How many Shalach-Manos will you be sending this year?

withhumor

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 11:03 am

I’m not going to spend my hard earned money giving cheaply-thrown-together packages to people that really don’t need one more candy bar. If I give, I want it to be according to the halacha, and presented attractively. So I limit it to my parents and my in-laws.

I categorized this overzealous ambition to give to everyone you know, in the same department as making a bar-mitzva and inviting 500 couples. It’s unnecessary and for us, QUALITY surpasses QUANTTIY!

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 11:28 am

I know of a school in B.P. that has a policy NO MM TO TEACHERs AND FRIENDS, which I think is the smartest idea. If a family has 8-10 kids, it could take hours and hours just delivering for the teachers alone! (now for those who dont know what the streets of B.P. look like on Purim, it could take 10-15 minutes to pass through one block!).
Now, I live out of town, so I basically dont have family here, dont have a million neighbors...so we give a few friends/neighbors and some teachers.

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 11:44 am

amother wrote:

my neighbors are VERY unfriendly so there is no giving of mishloach manot to the neighbors. I am not going to spend my hard earned money on ppl that do not even say hi or act very nicely.

I hope this isn't Lashon Hara, but can I guess that you live either in the twenties in Midwood, or B.P. Scratching Head

?
Please don't attack poor Amother(s).

chocolate moose

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:22 pm

In Crown Heights 70% of the ppl are BTs and don't have family to give to. I find the main focus is the kids, giving to their classmates.

Now that my kids are older teens, many of their friends are out of town so they give less....and I'm giving more to my friends in shul and my own friends in the building we live in.

SM is a mitzvah but it's more important to give more matanos levyonim than, as withhumor says, SM to a family who doesn't need one more candy bar.

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:23 pm

amother wrote:

my neighbors are VERY unfriendly so there is no giving of mishloach manot to the neighbors. I am not going to spend my hard earned money on ppl that do not even say hi or act very nicely.

I hope this isn't Lashon Hara, but can I guess that you live either in the twenties in Midwood, or B.P. Scratching Head

?
Please don't attack poor Amother(s).

nope I live in israel.

withhumor

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 12:53 pm

Pippi, if you’re not going to make it to their homes on Purim, then I wouldn’t bother with a traditional Purim-style basket. A gift for the ‘holiday’ will have an even greater impact. Make a list of how many you need to give to and how much the budget is, then divide it. Then decide if it’s enough $$ after the dividing and if not, cut out one or two. A small gift certificate should do, instead of the food. After all, it’s what you write in the note that matters.

Usually, a cute/funny incident about your child included in the note will brighten their day and leave a lasting impact; they will feel like a million dollars because the note is custom written to them.

An idea: my son saw a wedding invitation last night on the kitchen counter and commented, “Wow. It’s almost as nice as my report card!” when repeating this to the kallah, she had a laughing fit and I made her day, without a wedding gift (which made my day too!)

amother

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 1:00 pm

As a single mother, I can tell you the matanos l'evyonim bring so much simcha into my house! Anonymous people (for all I know they may be my neighbors?) slip envelopes under my door, and I can tell you it is sooooo appreciated, beyond words! The extra candy bars can make the kids happy for a few hours or more, but having a relaxed mother is quite another story! The money that is slipped under the door truly makes for a simchas yom tov!
Although I hate being on the receiving end, I have an easier time on Purim, simply because it is the norm to give matanos l'evyonim on that day.

lubcoralsprings

Sun, Feb 04 2007, 1:10 pm

I give to good friends. Last year I gave to my kids teachers and made a few cheap ones for their friends. (MY kids are preschool age). This year I am going to do the same. I will go to a cheap store to find some chachkees for my kids shalach manos and make cakes for my friends.

Marion

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 3:06 am

amother wrote:

Teachers get it in school either before or after Purim, and it's usually an envelope with a nice note and some money.

That's not the mitzvah of Mishloach Manot. The mitzvah is to give one food package with two different kinds of ready-to-eat food (different brachas). Sending a card, or a note with money, does not fulfill the mitzvah. (There are, however, some great fundraisers that you pay a certain amount of money per family, and the family receives one big food basket with a list of all the families who sent to them. These usually fulfill both mitzvot of Mishloach Manot and Matanot l'Evyonim.)

supermom

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 3:49 am

I give thirty seven every year. We live in a community that everyone gives everyone. But it is only two brachos no one usually gives more than that. To recycle would be strange since everyone knows where it came from. Making two brachos don't come out to expensive in the long run. For my in laws we are going to be doing something different.

sarahd

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 4:44 am

We give 10-12 each year, which is an amount that I have become comfortable with. It doesn't cost that much, since we give small baskets and I bake cookies or else give a small salad and crackers. I don't think I spend more than $30 on the whole thing.

shalhevet

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 5:05 am

We give about 30 each year - neighbours, children's teachers/ gananot/ rebbes, close friends.
In our community no-one is in competition; people give simple SM with maybe a homemade cake, a bag of Bisli or Bamba, and a few items of nosh or homemade salads or challa. No themes. No big expenses. Just pure simcha and enhancing friendships.
For the children's teachers etc I think it is hakaros hatov of the effort they make all year by giving them the attention - I give them a nicer SM and I think it's important for the children to take the opportunity to say thank you.
You can also use SM as a means of giving matanos laevyonim without embarrassing people - give them plenty of useful foods such as tuna, canned fruit and veg etc along with the nash.
The point of SM is to spread a feeling of togetherness amongst Jews. I think that is accomplished much better by including lots of people with something small and thoughtful rather than giving one or two expensive themed SM and not giving anything to the neighbour down the hall or your child's teacher.

BinahYeteirah

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 5:30 am

If you give salads in your MM, what ones do you include? How do you prepare it so it will keep as long as it needs to? I'm sick of the nosh, and I want to give something healthy, but I'm not sure how to go about this...

BinahYeteirah

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 5:32 am

shalhevet wrote:

30 MM with a cake, Bamba, and some nosh sounds expensive to me. Maybe I'm just cheap!

shalhevet

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 5:33 am

People give things like chatzilim, cucumber salad, corn salad etc. Put them into small plastic containers in the fridge and take them out just when you want to give/ deliver them.