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Yael




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:16 pm
After what happened yesterday with the abused amother thread, when someone told the abused wife's husband about the thread, I feel that it is important to set a firm rule on Imamother that should be clear to every member.

It is never ever ok to share info posted on Imamother with the actual person being spoken about in the thread!
Specifically in cases of abuse, when it can have serious repercussions, but also even if it is something like a vent about a mother in law. You don't go to the mother in law and tell her you think this thread on Imamother is about her!
Or if you are venting about your friend, the last thing you need is real life problems caused by a member who decided to take matters into her own hands and "help" the situation by telling the friend.

We have had this type of thing happen before and the results have always been disastrous.

Imamother is a safe place for women to vent and ask advice. When someone breaches that wall of confidentiality, it ruins the safe atmosphere for everyone.

Please use common sense, and avoid mixing into situations that you recognize that do not involve you.

What is written on Imamother, stays on Imamother.
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Runner18




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:22 pm
Thanks for that, Yael.

I can't believe someone went and told the abused wife's husband about the thread here. Even though technically the Internet is public, to think that someone willingly added insult to injury in a case that is clearly so troubled already is just so disturbing.
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bamamama




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:24 pm
W.T.F. Banging head Banging head Banging head Banging head Banging head Banging head Banging head Banging head Banging head Banging head

I'm not Catholic but in this case I'll buy into there being a level of hell for the person who did this.
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ally




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:27 pm
I'm horrified. I hope amother is safe.
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imamiri




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:28 pm
WHAT?!?! Who would do that??????
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b from nj




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:32 pm
How could anyone even know who an anonymous abused amother even is to be able to go the abusive husband & rat on her?!! It just boggles the mind & I really do hope the abused amother is safe & out of harm's way!!
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rachel91




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:35 pm
Wow, that's terrible! I'm sorry to ask, but what thread was it?
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shabbatiscoming




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:35 pm
unreal!!!!!! what thread was that from? And im with the above poster, how could anyone know who an anonymous poster is?
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Sherri




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:35 pm
Sad I am shocked.
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Squishy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:36 pm
There should be similar rules for identifying amother's SN.
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enneamom




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:38 pm
Squishy wrote:
There should be similar rules for identifying amother's SN.

Aren't there? You can't "out" people, or even give details about them that only you know.
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flowerpower




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:39 pm
Brainless would be a nice word to say the least. Thats bad!
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myself




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:42 pm
I can't believe this happened!!!
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Squishy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 4:54 pm
enneamom wrote:
Squishy wrote:
There should be similar rules for identifying amother's SN.

Aren't there? You can't "out" people, or even give details about them that only you know.


It would be nice if those rules were enforced.
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Sherri




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 5:05 pm
Squishy wrote:
enneamom wrote:
Squishy wrote:
There should be similar rules for identifying amother's SN.

Aren't there? You can't "out" people, or even give details about them that only you know.


It would be nice if those rules were enforced.
I have seen posters called out on that- sharing information that they know from off-screen about a poster. If you find that rule not being enforced, I guess report the post. (Unless you mean IRL people talking to each other...)
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PinkFridge




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 5:32 pm
When I saw the title of this thread I thought it was referring to a different thread (and spinoff). I'm saddened and horrified beyond words. (Though I'll take Bamamama's as a good start.)

ETA: soon after signing out it hit me that it's possible, remotely or maybe not remotely, that there's more to the story, and that there might be room to be DLKZ. Yael's later post only strengthens this thought. I had seriously thought of editing this post to remove my immediate, visceral reaction but I decided not to. Such a reaction is fully understandable and can and should give one pause when considering to take such a step. But it need not be the only reaction under the circumstances.


Last edited by PinkFridge on Tue, Dec 25 2012, 9:24 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Squishy




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 5:40 pm
Sherri wrote:
Squishy wrote:
enneamom wrote:
Squishy wrote:
There should be similar rules for identifying amother's SN.

Aren't there? You can't "out" people, or even give details about them that only you know.


It would be nice if those rules were enforced.
I have seen posters called out on that- sharing information that they know from off-screen about a poster. If you find that rule not being enforced, I guess report the post. (Unless you mean IRL people talking to each other...)


I did report the post. Since I never heard back from the moderator, I just assume my complaint went into a black hole.

The posters should suffer some consequence which I had mentioned to the moderator. I was posting some details about my household finances. It was nothing embarrassing, but I am entitled to be the one to decide if I want the info linked to my sn.
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causemommysaid




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 5:40 pm
how in the world can anyone figure out who it was?

and whichever moron did such a thing....there are no words.
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wereafamily




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 5:43 pm
So sad Sad
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busydev




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Dec 25 2012, 5:44 pm
Squishy wrote:


I did report the post. Since I never heard back from the moderator, I just assume my complaint went into a black hole.



I wouldnt assume that. I have reported posts and never had a response. tho sometimes something was done about the thread and sometimes not. but I never got a response from a mod.
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