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sky




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2012, 7:14 pm
ruth wrote:
Yael, I just want to know how did the abused woman know for sure that her abuser was told?

You needn't divulge details, it is just that sometimes women in this situation are in such a sick, manipulated relationship and in an emotionally strung out state that it is hard to parse out details.

For example, maybe the abuser found out on his own somehow (has something on her computer?) Then to mess with her head he tells her "a friend told him" or something to this effect. He did this to make her feel she could not trust anyone and go for help.... Do you all see my point?


Yael wrote:
The woman who did this regrets what she did, and feels very bad. she apologized both to me and to the abused woman.

The thread was removed right away.

The abused wife is not in any danger.
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ElTam




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2012, 7:30 pm
Quote:

bluebird wrote:
Quote:
I actually do alter my writing style when I post as amother ever since I saw a thread in which several posters claimed to identify an amother based on her excessive use of semicolons. I wasn't that amother, but I'm a semicolon lover myself and I make sure not to use them when posting as amother now.

ElTam wrote:
I thought the same thing when I saw that thread bluebird. I love me some semicolons. I don't know who the poster people were thinking of, but if you are going on semicolons, you are likely to be misled.

Merrymom wrote:
Oh you too? I am pretty sure they were referring to me but I was definitely not the amother with the semi colons. I just kept my mouth shut though since there's no point in arguing with people who have their mind made up.


I was not the amother of the semicolons either. I didn't say anything either.


Last edited by ElTam on Tue, Jan 01 2013, 1:53 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Shmerling




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2012, 7:49 pm
ruth wrote:
Yael, I just want to know how did the abused woman know for sure that her abuser was told?

You needn't divulge details, it is just that sometimes women in this situation are in such a sick, manipulated relationship and in an emotionally strung out state that it is hard to parse out details.

For example, maybe the abuser found out on his own somehow (has something on her computer?) Then to mess with her head he tells her "a friend told him" or something to this effect. He did this to make her feel she could not trust anyone and go for help.... Do you all see my point?


On that thread, the other woman admitted that she told the husband. She also tried to explain and justify why she did it.
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bluebird




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Dec 31 2012, 9:08 pm
ElTam wrote:
Quote:

bluebird wrote:
Quote:
I actually do alter my writing style when I post as amother ever since I saw a thread in which several posters claimed to identify an amother based on her excessive use of semicolons. I wasn't that amother, but I'm a semicolon lover myself and I make sure not to use them when posting as amother now.

ElTam wrote:
I thought the same thing when I saw that thread bluebird. I love me some semicolons. I don't know who the poster people were thinking of, but if you are going on semicolons, you are likely to be misled.

Bluebird wrote:
Oh you too? I am pretty sure they were referring to me but I was definitely not the amother with the semi colons. I just kept my mouth shut though since there's no point in arguing with people who have their mind made up.


I was not the amother of the semicolons either. I didn't say anything either.


Where did that third quote come from? I did not write that! Please edit your post to correct it.
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ruth




 
 
 


Post  Tue, Jan 01 2013, 4:03 am
sky wrote:
ruth wrote:
Yael, I just want to know how did the abused woman know for sure that her abuser was told?

You needn't divulge details, it is just that sometimes women in this situation are in such a sick, manipulated relationship and in an emotionally strung out state that it is hard to parse out details.

For example, maybe the abuser found out on his own somehow (has something on her computer?) Then to mess with her head he tells her "a friend told him" or something to this effect. He did this to make her feel she could not trust anyone and go for help.... Do you all see my point?[/size]


Yael wrote:
The woman who did this regrets what she did, and feels very bad. she apologized both to me and to the abused woman.

The thread was removed right away.

The abused wife is not in any danger.


that is sad. Did the woman who disclosed think she was, in some kind of misguided way, giving constructive tochacha to the abuser? Ie, "see how bad the situation is? Your wife is having to go help." Ppl think abusers will change if confronted.

I am glad when you say the abused wife isn't in danger. I just doubt that this is the case for long though.
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sharebearg




 
 
 


Post  Wed, Jan 02 2013, 10:26 am
In all honesty, how would going to an abuser ever ever be helpful? It always be done in a safe environment, when both are present with a counselor. It might have been an absolute disaster and the poor woman was coming here to vent. I honestly dont care what people say if their friends come here, why in the world would you have to go to the spouse?
Even more so, why not go to the woman and offer a caring heart and ear. Cmon some people are so naive, and my point about whats going on with other issues in the frum world. It doesnt matter if you apologized and the woman is okay, what you did was very vcery wrong on so many levels. And please dont call yourself even a friend, because a "friend" wouldnt do what you did! Work on your own life, which you obvioulsy need to!
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Kfar




 
 
 


Post  Fri, Jan 04 2013, 3:43 pm
Isn't an abused wife by definition always in danger? Acceptance of an apology here seems disproportionate to the act and a continuing risk.
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