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amother






Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 2:20 am
the other day I was in a little mini market here in israel. a mother and her son, around 10 yrs old were there. suddenly, another boy walks into the store, (alone, without his parents) also around 10 yrs old, walks up to the boy there with his mom, and starts hitting him! the boy's mother grabs the boy that was hitting and smacked him across the face, screaming "you hit my child! who do you think you are!.........etc..."
now I know, I know, no one has the right to discipline other people's kids. if a kid does something wrong, I have no right to punish him....only his mother does.
however.......I can't say that I blame this woman! I feel like I personally would have done the same thing! if I saw someone hitting my kid, I definitely would have smacked the cr@p out of him! saying something not nice to him is one thing, but if I ever saw someone hit my child, I feel like I would have had to discipline him myself, especially since his mother was not there.
any thoughts?
was this mother right?
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hadasa




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 5:45 am
I don't see how hitting the child was beneficial for anyone involved. I would just have told him off.
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amother






Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 6:01 am
I agree with Hadasa. Look I sure would have felt like hitting him. (Though then again we really never know what we would do in a situation till it faces us in reality). I sure would have given him a big lecture, in which he would have been sorry he touched my kid. I would also have asked for his phone # and called his mom right there on my cell phone and if nothing else, make the kid regret he did it (although chances are the mother of a kid who would do that, would care less). I dont think I would hit the kid (although I am sure I would feel like it) but I would do anything to regret that he did that!
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HindaRochel




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 6:54 am
Slapping the child is a big no-no. Taking hold of his hand and stopping him from further hurting my child would be fine.
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withhumor




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 11:24 am
Where do you think they learn to smack in the first place? From parents who smack. If you can’t use words over violence, what are you hoping to achieve? In our house we have a rule “in this house we talk with words, not with hitting, biting, kicking etc. if you have something to say, we want to hear it’ this works magically on a kid that is out of control.
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gryp




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:15 pm
OP, if you think it's okay to hit another person's child, dont be surprised if that child hits you right back. and then what will you do? hit him harder?

your son is 10. old enough to be fighting his own fights.
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lubcoralsprings




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:17 pm
I don't think you can hit another persons child unless you or your child is in immediate danger and you are doing so in an act of self-defence. I would have just grabbed my child and walked out of the store. In the US you could be arrested for doing something like that.
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mumoo




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:18 pm
amother wrote:
I would also have asked for his phone # and called his mom right there on my cell phone and if nothing else, make the kid regret he did it (although chances are the mother of a kid who would do that, would care less).


this is not always the case. a ten yr old many times does things that asolutely horrifies his parents; don't always blame them

but I agree with everybody else-hitting the boy is just as bad (maybe worse; you're the adult) as him hitting your son. It also misses a good oppurtunity to show your son how to handle a trying situation

all that being said-I'd also love to pummel the brat!! Wink
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amother






Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:28 pm
GR......I just wanted to clarify that it was NOT my son, and I did NOT hit anyone. I was merely an observer. my son is only an infant. we were just there watching.
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gryp




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:35 pm
oops, sorry, amother. I meant to write it like that, towards the woman who you saw.
I got mixed up when I read:
Quote:
I feel like I personally would have done the same thing! if I saw someone hitting my kid, I definitely would have smacked the cr@p out of him!
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Mrs. XYZ




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 1:33 pm
Huh? a 10 year old boy walks into a store and just starts hitting another boy/stranger for no reason?? Confused
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Tefila




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 1:43 pm
Quote:
I don't see how hitting the child was beneficial for anyone involved. I would just have told him off
.
100% I agree.
and
Quote:
Huh? a 10 year old boy walks into a store and just starts hitting another boy/stranger for no reason??

Very strange I agree, I wouldv'e tried to get to the root of it if I had time Confused
and Gr 100% I agree with u too Wink
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PinkandYellow




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 2:18 pm
So what would you all suggest for a sitch where another kid (toddler-ish age) is biting/kicking/hitting/generally beating-up your toddler-ish aged kid and the parent doesn't discipline or stop him at all? Do you have a right/obligation to say something, even tho the mom is right there? If yes, what would you recomend?
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gryp




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 3:02 pm
how about: "Excuse me, it looks like your child is out of control?" Smile
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happymom




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 4:42 pm
I just dont understand people who HIT to teach not to HIT!!!!!! It makes NO sense at alL!!!!!! ITs like we dont hit, so heres a slap! Rolling Eyes

what can be done is the parent can remove the other kid,and restrain them making sure they calm down, and then gently explain that we do NOT HIT and we use WORDS. and if there is no reason for the htting just remove the child and again, tell them we do NOT hit and its not ok ever to use our hands for that. our hands are for mitzvos like giving tzedaka etc, not for hitting.
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anon




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 4:50 pm
Mrs. XYZ wrote:
Huh? a 10 year old boy walks into a store and just starts hitting another boy/stranger for no reason?? Confused


This also has me completely baffled. When I read the OP's post, I was trying to figure this out more than I was trying to decide about disciplining practices.
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lubcoralsprings




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 4:58 pm
Are you sure the kid was normal? Maybe he had some kind of disability? I just can't see a normal ten year old doing that.
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anon




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 5:00 pm
lubcoralsprings wrote:
Are you sure the kid was normal? Maybe he had some kind of disability? I just can't see a normal ten year old doing that.


Yup. The reason that the kid starting hitting is important in deciding what the best reaction should have been.
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happymom




 
 
 


Post  Sun, Feb 04 2007, 5:57 pm
and I still cant believe that the mother would slap him back! what bad chinuch for her child! shock
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hadasa




 
 
 


Post  Mon, Feb 05 2007, 6:50 am
MosheDovid'sMom wrote:
So what would you all suggest for a sitch where another kid (toddler-ish age) is biting/kicking/hitting/generally beating-up your toddler-ish aged kid and the parent doesn't discipline or stop him at all? Do you have a right/obligation to say something, even tho the mom is right there? If yes, what would you recomend?


The first thing I do is take the child who's being hurt into my arms and hug and kiss him. This a. prevents him from being hurt, b. gives him extra attention, while ignoring the hitter, and may make the hitter feel it wasn't worth it, especially if he's looking for negative attention.

I do the same thing if it's my kid hurting another or if they're both mine.
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