW, many municipalities have limits on gift giving. For example, in NY, the Board of Ed has a $5 non-cash gift limit. Of course most people give cash. It's easiest, and most appreciated. But I use that as a base. More for really good service, depending on how many kids and how many bus runs this driver does... It's not really a whole lot, but along with a nice note, it shows our appreciation. Funny how they tend to be more accomodating this time of year, as they anticipate your tips...

And just when you thought you "trained" your driver with a good tip, they tend to change the drivers mid-year! Exploding anger

Oh well!

granolamom

Wed, Dec 12 2012, 8:32 pm

amother wrote:

granolamom wrote:

it's really not so much his fault, it's the route but I feel like tipping is when you are happy with a situation, and I'm just not. I know dh would say no, I just want to do the right thing.

well, if its not his fault, I would for sure tip. tipping has become, at least in my neck of the woods, the default. so not tipping is penalizing him for something over which he has no control. and I hate to think by not tipping I am validating the 'cheap jew' image.

amother

Wed, Dec 12 2012, 8:59 pm

granolamom wrote:

amother wrote:

granolamom wrote:

it's really not so much his fault, it's the route but I feel like tipping is when you are happy with a situation, and I'm just not. I know dh would say no, I just want to do the right thing.

I know but total he has driven him maybe 10-15 times because they only started like two weeks after Sandy and I often have to take him. I feel babyish because I probably should tip but I just don't wanna! Surprised

I think I'm just going to. No choice.

amother

Wed, Dec 12 2012, 9:45 pm

From experience, tipping a "mean" driver can effect change! One driver who was rude to everyone, but I tipped him chanuka with a nice thank you note, and he became really accomodating to me. And not to others. He's the type of driver who, if you're not outside, just drives by the stop, even if you might be standing at the door. And the next time, he'd skip the stop altogether because "you don't come, so why should I stop?"

After the tip, and a few mentchlich gestures on my part, he waited and even BEEPED once when I was not outside. (Note: I always made sure to yes be outside so as not to anger him.)